I am stoned and I feel so good right now, I kinda don’t hate everything so much right now.
This may be my last post, for a while. Contemplating some things right now, trying to solve my life’s puzzle yet again. I’m missing a piece and it bothers me. Anyways, bye everyone (for now)
-glockamole
Happy New Year, everyone!
Whether you are going to some rave party where you have a 50/50 chance of overdosing on MDMA, or spending the night on a couch with Jack Daniels watching the T.V. shows, or sitting with your family at a table full of nice, homecooked food, I hope your transition into 2016 will be a pleasurable one!
I can’t say for sure, but I think I’ve gotten better. Sure, there’s the illicit drug use that might’ve played a role in that, but hey, as long as it worked, who cares, right? I’m off the chemical stuff anyway, sticking to the bud for now. Got […]
It’s 80 degrees out so I went to the beach I feel so happy right now and there are so many people out . So much life .
i’ve got to say, this link right here is one of my most favorite links i have ever been on…
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Why does killing yourself have to be so hard? I mean methods. They’re so much work and I’m so tired anyway. Shouldn’t I have the right to die quickly and painlessly if I want to? Why does anyone else have the right to force me to stay alive? Why is every decision except this one considered sacred and inviolable? I’m allowed to do anything with my life besides end it. Why are DNRs only acceptable for some illnesses and not others?
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I feel so lonely right now because I am spending Christmas so alone . I wish I had friends to give presents to or go to Christmas parties with . This time
Of the year makes me so sad . It’s hard to get out in the world and make friends .
But anyways happy holidays to you all. I’m gonna go drink some wine .
I promised a not to take enough to kill myself to my girlfriend. I relapses and had a paid attack and stole my dads pain meds but they were really strong ad I drank alot of vodka with itandnow I can’t focus get well can you tell me what to do to help my system deal with them? Becaus3 I’m not ready yet in so numb….
I’ve been so angry at my ex, sometimes to the point where I want to say or do mean things. I’ve been able resist actually saying anything (although at one point I made my friend hold onto my phone so I couldn’t text her).
But in the last few day I’ve been feeling a little less angry, just so incredibly sad (although I expect the anger to return periodically). I miss her and everything we had. I miss the future I thought we’d have together. I miss having someone who knew me as well as she did, someone who is my best friend, who I can trust […]
If I could, I’d fasten my arms around your waist,
And sigh my sorrows into the nape of your neck
Until my sadness becomes a part of your skin.
And if I could,
I’d scream, breathe, whisper your name,
Until my voice becomes a part of who you are.
If I could,
I’d hold your hand until you don’t feel right
Unless my fingers are occupying the spaces between yours.
If I could,
I’d make a home out of your sheets
Until your mattress holds my shape, and you can’t expel me from its folds.
Don’t forget me.
I don’t think I’ve felt complete in years. All there. Like something gnawing at my brain — chewing on it. A hamster or a rat just munching away bit by torturous bit. Like watching a horror movie where everyone dies at the end — you know — but you have to watch them die one by one. Or that moment on a beach when you see the water pull out for a couple kilometers out and it dawns on you — you’re impending doom […]
Last day to get obamacare. I’m uninsured right now and not sure if I should get it. I want to get diagnosed and maybe treated but it costs me 395 a month. I think my family’s financial welfare is more important than my mental welfare. What do you guys think? Thats a lot of money a month. Might cost me less just to pay the doctor cash.
I made this video so people could understand a little bit about what I’ve been through. I’m in a position where I’m asking complete strangers for help. Literally no one gives a fuck. I’m about to lose everything. Everything I’ve done on my own at least. Nothing ever works out. So I’m about to get kicked out of school and I asked for the funding I need on go fund me. So far I’m the only one who’s donated which is sad right? And I get it, but between the video and the go fund me page can anyone piece together how fucking desperate I […]
I dont even know if im publishing this, because im too emotional right now, but after a day that i was living ok, i went to do that thing that still makes me feel alive, or used to, not sure anymore, in my way to home i just cried, pain just got me.
Its just very hard to try to keep moving on without any happiness, full of guilty, full of dead love.
Well im just waiting a few days, after what happned to me last week , ill say goodbye to her, to all those things that i still have from her, only memories will remain […]
My life right now seems akin to that of a leaf’s in fall: vibrant and full of color on the outside, but dying on the inside just waiting, aching really, for winter’s final gust.
I absolutely hate the whole “suicide is selfish” bullshit. I really feel that people are selfish for making me stay alive & suffer. Sure, they’re not forcing me to stay alive, but I’ve been given the guilt trip & all of that stuff. Pretty much everyone in my life knows that I want to die. Family, friends, doctors, etc. I’m rather open about it. I’ve made all sorts of promises, but I really don’t know how much more I can take. I’ve had various plans. Some halfhearted attempts. Most of my plans now are pretty full proof, but complicated. I just stumbled across a new […]
I’ve been thinking about suicide since I was 13 years old. That was a long time ago.
This morning I woke up alone in my house, with this urge to end it all even stronger than before, but I know I’m not gonna do it, because I’m a coward, because I’m afraid, because I don’t want more suffering. I know that if I try something I’m gonna fail and gonna be in a worst physical state. I have this horrible pain in my arms, I don’t know what it is, but the stress and the depression make it worse.
I checked Facebook and I found all this […]
I just need to vent.
All of a sudden, I feel this overwhelming sadness. I don’t even know why I feel this way. So, I thought I should try and look back at things I love doing. Trying to be positive. I find that I don’t really have something that I love doing. Except writing, maybe. Not even that is making things easier right now.
I started looking back into my life, trying to find something that gave me some peace. And where do my thoughts take me?
The Dissecting Hall.
This will make me sound so fucking weird. I loved that place. I respected those bodies. They gave […]