I see life’s travel before my eyes, and many years have passed an I am still hear. Locked always, in this shell of a thing. Roaming about this world I greave for them all not to see. Yet all they have to do is look in the mirror and fine it ,for them selves. From their own book in hand do they judge ,and server the one they fear most. Yet they never learn the gift that they where given. Choice: to be able to change, the fate of man instead of following the wheel. Sometime I start to think they are not who they […]
Tag:
Rocks
I guess i am not the ordinary 17 year old kid, I walk around with a tophat with goggles, long leather coats with spikes on them and jeans with chains. But this not even why people threaten me everyday, or throw rocks at me because they did that before I started looking weird. I guess it’s just me, for some reason I probably deserve it, because no matter what i do, no matter where i go i always get punished. When it’s not people punishing me it is faith, broken bikes with 15km to  go and no one to reach, trains suddenly all stop, beehives […]
i am quiet, this is no new thing but when i am quiet, i think of hurtful things.
mother says she loves me but how should i know it be true? father claims it too but i don’t know how to believe it’s all true.
i am forever alone in this dark head of mine, left to rot and watch this decaying world as everyone pretends it’s all ok.
i hurt myself to protect all of whom i love, if i did not i would hurt them, feel their bones break under foot, watch blood drip from their finger tips and spill onto me, with the glorious shades […]
we think we are superior than animals, we are animals ourselves. our houses made of wood and rocks. that’s all we are, a speck, waiting to go back to dust. that’s all we are. why experience this life at all? what gives. it’s sad to think I used to believe in magic, magic don’t exist. happiness don’t exist. life is just some big joke, one big mistake. my thoughts are the cause of my very depression and anxiety. I envy the dead.
I’m suicidal for three years straight. I’m a victim off bullying, I cut, I have no friends, I love the wrong person and I have no perspectives in life. I tried to kill myself by overdosing and cutting veins but it didn’t work.
I want to combine jumping, drowning and poison in my last seconds of life. I want to do all of this at night. Here the European Yew grows wild in the parks. My aim is to collect several hundreds of seeds and about 200 grams of fresh leaves, mash it and ingest it. It will make me die of cardiac arrest. […]
I plan on drowning myself. Everything is planned except one of the most essential things: counterweights. I’m 103lbs and weak in strength. And there are no rocks near where I want to go.
I was so excited and anxious, now I’m just disappointed and irritated. I have to do this. I have to. As soon as possible. But the most essential thing…the thing that would guarantee my demise… I can’t think of anything. F***.
Until there’s a solution… I don’t even think I can hide. It hurts and there’s no where safe. But I have to think. Think. Think. This needs to happen fast and soon.
It’s 3:11 am, I’m just hanging out until my Xanax kicks in. To bad all my problem will still be here tomorrow. I really really need to pull the trigger. Since I’ve got only 8 pills left, maybe that sets the date 🙂
I’ve been arguing with myself over the topic of suicide for a while now. I randomly came across this site from a Google search about suicide and felt inclined to sign up and post something. I’ll be surprised if anyone even reads this. Or comments. Or offers help.
I’m deeply, horribly depressed, and I don’t get why. I’ve never been abused. I’ve never lost a loved one. I don’t come from a broken family. I grew up in a comfortable lifestyle. I have no reason to be depressed. Alas, I am. I’m empty inside.
Although I grew up in a comfortable home, I never had […]
this is so beautiful
it calms me right down
like a river with the water slipping over the rocks sparkling with sunlight in the water
just calms me down
i want to cut severely deep.
i want to hit myself with the hardest things, as hard as i can.
i want to drown in my tub with heavy rocks holding me down.
i want to never speak again.
i want to take all the pills i can find.
i want to purge until my throat is raw.
i want to never eat again.
i want to say good bye and mean it.
i want my body to fail me.
i want the blood to keep pouring.
i want the darkness to eat me alive.
pulling me further and further down.
i will be no more.
nothing.
gone.
if only […]
Nothing ever gets better no matter where I go. I try to make a good life for me and everyone just wants to abuse me. Whether its mentally or physically. I never to do anything to anyone and I just get shit on. I’m ready for it to be over. I want to die and never look back. I don’t care if I hurt people after I’m gone because I won’t see them hurt and I can’t get hurt either. I really try my best and I get pushed in the mud and rocks. When will it end and I can live happily. I just […]
Once again I find myself feeling like I’m stuck on my own pathetic little island lost in a sea of misery.
