I have been suicidal as long as I can remember. If you need anyone I’m here. I’ll gladly share my story with you
I have this tattoo on my wrist.
It’s a peace sign and it says I’m still breathing.
I’ve had it for two years.
I couldn’t protect my sister, So I didn’t want to live.
My […]
I got Fallout 4. I have had it for 4 days now and haven’t played it. I haven’t watched a new movie in … wow I don’t even remember the last movie I watched. Must have been well over a year ago. I have no interest in anything anymore. I did some research and found that it is one of the many symptoms of depression that I definitely have. I will spend an entire weekend doing nothing and then hate myself on monday for wasting it. Anyone else suffering from a complete lack of interest in things you used to be passionate about?
I was 21 years old when I visited a local Doctor who was well known as the guy to see if you wanted anabolic steroids. I explained to him how I had been training and trying to change my body as I had no confidence in the way I looked. I explained how I was not confident enough to ever have a relationship or go on a date. He asked lots of questions and I admitted to having panic attacks when I would go out to clubs with friends on a Friday or Saturday night. I felt like […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Warning: This is extremely long, wordy, and unimportant.
I was just thinking.. Where did my anxiety come from? I used to be extremely outgoing. What happened?
I’m Sorry
I just want to start this off, by saying I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you in the past, and for all the terrible things I’ve done to you. I can understand if you hate me. It’d be a lie for me to say that I’d be okay with that, or able to accept it, but when I say I’d understand I mean it. I’m sorry for having feelings for you this summer, and complicating things between you and C, I’m sorry for kissing you, I’m sorry for being overly dependent on you, I’m sorry for trying to kiss you […]
i just have to remember ill be gone soon enough. i dont have any money so they wont care, just one more person they dont have to worry about. im so fucking stupid i should have done this sooner but i was to scared. when im alone i feel ok, but when im around other people im constantly being reminded that in im a piece of shit. im not worth anything to any one even if i did have a job and alot of money they still wouldnt care about me, its to late. its time to give up now. im still scared but […]
I feel so tired. I have been suicidal ever since I can remember. However, in recent years I have been distracting myself from these thoughts by trying to convince myself that life is better than the alternative. I would always tell myself “I’m going to try living to the fullest today. I can always die tomorrow.” There are days when this works and there are days when it doesn’t. I feel tired because I have to continuously keep convincing myself that life is worth living. Its been almost two years since I started living this way and I’m still not fully convinced of it.
Today is a different day, not that it is special or great. Today I don’t feel like killing myself.
Last week I was in a dark place and I stumbled onto this website because I was googling painless ways to kill myself. That night was unlike the previous ones because it was the first time i had tried to figure out how to do “it”.
I opened this page in a tab and clicked around some other sites until i concluded that I didn’t have access to anything that could be used to conveniently end my life. This page struck a chord with me and i cried a […]
So I just got my first job and I don’t know. I want to be happy about it but I feel like I’m just going to fuck it up bad. I feel like I’m going to do or say something stupid and everyone is going to remember it and I’m terrified I’ll be humiliated and I just want to cry even thinking about starting my first shift is making me want to burst in tears I don’t know if it’s just jitters or what but I feel like I’m going to simultaneously vomit and cry I don’t know what to do. I’m panicing so bad […]
You may not remember my previous post regarding my terrible withdrawl as I was waiting for an appt with a new pain management dr. That I appt was today and the doctor just said “no.” I brought all my Rx bottles to prove my current and legitimate usage, and clear need for pain control, especially my Fentanyl patches. He said my diseases don’t need these medications, despite the fact that this course has been working for years. He gave me Neurontin, the one med I told the nurse makes me feel really weird. He just said “No.”
I’m in shock. I cried all the way to […]
Alrighty my loves, I have another positive challenge for the day ahead. I would like if all of you told me one thing in this world that inspires you, whether it be music or food (heh food is mine) or a special pet or a loved one. By doing this, I hope to inspire a little light in the hearts of those who are having a horrid day to take a gander and remember that there are things and people that make your life worth living. Good luck, loves!!! 🙂
It’s a weird thing isn’t it. For example, browsing the internet and seeing a picture that’s kinda funny, but nothing that really warrants more than a quick sharp exhale out of your nose. But you see it and laugh a little…and then keep laughing. You forgot how good it feels to laugh, the feeling of joy no matter how brief. And you keep laughing and laughing to the point where you have to bite your tongue so you stop looking weird. But it doesn’t work. You haven’t laughed in so long because of the problems in your life, but here you are, giggling like a […]
“If you think you are the only one in the sky, just remember how many stars you are surrounded by 🙂 ” This is my quote that I thought of while I was rambling down the road. Never forget you are not alone 🙂
I just want to say a bit, fat, hugemongous thank you to all of my very punny peeps who enjoyed the pun post. I truly hope you all enjoyed it- I hope I was able to kindle some joy in your hearts. If any of you have a horrendous day, just dance your way over to the pun post and remember that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Have a wonderful evening my lovelies 🙂
Everyone tries to make me feel as if I’m crazy.
I can’t even talk to my husband because he looks at me like if I were an idiot.
Every time I try to be happy I end up crying and hating myself more than before I wish I knew what to do. As of this moment all I can remember that kept me sane was being a teen and cutting myself because no one was there to judge or tell me I was crazy. I’ve literally just started cutting myself because I just want this pain and sorry feeling to stop!
I cut myself knowing fully I want attention. Not just for that though. To release that endorphin to feel calm and relaxed and at peace with the world. I cut today to push on them through out the next few days to remember how little I’m loved. If I remember no one loves me then I wont ever get my hopes up to have them crushed
Ok guys, so this may sound weird, but I’m going for it. I felt a little down in the dumps today (perks of being bipolar) and was thinking about self harming when I just walked outside and felt the breeze on my skin and rays of sunlight kissing my face- I could almost feel Fall hanging in the air. I swear I was just there; I was just a moment in the day in the life of the world and it was good. I glanced towards the sky and the clouds… have I ever seen anything so beautiful? The shades of blues and creams and […]
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