Today was the first day of my senior year, and I’m already having problems. Freshman and sophomore year were so rough for me, all cause of a stupid boy who ruined everything for me. As a result of our rocky breakup and all the drama that came with it, I started cutting. Then I started taking pills at night at first just anything for me to pass out, but that just progressed to taking as much as I can for a more lasting affect.. I was put on a 51/50 and stayed in a mental facility for 3 days. A few months after that I went to an outpatient program, which helped me a lot. Junior year was a golden time for me. Everything seemed to be better and I continued taking my medication (Zoloft) and socially everything was well. At the end of the year though, things seemed to go downhill. Long story short I hooked up with this guy that I’ve known for awhile, without knowing he was still talking to someone. This went on for a couple of months and they were never official apparently until the last time before the girl foundout. I felt and still feel absolutely awful because no girl deserves that pain. My closest friends were also extremely close with the girl of the guy I hooked up with, but kept my secret for me. When she finally foundout, she texted me. and I apologized as best I could but she just ignored me. This was during summer. A little closer to the start of school i texted her once again a long message hoping to clear the air. I have three classes with her. Which makes it so much worse because she has no accepted my apology. It’s really awkward now, and her friends tweeted after school which I assume is about me so I feel extremely victimized. One of my bestfriends since 5th grade, turned on me basically. And in return me and a group of people who also hated him and some people who just didnt even know him, went and messed with his car. Not anything damaging, but putting ketchup, yogurt, sardines, and stuff like that onto his car. We made sure that it wouldnt do any damage, and me and the other guy that hates him the most just stood watch. Later, another one of my bestfriends who i introduced to eachother, claimed that she lost all respect for me and that i owe him an apology. I of course refused because I am not the type to apologize for something I am simply not sorry for. Anyways, ever since then we have hated eachother even though we are in the same friend group. This morning was the first time i saw her since all that drama happened.Honestly, until this incident, I didnt really think much of her other than someone that i felt betrayed by and that I cant trust and hardly know anymore. Well, at senior sunrise our group of friends took a picture and later, I foundout that she photoshopped a picture of the guy’s face whose car that i messed with over mine and sent it to our friends in a group message without me. I feel so alone in all of this. And tonight I find myself more depressed than in a long time and I just dont know what to do. It really hurt me at first and I almost cried but I refused to show the pain, but it stung so much. I feel like a loner at school now and feel like I should hangout with other people and yes I have other friends, but I’m afraid. High school is almost over and I just wanna have fun this year, but it has started out awfully. Advice or suggestions? ): i know it was really confusing but it was already the short version of each story
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3 comments
Hey, you seem like a good person, and to be honest I don’t think you need those friends that turn on you and leave you alone. Forget them, you deserve so much better. Try not to be afraid, because there are awesome people out there that you just need to go out and find, and once you have a new group of close friends all of this will be past. Stay strong!
High school is always so much unneeded drama when it comes to boys.
I wouldn’t worry about trying to be friends with those girls again, they are okay with making you feel like shit, so why give a damn about them?
You don’t need any negativity from any of those girls, block them off any social media you’re on with them and try to avoid them in life.
Hang out with the people that make you feel wanted, needed and loved, who genuinely care about you and would be understanding in an similar situation.
I also get hung up in what people think and say about me, it’s hard to just “let it go” but the sooner you cut them out of your life, the sooner you will feel better hun.
The thing is, as you’ve probably noticed, none of this was your fault. No one could have foreseen what happened so everyone who turned on you or is making you feel like shit, its their fault. Not yours. And probably deep down they understand that and they feel guilty about it and its just easier for them to turn on you. I’m a junior myself and the best advice I can offer you is what I’m sure people have already told you; tone whoever’s messing with you out. Just ignore them. You only have a year left with them after all. If it becomes too much and you want to talk to someone about it, you can email me.