I’m 18 years old, and I’m done with life. It all started when I was 12. I started self harming. I’m not really sure why I started, but I couldn’t stop. Anytime anything went wrong, I would cut. 6 years later, I’m still cutting. I can’t control the urge, ive tired so hard to stop… but I just can’t. I’m covered in scars. I’ve seen therapists, counsellors, every kind of mental health professional you can think of and they still can’t find out what treatment works for me. They’ve tried it all. I’ve been sexually abused by a man who is still walking free, abandoned […]
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Self Harm
You know, I am trying to limit myself to one post per day on here, but something is bothering me. Well… not bothering. But I have something to share.
I never used to get self harm – even when I was doing it myself, but I didn’t think it was self harm until about a year ago. I never… understood why people did it. To get away? Because they hate themselves? Boredom? Distractions? I don’t know…I still cannot comprehend why I and others do it, because hurting yourself when you are already hurting is… nonsensical. But we do it anyway. We do it for the […]
Hello.
I have returned after over 2 years to this place where I have kept my thoughts and feelings in what is a private, but public place, in it’s own way. A type of blog, specially for people like me. This place has helped me and others so much, and sadly I must admit once more I have returned for it’s much needed support.
I was formly ‘LastLove’, but have since lost my account/email/password, so I won’t be retrieving my old pieces any time soon, so quickly I’ll add an overview of my, well, ‘problems’ as they may be called, my story, one of many.
I was sexually […]
I don’t really know where to start off. This is my first post so please don’t criticize me or anything.
Okay. So ever since I was a little kid, I mean little like 3, I’ve been terribly anxious. Anxious about anything and everything. And I don’t really have a reason, I just am. I’ve never really liked who I am, appearance, personality, etc. And in 5th grade I would constantly get made fun of and I just hated going to school. And then in 6th grade, I hated myself. I hated how I looked and I hated that other people were so much better.. So I […]
I hate my life. I’m so depressed.. It all started about a year ago. There was this guy I had liked for a while and we finally started talking. The first few weeks, everything was great. We texted just about everyday. Exchanged the finest words. Things were perfect. Then suddenly one day it’s like he just forgot about me. He started tweeting about this other girl and it made me feel invisible. Once him and her stopped talking, we started again. Then another girl came into the picture. I hated seeing them flirt at school. Anyways, he’d flip flop back and forth between her and […]
TRIGGER WARNING
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Hi there I’m a 14 year old gay male, I suffer from schitsophrania and chronic depression and I think I need to let my story out. I self harm, I started at a surprisingly young age of I think only six. At the time it was not an addiction it was something I had done once or twice because hurting myself and hiding it did’t get me in trouble where as hurting other people did. Arround the age of seven, I got my first scar on my wrist in the shower, using a shaveing razor I had cut just […]
So I don’t know if anyone on here is good at reading what dreams mean, but this is a really REALLY weird one that I had a few months ago (I had written it down when I woke up) and it involves the Holocaust, Ashley Purdy, and self harm. I am Hebrew (that’s the nationality Jew is the religion and I’m Christian not Jewish, but I had family members die in the Holocaust) and have struggled with self harm since the 2nd grade. I have also been a fan of Black Veil Brides since 2008 and Ashley Purdy is actually my least favourite of the […]
alright, it’s been a while since i’ve been on here, but, i exist still
nothing has really changed. my anxiety isn’t AS bad, i guess. I’ve been having more panic attacks though. a while ago, i talked about seeing things- and i still do. worst than before. it’s an all day thing. i always see things, i feel like someone is watching me 24/7 i feel uncomfortable all the time.
i have depersonalization disorder, but it isn’t really as bad as it was. now that i can actually deal with reality, i have come to terms that i absolutely hate my body and the way i look. […]
I’ve always been the strong one. The one who held others up when they couldn’t take it. I never wanted to burden others with my problems, so I tend to fake a smile and say I’m okay. I hate to be viewed as weak. It started when I was little — I was born to teenage parents who had a taste for methanphetamines. They did try to get clean when I was born, as well as three years later when my little brother came into the world. But their lifestyle caused me to take care of myself at an early age. A funny story I’ve […]
i think i took too many pills tonight. no worries–not nearly enough to overdose. i’m just a little pleasantly high.
