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My last attempt at “100 days of happiness” is laughable. I got to day two before saying ‘fuck it’, so now I’m back to good old fashioned venting posts.. hence the numbering “four”. I guess I’m not cut out for that gimmicky bullshit. But I get a pat on the back for trying.

So today, it finally dawned on me that I need to lay off the carbs and sugar. I seriously feel like complete shit. Aside from the expected bloating, lack of physical energy, gain of ~6 pounds in the past month, constant breakouts… I’ve been feeling mentally slow, sluggish, lackluster. I woke up at 3 PM, for fuck’s sake, when I told myself I was OVER that phase of my life, and I’m right back at it.

I didn’t step foot outside at all today. I know I can’t keep living like this. Tomorrow, my mom is making me go with her to the gym at around 10 which is just as well because sometimes I think I need someone to discipline my self-indulgent ass. I have no boundaries when it comes to immediate gratification. It sucks and I’m trying to work on it. But school starts again in a little over three weeks and I desperately need to get myself back on track. It’s absolutely crucial, I keep telling myself this and I’ll continue to do so until it’s actually ingrained into my fucking brain. I can’t get kicked out of school. Not when I’ve already invested so much time, effort into making my college years worth it. If I won’t do it for myself, I need to do it for my parents.

Tomrrow is a new day and I’m going to make it count. Trust.


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Aeterna 8/4/2014 - 9:30 pm

Ulquiorra’s post :3

Anyways…im glad your mom is helping you whether she knows it or not. And you wont get kicked out youl do great!

*Pats on the back* Keep going 🙂

emwhy 8/4/2014 - 9:44 pm

I appreciate the kind words, Aeterna. 🙂 Who’s Ulquiorra?

Aeterna 8/4/2014 - 9:47 pm

Of course :3

Ahah..sorry. He is an anime character I like…and he is represented by the number 4….its come to the point where 4=Ulquiorra rather then a number to me at this point.

emwhy 8/4/2014 - 9:56 pm

OH I see! xD

alum 8/4/2014 - 10:05 pm

Hey em, I’m routing for you here. I’m in a similar situation myself, hope you get back on that academic work school grind. It helps if your school has a gym you can use as well. I cut out most refined sugar, caffeine and alcohol for much of the same reasons. You got this!

emwhy 8/4/2014 - 10:35 pm

Thanks a lot. I use people like you as my inspiration.

TheStranger17 8/5/2014 - 10:05 am

Just by reading this I know I like you. And yes, pat on the back for your two days trying. Keep going, I don’t know you, but, I’m cheering for you.

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