“There’s so much I could be doing.
So much that I want to do—even if I don’t know what it is that I want to produce.
But I can’t go faster than I’m already going and I’d rather die than stop but… where else is there to go?
I’m so… so scared of lying still and yet too mortified to switch gears.
Now all I do is linger.
In bed.
At the dinner table.
In the shower.
Everything happens but me.
And if it keeps up, I’m going to die this way… having gone in every direction
—but not having reached a single finishing line.”
2 comments
The end destination isn’t important, its the journey that takes you there that counts. You’ve got to stop pushing yourself to go faster, every person travels at their own pace, you need to learn to be content with the speed and allow yourself to go on whatever path feels right, regardless of the end destination, you just have to trust you will end up where you need to be eventually, the harder you push yourself to reach your destination the more your going to miss on the way. Then your going to be at your end point and realise you missed out on alot because you were so intent on reaching a goal. You need to take a step back, chill and take in the scenery on your path in life. You will get where your going when your good and ready, why not enjoy the trip?
The problem is, you can’t even start living until you get to a destination where you can.
If that destination wasn’t important, everyone would be able to “truly live,” by simply altering their attitude. But altering your attitude isn’t going to change the expectations and standards of others. Most of the stuff worth living for, is gated behind the approval of others. If you can’t get to the destination (one of many) where their approval is granted, you’ll never be able to access anything for which their approval is a prerequisite.
And even still, there are many other destinations prior to that, which must first be reached, before you can even begin to work toward qualifying yourself as eligible for participation in a flourishing life.
We’re all expected to “put out;” it’s not just females, and it’s not just sex. Everyone demands we “produce” something “useful” or appealing to others, according to their own values and valuation paradigms.
So if you’re not able to “put out” what people want… you won’t be able to advance to the destinations from which a worthwhile life can be launched.