I send out countless notes in bottles everyday, hoping to be rescued, but I doubt most of them are ever found, and the few that are don’t seem to make sense, maybe I’m losing my wits.
The thin straight scars on my left wrist are like an S.O.S. sign made with rocks on the beach, too small and insignificant to be seen.
I’d make a signal fire, but this island is too cold and damp with despair for any sort of hope to ignite.
Oh well, looks like […]
Ello. Domino speaking. Back from the hospital. And being closely monitored by a drunk dad. Hahaha. I failed once more. What is this, the 5th time? Fun.. Anyways, while I was in the hospital, I was given the ‘privilege’ of having looseleaf paper and a pencil to draw. But of course, I didn’t draw, I write. So I just slept until a dream stayed in my head, and it turned out to be one of my old memories. I feel bad for leaving you all like I did earlier, so I’m gunna type it right here for you all to know a little bit more […]
Spin, spin,
Spin around,
Desperate to stop.
Stride, stride,
Here you come
Striding at the top.
Play, play
With your mind,
Daughter of the odds,
With your pretty eyes gone blind
You’re breaking on the rocks.
I often fantasize about being stranded on a tropical island, completely isolated. I don’t care how I get there, and I don’t care the state I am when I finally arrive. But it would be nice, for once, to be completely alone in a beautiful place and not have to worry about media, or politics, or finances, or love. Just live with nature and forget about everything that happened in the “real world”.
I’m pretty adapted to nature. I know how to start a fire with a couple rocks, or two stick, or a bunch of dried grass, a couple of splintered sticks, and a piece […]
If you have the time I’d appreciate your thoughts on the following extracts by writer Matthew Parris:
“When I die, and if I have to arrange it myself, I will consult nobody, and do it unassisted if I can. I entertain not a flicker of moral or practical doubt on the subject, and never have. Speaking only for myself — in such matters one should never judge for others — if Nature does not do the job in a timely manner I shall consider it a duty to take matters into my own hands.
I can’t tell you how simple I find these arguments: so simple […]
When I was a kid I used to climb rocks and mountains, this one time I slipped and was hanging on the edge of a rock, the fall would have certainly resulted in my demise. I was scared, but then I looked down and for some reason I felt more alive there hanging so close to death. I felt so much life in me on that cliff.
10 years latter, I have finished my education, a bachelors degree and latter a masters degree in computer science and with good grades. I have a pretty decent job. I have pretty much accomplished what ever I was […]
Ok. If you self-harm, or think no one cares about you, you should probably read this.
by jjgirl13
written by jjgirl13
So I just woke up after a good 18 hours of sleep, so I’m going to post what’s on my mind while I have the energy. Throw rocks at me if you will.
So many people here don’t genuinely seem to be suicidal. Yes, I am aware that also many of you are. But a lot of people are just here to cry for attention or are depressed because a lack of attention from others. Crying for attention among other people who are here because they want attention, or because they are suicidal (and a lot of people who are suicidal are self-absorbed or caught […]
Dear Shekiera,
I words can’t possibly express how much I miss you, everyday I think about you, sometimes with a smile on my face and other times with tears. I remember the first time I met you, you were grade one and I was in grade two. we were both shy, socially awkward and got along great because we didn’t have to say alot to have a good time. back in grade two I can’t remember exactly what we would talk about, but I remember that we used to walk around and talk about “what if’s” and “when I’m older I’m going to’s”. You see, Shekiera, […]
I’ve felt like this for many years. Right now I’m on the precipice of a major change in my life, one that will basically cast me out into the world. Unlike some of the others here, I have people who profess to being in ‘my corner’. But I realise that ultimately that’s all a sham. They can’t really do much for me because this thing stems from inside. It’s been described as screaming into the void or staring at the abyss. I choose neither. All I feel is empty, empty all the time. When I’m around people I feel empty. When I’m alone I feel […]
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