I am so done
I’m falling, I’m sinning, and I’m scared as crap to repent
because it means facing my sins and making the same promise I keep making and I don’t know why i cant keep my promise to my Heavenly Father
I always plan on killing myself, on hurting myself, and i just want the pain to go away
I just want everything to be okay, just for one day so I can figure out how I can get everything under control in my life.
The only good thing in my life right now is my wonderful girlfriend.
But when my own family […]
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im a religious girl i believe in God but right about now my life is not so easy my dads away and he was the only person that i felt good with i only see him once a year and i rarely talk to him on the phone my mom… my mom is harsh on me and i understand why but i just can’t take it anymore im sixteen but she treats me like im three i have no social life outside of school and social medias my friends and she’s so mean when ever she has a problem with someone else or something im […]
I’m having another episode right now.. it’s really bad. i want something to happen… i either want to end it all right now or i want someone to just help me out of this and figure out what I should do next… I’m tired of waiting and letting this happen over andover again. please.
I’d like to die. Right now.
Leave my uneasiness behind; leave the people of my life, leave their smiles, leave the memories that haunt me.
I’m suffering to keep up with expectations, relationships, efforts, i’m tired to keep the unquietness inside, i’d like either to implode or destroy.
This sucks..
it sucks
Hi. Â This is probably going to be weird. I’m actually in 6th grade right now and I found this website. It matches me. Because this is the only website that I could write my thoughts about.
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It’s 3:07 am and I can’t sleep. I just can’t. I’m so tired and I want to rest. So I have a friend that always judge everything. I mean sometimes I ask myself why am I friends with this person? I mean she punched me on my stomach which really hurts for me because she doesn’t know anything about me except for the things […]
To those who are thinking of killing thelmselves ….STOP…take a moment to consider the reality of what will happen. Suicide is the single most selfish thing you could do. The pain you feel right now will not be gone, it will simply be transferred to the people you leave behind. They will never have a chance to say “I love you” again, they will never have a chance to give you a hug or a pat on the back for something good you may not have even known you were doing, they will never have a chance to tell you a joke and see your beautiful and unique […]
it amazes me how easy it is to fall back into the darkness. one minute i am cruising a long comfortably numb and the next i am making plans to die. i have been crying like someone is turning on a switch. my desire to be alone is strong. from where i am right now i see myself cutting the ties that keep me alive. maybe cutting isn’t the right word. maybe fading away is more accurate. i don’t share the chaos that is going on in my head with anyone. same old shit just different day. the paranoia i feel when i am out […]
Okay so it’s late here and I’m wide awake, lying in bed and i’m unable to fall asleep.
I was doing okay today and then suddenly, at about midnight, it hit me again. The sadness and emptiness and pain, everything just hit me again. How my brother is not here, in his room above me. And it’s still so unreal, still, after a year and a half. I still sometimes wonder if this isn’t just some nightmare. Because how can it be gone? How can a life that has been built up over almost 16 years be gone in 1 second? I just can’t wrap my […]
Exaggerations… Using words like, “never”, “always”, “nothing”, “everything”, “nobody”, “everyone”… Those are lies.
There are certainties like heat, and gravity, and the concept of time. Sure. Those are irrelevant.
But apathy and ambivalence are illusions to hide pain and pleasure. Sorrow and joy… These are human.
This is – simply – you.
And it is your right to enjoy your existence.
The reason you demand satisfaction is because “happiness” is the truth.
I know who I am. I feel. I’m alive. And sometimes, just sometimes I don’t want that. I’m real.
I need you to be real with me.
Love,
HeartCore
Has anybody (obviously you have) gotten to the point when you feel like you’ve run out of tears? You want to cry, let it out, you need it, but somehow you can’t? Numbness slowly taking over day after day… I would give anything to be able to cry my heart out right now. It’s just what you need sometimes.
