Tag:

Rubbish

Confused I guess

by cynical-sai 8/19/2013

written by cynical-sai

(Sorry in advanced if things are disjointed posting on my cell)

I found this site nearly two years ago thought maybe I should make an account. Each time I would be bogged down with fear that maybe I shouldn’t what would people think? After all I already get looks because I have to see a doctor on and off or the medication that has caused issues in the past.

Today I gave in the fear is still there however something I said last week gave me pause. “Maybe the reason I haven’t tried in a while isn’t because I suddenly want to live. Maybe it is because […]

8/19/2013 2 comments

Im not a ray of sunshine

by sleeplessinSTL 3/17/2013

written by sleeplessinSTL

By any means, I am not a ray of sunshine. I can’t help it. I’m only a teenager and I’ve basicly given up on life. I have no hopes for the future.

I used to want to be a journalist. I wanted to move back to Ireland and write about everything and anything. I wanted to get married and have a kid or two. I just wanted something out of life, but now I feel nothing. I feel numb. I just don’t know what I actually want. I had plans to do marvelous things with my best friends. But now, since one’s dead and the other […]

3/17/2013 3 comments

Whats in my mind – Poem Writen by me

by MissCMF 11/30/2012

written by MissCMF

Controlled by a Masked Man By MissCMF

Â© Copyright November 2012

I canâ€™t control any move, my head gives up soul comes to prove

The voices chant, the pain begins; I know I will never win

Crashing into tables, causing tears, but no one can know of these fear

When people enter I struggle to stop, act like Iâ€™m fine when really Iâ€™m not

If I told people whatâ€™s going on, theyâ€™ll think that Iâ€™m crazy that I donâ€™t belong

Who has a masked man in their heads, who when takes over makes the real me

The voices he uses are the ones […]

11/30/2012 3 comments

One Shtty brief flash of self-awareness Why.?

by donnie 9/11/2012

written by donnie

13.7 billion years ago. something strange began to happen.???Â There was a big bang & then Tiny parts of the universe became conscious. One of these’s part’s was called Donnie. & he was pissed. Why did donnie get. Life. I.E self-awareness. For.? If i was enjoyin it. cool. Maybe i would understand it. Ok why was i made self-aware for. Just to have a rubbish life. Then off my self & lapse back into unconsciousness.? It’s just my fate.Â to spend an eternity in darknesss. Then To have a shitty brief flash of self-awareness. Then slip back into an eternity of darkness. Once more. How […]

9/11/2012 6 comments

Suicide ratio men/women

by Painman 9/11/2012

written by Painman

I think ive cracked something, infactÂ I knowÂ I have . As most people know men are extremely more likely to commit suicide than women. I read that 80% of suicides are men and 74% of the time it is white males.

I wonder how much this ratio has to do with the relationship between men and women sexually and love wise.Â black men are generally wanted more.

women are extremely personal in my experience and really quite unforgiving on the large.

They dont really give mankind much (no offence)Â obviously this is a generalisation, but women are usually difficult to please and for men sufferingÂ and inÂ badÂ places they really do have […]

9/11/2012 22 comments

To die or not to die that is the question?

by wideawake 8/23/2012

written by wideawake

I once asked my friend what he thought about suicide.He told me “suicide is aÂ permanentÂ solution to a temporary problem”, he told me it was gutless and a cowardly thing to do.

I think it’s the bravest thing anybody could ever do. To end your life and welcome death and look him straight in the eye, i think it’s the bravest thing anybody could ever achieve.

I’ve thought about it, many times, I don’t think there is a person who hasn’t had the thought of ending it all cross their mind in their entire lifetime. I am new to this site but already it’s helping me,Â every timeÂ I look […]

8/23/2012 4 comments

Why do things never change?

by Jamie-S11 8/17/2012

written by Jamie-S11

So my 20th birthday was a few days ago and things looked like they were starting to get better. Wasn’t feeling depressed, as much, and looking forward to a new college course which starts on the 27th of August. Also got back into football (soccer) and even got invited to join a couple of teams after impressing in a game. Well, I played in a game tonight and I was awful! Got beat 3-1 and all 3 goals were my fault. I’m a goalkeeper by the way. Doubt I’ll get asked back. Birthday night out was rubbish aswell! Basically people used it as an excuse […]

8/17/2012 29 comments

positivity?

by birthright 7/30/2012

written by birthright

im trying to force my way through today to be positive, my friend recently moved out of my house and she lives quiet a way away now and i really miss her, my brother also moved even furthur away recently. i really miss being able to easily hang around with them, they were my reasons for waking up, they still are, its just abit more difficult. i feel kind of lost, i like being around people when the black cloud of deppresion isnt horribly distorting who i am. so im going to try and go outside today, even if its just walking around in my […]

7/30/2012 2 comments

I deserve to be hated, I don’t deserve love

by StrandedSelkie 6/26/2012

written by StrandedSelkie

That’s what I’ve learnt in life.Â I don’t deserve to be loved, I must be the worst person ever, thus all I deserve is pain and misery. I’m tired and today was hell, so bare with me if I don’t make much sense. Ever since I remember I’ve wanted to be loved and accepted.. and ever since i remember, I’ve been denied. My mother has always hated me. She’d never say a nice thing about me, she was convinced I’d only exist to ruin her life, cause her misery and she still accuses me of having tried to kill her when i was 5… nobody […]

6/26/2012 2 comments

Love and Hate

by LiamS 3/20/2012

written by LiamS

I love her with all my heart. But I hate her for doing this to me. I love her for being honest about her feelings. But I hate her for not having those feelings. I hate myself for hating her. I hate myself for loving her.

Sometimes I think I’d be better off if I’d never looked at her a second time. It’s funny how that single act of going up to her and starting a conversation, has led me to where I am now. Sometimes I think I’d be better off if we’d never met, but then I wouldn’t have enjoyed the WONDERFUL time we […]

3/20/2012 2 comments

Well…I think I am going to Kill myself some time soon

by iusedtobenormal 2/28/2012

written by iusedtobenormal

or it certainly seems and feels like I will.

I have had mental health problems for years now and I have always actively tried to help myself. I have always sought help and have been medicated for a long time. I think it was hard because I was never ill enough for it to be noticed by anyone but ill enough for it to interfere with my life daily.

I just hate myself. Every time I close my eyes, my mind is screaming for me to end it. I just cant do it any more and I have no other choice. I have never visualised myself being […]

2/28/2012 10 comments