Is it better that we have the choice to say goodbye, very possibly for the last time?, Or is it better not to have a goodbye?
Really I’m sure it’s the first one. At least than you can accept when someone goes that it’s true, …maybe
I guess it’s hard either way most of the time,
“No sir, I don’t like it”
Thoughts?
I’m a freshmen in college-Best time of my life, right? Here’s what I have accomplished, failing classes, attempting suicide, countless anxiety attacks, depression and a stay at a mental ward for a week.
Yeah, I tried to kill myself-I took…I don’t even remember how many handfuls of Tylenol. For awhile, the pills took away the pains I felt from either depression or the anxiety. I couldn’t feel anything. I banged my head against the wall-Nothing. I kept taking them, my heart was either beating too fast or too slow, I couldn’t tell which though. I got in the shower with my clothes on and just laid there. I was […]
I am not a wall
I am not a door,
Why is it okay for me to always be ignored?
Lack of importance, lack of self-respect
Suicide conquers alot of people,
please let me be the next.
Day by day,Night by niight
No more battling
I can’t win this fight.
Scars are there to remind me, how I used to feel,
but I take a step back to look,
nothing seems to be real.
I go through the motions,
every fucking day,
but when you ask me what’s wrong,
I don’t know what to say.
Darkness is around me,
everywhere I turn,
Happiness is what […]
I am only walking around and putting that smile on my face, I feel like I am torn apart, broken and can’t be fixed. I am doing my best too get by. Not a day goes by were I wish I could fade away and see if anyone would care. Honestly I think not that many people would even notice if I just faded away. Nothing is ever going too change I’ll always be the un-fixable girl. all alone here on the other end, I just do not want too keep going anymore you have too understand that if I do give up its not […]
Im saying goodbye the second week of november on a friday.If you ever read any of my other post you would know i once said something close to the world is bad thats why im leaving it but often times i forget theres one other reason.A secret that i keep that makes me feel like a monster.Everyone would miss me if i was dead im sure but there minds would quickly be changed if they knew my secret.My mom might even spit on my grave. Id rather be gone than to be shunned by society. I have already shunned myself. I dont love me even […]
I can’t do this anymore. I feel so….out of place and so fuckin depressed. Everything is going down hill for me yet again and I can’t handle it. I can’t be strong and I can’t pretend anymore. I think tonight might be my last night. I’m ready to go. I’m ready to disappear. No one will hear from me for a while I hope. I can’t handle the pain I’m in and uphold a happy face anymore. It hurts too much. And I can’t let them lock me up. This might just be goodbye.
That’s it. I said I’d wait a month before I made a decision, and I did just that. But now the time has come and the decision has been made. No more strings attached. No more saying goodbye and no more lies.
I have the date and, my method is a sure fire. I can’t afford to screw it up this time around. Besides I doubt I’ll get another chance like this…i hope the people around me who actually gave a damn can forgive me one day, but i figure that I’m doing them more of a favor this way then by sticking around. I’m not […]
I sent them all a note.
Wrote all the things to explain why i done it to them.
Saying these goodbyes were the hardest thing life could show me.
But they were meant to happen, for i had no future.
Now they can have theirs.
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