Why do we try? One swipe, one, stab, one shot and its over. No more hassles, no more fight, no more struggle. No more isolation, depression, desperation, no more thoughts. Just action, commitment, sacrifice. It would be worth it. I don’t want relief. I know I’ll never get it, why wishful think? I’m beyond relief. Relief is something thats there, yet out of reach. There is only numbness left for me, but even thats a feeling. So nothing would be better than this! Cause what we [at least I] have is worse than nothingness, worse than death! So, why try? When we could be dead […]
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A couple days ago. I haven’t cut in a couple months. I’ve going to most likely do it again. I want. Things I can’t have, things I can’t live without. I chose a long sleeve shirt for my job for a reason, I have to just hide it. I think about locking the store, drinking the night away, and just cutting myself till I bleed out in the store. I hope people try and rob me with a gun, so I can ‘do something stupid’ and get myself shot. I’m a coward, I can’t do it myself. I wish I dead. Or just. No I […]
Last week a man shot himself in the park in the exact same spot I was planning on doing it awhile ago, no one even knew his name. Wow that coulda been me a year ago
An old acquaintance of mine used to have a radio show and once in a while he would pull off a fake commercial and let the audience vote on whether or not they thought it was legit. One of my favorites was “Euthanasia Cruises”. For $2500 you could book passage on a luxury ocean liner that sailed out past the 20 mile limit. Then the passengers could do whatever they wanted for three days and nights – eat, drink, do drugs, have sex with each other – whatever they felt like doing and as much as they wanted. Then after the three days everyone gets […]
I have lost a wife, a son, a mother and most recently a soul mate. I’ve had severe depression for 6 years, for the last month I have done nothing but plan my exit.
I’ve had two attempts in the past, in 2009 I couldn’t step off a long drop hanging I had well researched and constructed, I just wasn’t ready to do it then. About 2 weeks ago I took an overdose of paracetamol which was unplanned and failed due to consuming a large amount of alcohol in a short space of time and vomiting undigested pills.
I have committed to ending my life but have […]
Hey girl.
This post is a complete long shot.
I’m just wondering if you’re still here somewhere?
I miss you.. and;
the girl interrupted
life sucks thin u die
deep abyss
hani3
tali
Please get in touch if you’re about.
She was little when it started, too little.
Is nine too little?
She was nine when it started.
She was sitting on the floor
Of her grand Dad’s mobile home
Thinkin and thinkin
She looked up and saw fields of grain fly by, and her one thought, her single thought was,
“Open it. Open the door, you could fly too.”
She got up, she jumped up, jumped. Lunged for the door, lunged for the handle.
Her breath shot out of her mouth, and she inhaled deep, deep, deep, until she choked on all the air.
She was little when it started, too little.
Is nine too little?
She […]
Ugh, seriously, fuck everyone. After years of not talking to anyone, I finally get to meet my old friends, and they treat me like shit. Fuck them, fuck you. You would probably treat me the same if you met me. Everyone is the same, why can’t everyone be nice like in those fairy tales? Well whatever, I don’t care. I won’t have to worry about that when I’m dead. I’m giving pill overdose another shot, hopefully it actually works this time. Goodbye, I’m dying.
I’ve experimented with a lot of substances in my life. Over the course of probably like 7ish years I’ve tried Psychedelics (LSD, 2CE, DMT – my FAVORITE DRUG), Cocaine, Benzodiazepines (Klonopin, Valium, Xanax, Restoril, Ativan), Stimulants (Amphetamines, Adderall, Focalin, Methylphenidate, Vyvanse), marijuana, alcohol, and the best of the best: opiates (OxyContin, heroin, hydrocoone, oxycodone, oxymorphone, hydromorphone, morphine, methadone, suboxone, subutex, etc.) – you get the point. For the most part I’ve been responsible with drug usage. Things never got out of hand and addiction was a foreign concept to me. But when shit hit the fan a few years ago, I lost all […]
The shooting today.. 20 kids dead… 6 adults it brought up so many memories, that may have even no relation.
First the shock that someone can hurt kids so innocent.. then i remember my past 2 people hurt me.. when i was so young.. to innocent to protect myself. At their entire control, my life was basically in there hands…
Then i thought of how these kids would suffer 5-10 years from now. Like i do today, the symptoms of my PTSD have cause severe depression, anxiety, insomnia, psudo siezures, multiple persanality disorder, and bipolar. I agree some of these may not have been a direct result, […]
It’s been almost three months since I almost suceeded killing myself. I had everything planned, right down to the bottom line. I had called to say goodbye to my mother and grandparents. They had no clue what was actually going on. They figured I was just saying goodnight like I do everynight. I was going to take the entire bottle of serious pain killers I had. I still had a small bit of doubt and I tried to cling to it. The pain became too real for me. And it grew steadily worse. I started cleaning my room up. Organizing everything. In my own sick […]
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