To begin i must be honest and say i had no intention of sharing this with someone else but it keeps eating me inside.I was always a shy kid and i didn’t have many friends.I am always getting bullied at school i even tried talking to someone about this but nothing changes the other kids that bully me got angrier.It was the day that they locked me our school’s closet bleeding with a broken nose that i realise that i must have done something wrong.I keep trying to fight this but the sadness and the frustration of nobody loving you and nobody hearing no matter […]
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it all started when i was ten.. my relationship with my parents was horrible, i started rebelling, cutting myself for the pain i felt, nobody loved me back then, my mom emotionally abused me 24*7, every moment at home felt like forever, it was hard.my dad was so controlling, he would scare me with his voice, and behaviour, he took away my phone, my stuffs, called me a dirty hoe. my mom and dad would fight, and scream, and she would threaten him that she will leave the house,or they will get separated. my mom also threw plates at me many times. we lived in […]
Today was the first day of my senior year, and I’m already having problems. Freshman and sophomore year were so rough for me, all cause of a stupid boy who ruined everything for me. As a result of our rocky breakup and all the drama that came with it, I started cutting. Then I started taking pills at night at first just anything for me to pass out, but that just progressed to taking as much as I can for a more lasting affect.. I was put on a 51/50 and stayed in a mental facility for 3 days. A few months after that I […]
so i burned myself the other day feel like doing it again cause im not satisfied with the amount of damage.school is also tommorow dont know why im trying again at something im bound to fail at.I want to do good but you cant live in the world if you dont want to live in the world.
I do have good reasons for wanting to leave.My whole family is alive and i dont want to watch them die in the next ten years.I want things to like pause forever and the only way i can do that is by dying.this world is crazy nobody is […]
my real name is Mark, but I prefer to be called Maciee. I came on here to find advice and possibly a way past this time.
it started when I was 7 or 8, wanting to be dressed up as a girl and to wear makeup, to be beautiful and comfortable in the pink and frills instead of the disgusting monster truck t-shirts and baseball caps. my mom died before i turned 5, but i know if she was still here she would have supported me now. i’m 12 years old, (soon to be 13 in a week counting today!). I live with my dad and […]
Why is it that I can’t go a day without thinking about killing myself?
Why do the girls at school hate me so much?
Why can’t I remember what happened to me?
Why is it that I hate myself so damn much?
Why do I cut myself almost every day?
Why can’t I stop?
Why is it my parents hate who I’ve become?
Why do the churches say that being bisexual is wrong?
Why can’t I be normal?
Why is it that I can’t be with who I love because she’s a girl?
Why do the boys bully me?
Why can’t I be accepted for who I am?
Why oh why does this world have to be […]
That’s how I feel. I want to die, but I feel stuck now. There are people who love me. People who want to see me get far in life. But I barely have any motivation to do anything. I don’t have a job, and I wasn’t able to graduate last year because of the sheer amount of days I missed from school. My ex is the total opposite of me. He has likes, wants, goals, and tons of motivation. He graduated high school last year, and took on a job at wal-mart to support his hobbies. I’m this person who’s dependent on medication and even […]
When I say seniors, I don’t mean school grade. I mean ‘over 65.’ I want to know if there are any others near my age on this website. I’m not presently suicidal. I have been most of my life. But now death is a given in the next 30 years or so. I’m wondering how persons from my generation who have survived feel now. Are there any on this website?
I’m presently having some physical problems. I am consulting with my general practitioner. I am not afraid of death, a friend I have sought during most of my life; but I’m also not afraid to live.
How […]
What it’s like to live under a bridge.
Living under a bridge can be rough. It’s dirty, muggy, and this often results in the troll being grumpy. The troll has good reason to be grumpy though. Not only are its living conditions disgusting, but also it gets to hear the footsteps of those above him all day long. All day…clunk thump; people walk by without noticing the grumpy old troll under the bridge. The troll didn’t used to be so grumpy. He was born into a nice family, but he was a fidgety troll. Therefore, his family began to dislike him and identify him as being […]
hi, first post. Suicide’s been in the news for the first time in a while, it seems..
