I’ve been having depression since the end of 6th grade. I’m now in 10th. I don’t take anti- depressants anymore because they don’t help. Let’s start with the fact that- my family is fucked up. My dad used to beat my mother infront of my brothers and I, and then a few months after, he just packed his things and left us. I haven’t seen him since. He’s a stranger to me – and even though I still have this despise towards him for hurting my mum, I miss having a dad role in my life. The other thing is – I’m overweight. I’m 5’3 […]
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Single Day
a year and a half ago, i stood on the train tracks awaiting death. however, two women pulled me off. i was instantly hospitalized. i spent a month there, between inpatient and outpatient care. before then, i was in my first real relationship. we’d been together for over a year and he would constantly tell me how he plans on proposing to me. i get that i shouldn’t have believed it, that I’m too young for talk like that…but it all felt so real. a month before the incident, i approached my boyfriend, explaining to him how i wanted to end my life. at first, […]
I just cant take living with my dad anymore. i thought that by moving with my mom things would get better. but as soon as i think things are blowing over. something els happens. It seems like i jus have nooooo out what so ever. im 15. but i’ve been through so much already. and nooo im not trying to tell you the same”dramatic” sad story. But everytime i get upset the only reasonable out that comes to mind is ending my life. i know that sounds crazy, but i have this thought almost every single day. and they think i want attention & i […]
Okay, well this is my story..
I’m quite young and I’m broken. I’m depressed and suicidal, clearly.. and i selfharm. I put on the fakest smile every single day. I’m miserable, I just want to be dead, to be free, to be happy. I have tried to take my own life many times, I don’t really have a massive story. But my depression has taken over me, my self eestem is horrible, I can’t leave the house without crying, I’m horribly fat and aswell so ugly. I hate leaving the house because I usually don’t have the nicest clothes because i’m not rich, my family struggles […]
well last night i lost it and dumped the rest of my pills down my throat…i wish i were like the restof youwhere i could drone on and make some huge intresting explaination about what happened but i cant…i feel like a real ass not expressing my issues because now you guys think i make them up right? Well here goesmy explaination:you dont know how it feels to wake up everyday and be drowned wit annoying bothersome voices and demons who leap onto you and rip your soul out! You dont know how it feels to always long for suicide, to always look down at […]
I’ve never really set goals for myself…mostly because since I was 14 I have always seen myself commiting suicide at a young age and dying young. I fight every single day not to kill myself because it just seems like my destiny…..
Recently I have been thinking a lot about my situation and what could have helped me not turn out this way. I realize that a lot of my behaviors are because of the abuse of my childhood. I have spent many years thinking that i was defective, crazy, beyond help and basically just irreversibly fucked up. I know that other people feel that way. […]
Ok. So my step dad is taking my little twin sisters.. Just when we started becomming a real family again.. Jade os okay with it.. She wants to but Brianna is unsure. How is a child sopossed to choose between her mom and sister and he twin sister. God im so scared.. Everythings falling apart.. My mom is becomming depressed.. My depression is getting worse.. It doesnt help that my step dad is addicted to the computer.. He cant even cook himself a meal.. He is late for work EVERY SINGLE DAY. He wont be able to get up and get my sisters to school.. […]
Do you know what its like to look in the mirror and hate what you see? Do you know what its like to live your whole life the laughing stock of society? Do you know what its like to go through life hating yourself, but knowing that you can’t do anything to change yourself? Have you ever been about to take your own life, all because of the way you look? Do you have that red scar on your left arm because you know that you’ll end up cold and alone? Do you know what its like to plan your own death, just because you’re […]
I spend every second of every single day trying to make sure that I am “skinny”. I don’t even want to be like.. anorexic. I just want to have a little skin on my belly. I used to be that, but due to high amounts of stress POOF! There goes my cute little body. I hate looking into the mirror. I wish I could erase what I see. I eat only smart ones, healthy choice, special K, or salad. Literally, this is it. I work out three to four times a week from thirty minutes to an hour. I swear I do not cheat on […]
Before I start, I am a girl. Fifteen.
Everybody thinks that ‘oh your just a teenager, it’s hormones.’
No. It really isn’t.