Death cannot be worse than this numbness. Nothing is. We all know that no pain is much more painful than what we call pain…
Not feeling at all,
PURPLEPAIN
I decided to off myself some time ago, but in the middle of getting everything arranged (will, notes to people left behind, etc.), I rekindled a love with a wonderful girl I met my freshman year of college (5 years ago at this point). Â I was so fascinated and enthralled with her that I thought, maybe, somehow, this is what I’ve needed. Â Something healthy and fulfilling after years of miserable, abusive, horrid intimate relationships. Â So, I put everything off.
Afterwards, I was happy, really happy for a spell, and every part of me was distracted by her. Â Even when bad feelings came, I knew I had […]
Hi I am a 47 year old woman who just wants to shuffle this mortal coil once and for all, but I feel trapped here because I don’t have access to a method that would enable a quick exit.
I am pleased to meet you all and I feel really sad for the people who feel that they want to leave the earth plane, and I really hope that you all can find a reason for living because i am sure that most of you really shouldn’t be here planning your suicide as you all deserve a happy life with loved ones around you.
I would rather […]
just a note to tell you what a joke tms is. all i have to do is get 3 clinics and my insurer to talk to each other! piece of cake right? my money is on the insurance denial. especially when i found the price tag. 6-12 grand! i would tell you this in person but i haven’t done my homework. not willing to go into that kind of debt just to “fix” my brain. as of this time i am still worth more dead than alive. not that anyone is keeping score.
I’m heading down a destructive path I don’t care anymore Im jut kinda done with it. I’m ignoring how I feel it builds up and I freak out have breakdowns and panic attacks. I’m not functioning right. Im to busy helping others trying to make ten happy and worrying about them that I don’t even help myself or even try to. I don’t know what to do I don’t think I want to get help anymore I’m just kinda here.
I want to cut, I want to cut, cut, cut, cut, blood, drip, drop, razor, sharp, blade – My therapist needs to be on call right now, and he needs to stop being a prick. Â Anyways, you probably think I am another whiney teenager… Â Nope I am a bitchy 30 year old nasty **** whore. Â I keep thinking the best way to rid the world of my filth is to jump off that bridge. Â BUT I have done that once and survived injured but alive and pissed off. Â I could just use some words of wisdom or hilarious stupidity right now. Â THANK YOU
I don’t even understand why I said yes to going out with him. I know I’m not ready for a relationship right now. Hell..he barely even knows me. He is nice and all, but I just don’t know what to do. I just got out of a relationship 2 months ago and I know that I am still in love with my ex boyfriend. It’s not fair to my new bf that I am dating him knowing that I am still in love with my ex. I could try and get to know the new bf and maybe really end up liking him…or I could […]
Why don’t people have the right to commit suicide? As soon as a person says that they are going to kill themselves all of their rights get taken away from them. It is their life and their body why can’t they kill them selves if they so wish? People have the right to abortion, that is also dealing with life and death. Generally people who kill themselves have been dealing with depression for years, wouldn’t it be easier for them to just kill them self? Who is to say it will get better?
im done with the waiting around
but i can stop it; i just cant stop it
it hurts to wait for people like this
but i have to; i force myself too
i try to let people go and on their way
instead of them hanging around me
and me bring them down to my level
but i cant let go of these people
and i dont know why because i need to
i need to let them go because soon
ill be going myself; ill be on my way
and maybe its going to hurt them
or maybe not, but all i know
as […]
im in the studio right now, and I’m having a break down. i can’t do this. i want to talk to him so badly. i can’t stop freaking out. i want to talk to him. i can’t. i want to graduate. i want my work to be great. i want a good life. i want him in my life forever, but not as friends. i want him to know how much i love him and care about him and how insane he is. all i want is to be with him, to graduate, and to get a job. i fucking sitting in the corner right […]
It’s been almost 2 weeks since I stopped cutting, I was not that bad when I stopped that’s why I did, but I don’t think I’ve ever had this huge need to cut like I have right now, it’s getting really tough…I’m not sure I can continue like this, maybe I should continue doing it, nothing seems to care, I don’t even care so…