I’ve been thinking about suicide and how the idea that it is bad, conflicts with several messages society sends. the idea that it is acceptable conflicts with other societal messages, and the idea it’s good obviously conflicts with many messages.
but just sort of thinking about life, society, humanity as a whole…. for anyone who tends to think logically on a macro (to the point where it’s difficult to form emotional attachments to real people in your close surroundings), why do people send out black-and-white messages to people? Whether it’s […]
So, I have to write an application essay for a program at school, and it asked to chronically the force(s) the influenced my life direction and decision apply in the first place. The issue is that those forces were having lived in a not always safe situation for most of my life, and kinda wanting to duck out early as a result of it. The problem is I can’t mention that because of the type of program that this is will immediately reject me… and that’s with out knowing that I have had no idea how to consistently keep waking up in the morning for […]
Hi, I’ve been fighting against depression for 15 years and I think I’ve finally given up on that battle. I can’t take it anymore. I just create havoc around me, and I drag people’s lives into misery with me.
I’m the only child of a deeply disturbed and disturbing woman. To everyone who doesn’t know her she seems to be a loving, caring person, quirky at most, but to those who are near her, she comes out as she is: plain scary. She’s violent, contradictory, manipulative. Ever since I was a young child I stood no chance to grow up to be normal, to be social, […]
Im isolating myself more and more for every day that passes. I feel completly, and utterly alone. This is something I feel I need to do- to minimize the damaged for the once I love. I have had no contact with any of my friends during the summer… and well, Im planning on giving them the cold shoulder once I get back to school. Distans is key to break as few hearts as possible I do belive.
But hey,if anyone feels like talking im all up for it. It’d be nice have a conversation that last more then a few words.
I’ve made a facebook, where im […]
im being hopeful for this sucky job at wal mart (not what i went to college for). its my last chance to provide for my family, get away from my my folks (blood family) and pay through school. if this doesnt go well, well, yknow.
“I guess everything happens for a reason. With love, goodbye.” These are the last lines found in the suicide note of my close friend Melissa Cameron who died nearly five years ago. Melissa and I were close friends in high school with a common struggle, we both suffered with extreme depression and thoughts of suicide, and although our friendship was originally formed on much lighter principals, it quickly turned into a relationship based on secrecy and what we considered to be “support.” Due to our suicidal tendencies, sharing ideas on different ways to kill ourselves became normal conversation, and we eventually made an agreement that […]
And that makes me sad, sort of.
My middle name is Maree, and I’ve had serious depression for about three-and-a-half years now. I believe the causes have an older age, but most of it is a bit foggy. Do I write “had” depression, as if it was an object? I had a hat that I used to wear everyday, no matter the weather, but now I don’t anymore. Or is it more of a condition: I’ve been depressed for three-and-a-half years, and the fact that it hasn’t let up tremendously shows it’s more that a bit of the blues.
I’m straying from the point. I don’t know […]
It’s funny I’m sharing my story here, cause just a couple of hours earlier I registered on here and actually posted a topic to clear my doubts regarding the suicide method I was opting for, at which I was politely told by a member here that this site is not appropriate for it. I’ve read multiple stories here, and I understand their pain, and I see they feel better having shared their stuff so I’m just trying my luck out as well, hoping I can resist the urge to die.
This basically refers to my two friends (C and M, I’m not gonna reveal the names […]
My last attempt at “100 days of happiness” is laughable. I got to day two before saying ‘fuck it’, so now I’m back to good old fashioned venting posts.. hence the numbering “four”. I guess I’m not cut out for that gimmicky bullshit. But I get a pat on the back for trying.
So today, it finally dawned on me that I need to lay off the carbs and sugar. I seriously feel like complete shit. Aside from the expected bloating, lack of physical energy, gain of ~6 pounds in the past month, constant breakouts… I’ve been feeling mentally slow, sluggish, lackluster. I woke up at […]
I wrote this for a project in english class. Its a story about my own life. I threw myself into 3rd person and became the friend I wish I had when this was all happening. I hope you enjoy.
id the same. I dont think I heard them ever tell him congratulations without there being a “but” after it. Maybe they did, but I’m pretty sure he would’ve told me about it. So, Alex goes through his life thinking he is never good enough, that failure far outweighs success and quite frankly, he was miserable. But, for some reason, I can never remember him crying.
In middle […]
It all started with a party/camping trip. I got invited just because I was best friends with one of the “popular” girls. When I got there it was great, I mean there was alcohol and drugs there and I got pressured into drinking and smoking but it was okay for a while. Soon after awhile I was finding myself talking to a boy who I wasn’t really interested in knowing one of the girls (I’ll call her Kayla) there was trying to get with him. With everyone drunk, high, and my flirty personality it looked like I was trying to hook up with him. (Which […]