i don’t really feel up to telling my story just now, just trying to vent. but i got a lot of shit going on. and i can’t get help for a lot of it. sometimes i think that maybe i don’t even WANt to get better. i am just so tired of fighting. and sometimes i think i will never get to where i want to be. I’m just … tired. and have a major case of the sads.
and my dysphoria keeps me up […]
In the last two weeks, I have had more and more thoughts of committing suicide. I have also gotten closer to self-harm, than I ever have before. I thought that I would be able to cope better, since I started getting help, but I was wrong. Quite frankly, it scares me.
I’m scared of the following things:
Beginning another depressive cycle
My girlfriend breaking up with me
Actually self-harming
People finding out that I have thought about this
Those same people judging me
Potentially being put into a mental institution
Attempting Suicide
Feeling like i have no one to turn to
I keep trying to change my thinking, but it’s hard. I don’t think I […]
I’ve never really seen the point of self harm, but a few days ago, I started biting my hand to take my mind off things. I could concentrate on the pain instead of worrying. It just occurred to me today that what I was doing was self harm. I never bite hard enough to draw blood, but hard enough to leave a red mark by the end of the day, and I can’t seem to stop. I know I should stop, but I don’t know how. I don’t want to be a burden on my friend anymore. He helped me when I was recovering from […]
My wrist lifelessly dangled off the edge of the porcelain tub; a stream of red tracing the lines on my hand. A pool of crimson waited below. The bath water looked like a distilled merlot. I lay silently, salty tears racing down my face. My mascara sat idly under my eyes tired of running. With the little will I had left, I turned my head to look at the self inflicted mutilations. The word “ Help†was carved into my soft, white, flesh. Under that, “Save ME†screamed for some attention, fresh blood still dripping down from the bottom of the E. My head jolted […]
1. So recently a girl who I saw at school for five months was killed… We hadn’t spoken in eight months…. I don’t know what to do. She was so bright and when ever I was around her I felt like it was okay to be myself because she was so accepting of me. Unlike other people in my past. But now she’s gone and I don’t know what to do. She was so beautiful and so amazing. I miss her so much and all I can say is heaven gained a beautiful angel that will be missed dearly.
2. I FREAKING RELAPSED! I hate […]
8th grade was when it all started. It started in the middle of that year. My dad & I were fighting. He told me that the reason he tried to kill himself was because of me. At that time I started to believe it was me cause of the way I treated him. His mental health issues at that time were up & down. In previous years he was overdosing with his prescription meds which led to him getting into a car accident with me & he also fell down the stairs. Some other things happened like he ran into a tree with […]
I never realised how much depression effected me and everyone around me until i experienced it first hand. i’ve suffered from depression for over a year and i used to self harm and now im left with embarressing scares that leave something for people to talk about. Im slowly getting better but easily go back into the dark hole for a ffew days where i cant even try to act happy. I recently had a fight with my mother who attempted to hit me which has shaken me up for the past few days and created my mood to very dark.
I want to tell […]
I want to kill myself. I want to be thin and beautiful and I don’t want to look like a piece of shit anymore I hate myself so much and it’s so overwhelming I just want to die its so tempting I just want to be skinny and pretty but I look like a fucking horse and I want to stop lying a to my shrinks. I don’t want to be fat anymore I just want to be perfect and skinny and never eat anything again
On some days I wished I never starting self-harming, but on other days I wished I never stopped
My name is Denise.
I am 17 years old.
I am a junior.
This is my story and the events that led me here.
I was born and raised in Texas. Honestly, I’ve been depressed as far back as I can remember. Sure I laughed and played like anyone else as a child, but there was a darkness I could feel consuming me as I grew up. When I progressed into middle school that’s when I began to let the darkness in. I was bullied.  I met girls who cut. And so I started to cut too. It felt good. I cut […]
after months of trying not to, remembering my old methods and giving in is nothing short of wonderful
i feel like i can breathe a little more when my arms are stinging
i feel euphoricÂ
but these little slices are nothing compare to how i used to gush
i am tempted