I have noticed something, something that many people seize to notice. People are just slaves. We are slaves to everybody around us. Slaves to the people that influence us and control us. Governments make the rules, we follow, simple. If we choose to use our life how we want, we are punished. Free country? I think not. Â People see suicide as being such a bad thing, they are always going on about how ‘omg suicide is selfish and terrible.’ No, it really is not. If it […]
Ive been trying to get help from my so called friends for so long but its useless. Im pretty sure I just lost one by telling her about being suicidal. She told me she couldnt take the stress I was giving her and that I was burdening her with my depression. I have like three friends now and I feel horrible for messing up someone’s life with my problems. I dont get it, I thought when you needed help you were supposed to be able to ask your friends for it. So here I am in my downward spiral with its ever increasing slope, I […]
my name is not that important but just for making it more human, it may be jeriko.
i constantky since years like with something i call “the dark”.
the dark is that part of me that constantly arise rage, hate and will of suicide … and for what i know he has a plan.
first he made me break with some friends, thne made me deaf to listening suggestions, then he isolated myself from reality.. and i guess that now reached its ultimate target, unlock all “breaks” that keep a normal person from doing stupid things.
i call them stupid but not as disrespect, but […]
I just can’t do this anymore! Every single day my urge to kill myself gets stronger, all the pain just keeps building up and I can’t take anymore and I break down. I have nothing and no one. The only person who ever understood me passed away a few weeks ago and all I want is to join him. I have been trying so hard for three years to turn my life around but it’s only gotten worse. Every night I cry myself to sleep because I’m scared, scared to wake up the next day to even more pain and confusion. I’m terrified of myself, […]
things are so messed up.. when you post something to try and help people and only get negative comments and then you just want to take it down.. so you do..
things are so messed up.. when you meet someone and they lead you on and they flirt and they say they only want to be with you.. then they tell you they have a girlfriend and wont talk to you again..
things are so messed up.. when your only way of coping is through cutting and pain.
i fake a smile every single day, and the moment where it slips, and  im questioned, i panic and say […]
I hope nobody i know ever see it, and i hope that feeling will vanish soon.
But, it’s hard. Living unhealthy, unhappy, and lonely.Waking up, knowing the difficulties waiting ahead, the lack of stimulation, ….the limitations that my health imposes me.
Spending too much time at the hospital, in need to be fixed. Can i return that broken body of mine? I wish.
When i feel out of breath, when i can’t take it, i think of going, leaving, you know? Dying.
It’s not as i wanna take my life. It’s a feeling of…expecting, hoping, not to wake up .Wishful thinking.
Will my heart give up now? Tomorrow? Tic tac, […]
all my life i have contemplated suicide, and imagined how much better off i’d be.. i really feel as if it cant be normal to wish you weren’t alive every single day of your life. with only a few half-ass attempts, i really need to ‘grow the balls’ now. believe me, i have tried all the outs. this earth just isn’t the place for me. it never has been. i am now facing serious prison time. and with a few county stays under my belt, i know that it is not the place for me. being mental and suicidal i just can’t handle it. i […]
On one of the hottest days of August in the year of 1971, a fair Pitty Sweet made her red-carpet entrance into the world. The stories of a difficult birth were told for years, but one thing that was often mentioned was that young Pitty was born quite round.
Survey said she was so round that she could easily roll down the hill to the very bottom on her very own. Her mother insisted on red frilly dresses, but her grandmother not caring for the colour red, put brown dresses on her all almost every single day, and if anyone looked twice they might mistake […]
Hi.
Im Taegan.
Im a selfharmer. I really need help.
I dont know why god hasnt taken me yet, I have survided 2 diabetic coma’s , 3 three overdose’s and about 6 or 7 hospital visits from cutting my wrist in just about that right spot.
I have been called just about ever name in the book. I think I speak for everyone when I say this bullying needs to stop. I dont know why I am so suicidal. I shouldnt let this get to me. We shouldnt let this get to us. Whether youre gay,Bisexual,Lesbian .. or whatever you are. We are ALL human.<3 […]
I just can’t do this anymore. I’ve been depressed every single day since we broke up. It’s been two months now, and not a day goes by that I don’t think about her and regret everything I did wrong. I’m in love with her, and there’s nothing I can do about it. She is always on my mind, and I just can’t live this way. I wish things were different, I wish we never broke up, but we did, and it was all my fault. I really don’t want to wake up tomorrow. It just hurts too much. I love her with all my heart.
For so many years of my life, I’ve endured the constant feeling of sadness and feeling alone. Every day, progressively worse than the last. Then the day came where I met someone who gave me a breathe of fresh air in my life, and gave me a purpose and reason to live. How great it was to love something more than yourself. She lives 10 hours away, I sold everything I own in this world to go see her, I leave tomorrow.
But why is it I’m so close, but I feel so scared? I feel as though I’ve already lost her, and I haven’t even […]