I don’t care. About anything. About a single goddamn thing. I don’t fucking care. Why do you care so much? I’m not a nice person. I’m not even all that interesting. I don’t hate myself, per se. I just don’t care.
Tag:
single
have you ever noticed that we suffer only when we know that “We” are suffering. you wanna own suffering, just like you wanna own anything else. oh this feeling of existing, of being alive is great, so tempting that one is ready to give his life for it. oh the lust of life! in me these two desires keep fighting simultaneously – to get into life (and thus suffer) and to get out of it. i have no reason to choose the former one, not a single reason, and yet somehow that lust is so much that i give in to it. i know a […]
I know there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, but the tunnels’ collapsed, and I don’t have the strength to dig my way through it. tell me it’ll stop hurting one day. tell me there’s even a reason to try. tell me i just need to think more positive when the only way out of this is a sheer cliff coated in barbed wire. and before you try to tell me that it’s not that bad, *yes, it fucking is*. I’m not an idiot. This feeling isn’t new. I have looked at all the options and all the paths ahead of me and […]
I want to erase every single trace of my existence.
Goodbye friends and people I may not know but I will be here if you need to speak just email me at melissawitch@hotmail.co.uk I will try my hardest to help you all out no matter what just give me that email and I will be here for you even if you want to rant at me I will listen to you and be here and any problems just tell me I know how depression is and loosing someone dearly to you but I must leave this site sorry to say I love this site and all the people on here the makers and the people […]
Don’t read this if you don’t want to, you probably have better things to do.
I’m a 15 year old boy. I haven’t been diagnosed with depression but it’s not necessary. I’ve been depressed since I was 11. I started cutting a year ago. I feel worthless and alone all the time.
It was when I was 11 that I found out how easy is for people to use you when they need something and then forget you immediately. It was when I was 12 that I found out how your “friends” talk shit about you at your back and criticize you in your face. People […]
We knew each other for six years before we got into a relationship that lasted nearly three years because even though things seemed to get better, exactly one week ago she pulled the trigger. Now the same question keeps on repeating itself over, over and over again: “Why?â€.
Before you all start commenting on why I didn’t help her, let me first make a couple of this things clear! Even before we got into a relationship I knew she was struggling with herself. She had this image of herself not being beautiful, smart and thin enough.
I could see the pain in the eyes. She had a […]
I cannot stand to be a part of this.
Funny how the idea of attaining a single, semi-lasting lover-Â of true feeling- would immediately curb the romantic fantasy that I’ve of death.
I plan to hang from a tree in late May.
I am 15, I live in a house with my mum, my brother and my mothers partner, recently my mother had a baby, but that doesn’t sound so bad, however, earlier in life I was diagnosed with aspergers, and everything went to hell, this was before my mother met her partner, but anyway, after that I knew that I wouldn’t be able to have what every other teenager could have, and my mother seemed to know that too and is personally trying to ruin my life, ever since she heard that I was diagnosed she started treating me like a baby, I had less privileges […]
Okay so it’s late here and I’m wide awake, lying in bed and i’m unable to fall asleep.
I was doing okay today and then suddenly, at about midnight, it hit me again. The sadness and emptiness and pain, everything just hit me again. How my brother is not here, in his room above me. And it’s still so unreal, still, after a year and a half. I still sometimes wonder if this isn’t just some nightmare. Because how can it be gone? How can a life that has been built up over almost 16 years be gone in 1 second? I just can’t wrap my […]
Seriously, only one single time, for Gods sake. I fucked up so much, I made way too many mistakes and I was too chicken to do things I should have done. I had enough chances to change something in my life and I took none. Not a single fucking chance. I guess I deserve to be here after all.
What if I finally decided to leave you behind?
What if you searched for the answers but a single note was the only thing that you could find?
What if you knew that we were coming to an end but did nothing to make me stay?
What if you were one of the many reasons I decided to go away?
What if one day you saw me hanging around, only a corpse of the woman I used to be?
Would you finally stop for a second and pay attention to me?
Would you call to me?
Would you reach out to me even though it’s clear to see
That I no longer belong […]
I am where you are right now and have tried too end it and probably won’t stop trying but just remember that there are others like you. You are not alone, I’m not going too tell you that you are going too get better and that life will be fine. It never gets better and probably never will. Just remember that you are not alone and maybe just maybe you can do what I can’t and take solace in the fact that you are just a single person but you have an army of people just like you behind you.
She was little when it started, too little.
Is nine too little?
She was nine when it started.
She was sitting on the floor
Of her grand Dad’s mobile home
Thinkin and thinkin
She looked up and saw fields of grain fly by, and her one thought, her single thought was,
“Open it. Open the door, you could fly too.”
She got up, she jumped up, jumped. Lunged for the door, lunged for the handle.
Her breath shot out of her mouth, and she inhaled deep, deep, deep, until she choked on all the air.
She was little when it started, too little.
Is nine too little?
She […]
I do not know where to start.
my soul is like a single dark room. How can I escape this pain?
it empties all of the energy and desire to live. I do not know why everything in my life to be so negative? it’s like a tunnel with no light just me and myself, with no way to change, only a single path. in between I see a faint light shining faintly, only to discover that it is just a small crack in the wall before the track goes straight into the deep dark.
Is suicide the only resolution?? I have endured this pain for […]
I can’t even type everything that’s going on with me. It doesn’t help me to tell people what’s going on. Unless you have about $2000 that you’re willing to donate me, and possibly a guaranteed job in Houston for my fiancee…there’s no help for me. Nothing has got better since the last few posts on here. I constantly think of suicide. Every single day I have at least one suicidal thought. I don’t know what to do. There’s nothing I can do, and no reason to fight for life anymore. I can’t say that I’ll kill myself. I thought I certainly would the last few […]
I mean, I may have friends. Maybe people out there care for me, but I’m very overhelmed by sadness that I can’t see it, or believe it. Still, being with my “friends” is nothing, I feel alone with them, I feel alone without them… I’m such a mess. I don’t deserve these people. Some care on their own different way, but I can’t see it. I sound like an attention seeker don’t I? I’m not. Seriously.
Still, every single person I have met has hurt me in one way or another. Maybe I’m too sensible. I don’t know. I’m a goddamn disaster. I feel worthless. […]
I love nights, and I love dreaming. I dont give a fuck that dreams are illusions, they make me feel happy for a few hours. But why in hell do I have to wake up every single time? I am finally feeling great, as if depressions were over and a new chapter in my life has begun; and then BAAAM. Reality punches me straight in the face. “You actually thought you could ever be happy? HAHAHA, forget it.” As if it had the plan to let me feel how great my life could be only to destroy all my hopes in a single second.
Reality is […]
She’s in a Forrest, stripped and scared
walking on the bones of  people, who cared.
Spinning around in circles, she finds herself alone
running away from the thought, that she’s now on her own
A job well done, she’s killed everyone around
now she’s begging to just hear a  single sound
sticks may break, and stones may fall
but with the wounds in tact, she might as well crawl
No road to be found, No people to save
and they told her if she didn’t stop, she would be digging her own grave.
but she didn’t listen  and she didn’t care
now she was wishing, everybody was […]
“There’s so much I could be doing.
So much that I want to do—even if I don’t know what it is that I want to produce.
But I can’t go faster than I’m already going and I’d rather die than stop but… where else is there to go?
I’m so… so scared of lying still and yet too mortified to switch gears.
Now all I do is linger.
In bed.
At the dinner table.
In the shower.
Everything happens but me.
And if it keeps up, I’m going to die this way… having gone in every direction
—but not having reached a single finishing line.”