One Shtty brief flash of self-awareness Why.?

13.7 billion years ago. something strange began to happen.???  There was a big bang & then Tiny parts of the universe became conscious. One of these’s part’s was called Donnie. & he was pissed. Why did donnie get. Life. I.E self-awareness. For.? If i was enjoyin it. cool. Maybe i would understand it. Ok why was i made self-aware for. Just to have a rubbish life. Then off my self & lapse back into unconsciousness.? It’s just my fate.  to spend an eternity in darknesss. Then To have a shitty brief flash of self-awareness. Then slip back into an eternity of darkness. Once more. How fucked upis that.