damn its getting so bad. Does anybody feel like theyr so pissed at themselves, at the way they are, that you just want to hurt yourself? Lately its like I find any excuse to bleed or bruise. punching things cutting ‘accidentally’… I can’t even escape in my slee, I have nightmares I try and kill myself but I won’t die. And I wake up with scratches on my arms from my sleep…. And sadly the most important person never even notices… I feel like I can’t even talk to her because she’ll be pissed….. Were best friends, inseperable and yet she doesn’t ask what’s wrong… […]
Over the last 3 or 4 years, I have been sinking further into despair. I am now at a point where I am ready to exit. The times I have been most at peace over the last few years have generally been when I have been sleeping; I figure that a sleep where I never wake up would be a good thing. I know this might sound like a First World Problem, but my descent began when I got made redundant during the GFC. Since then, I have had to take jobs that have paid less, and also had to use up all of my savings during […]
HAd a rough night last night. I cannot wait for the battle to just end. But while I’m here it just takes away all my energy and all my strength. I’m not hungry though i at smoething small. I’m not really thirty. I’m just so very tired. So very empty and tired. I feel like a rock that sits on the rviver bed but the strong current can’t move me no matter what. I just need to go back to sleep and see if this is finally the time I will be allowd to leave. Rest my head on this pillow and just dream. Just […]
Go to sleep and close your eyes,
And dream of broken butterflies
That tore their wings against a thorn.
You know the pain that they have endured
Silver metal
Shine so bright
Scarlet blood
That feels so right.
Dream of that blood trickling down,
And wake up just before you drown.
The moonlight shining off your tears
As you bleed out your worst fears
So tonight when you start to cry
Whisper the cutters lullaby:
Hushabye baby,
Your almost dead you don’t have a pulse
And your pillow is red.
Your family hates you
Your friends let you bleed
Sleep tight with a knife,
Cause its all that you need.
Rockabye baby,
Tonight, I broke down. It has been almost a month since I began recovering from a yearlong eating disorder that destroyed my life. No therapist, no support from family, just me. It is the hardest thing I have ever done, but I am still going strong. Some moments are good, some are terrible. Tonight was just awful, I couldn’t get myself together. I was sobbing because I lost hope for half a second and I started thinking about everything. I just felt so alone.  I pulled myself together and knew I was going to be okay, sometimes we all fall apart. So at the same […]
My name is will and im 21 years old, born and raised is leicester-England.
I have been signed up to this site for a long time as i found strength from it, so many people have vented their frustration and the Samaritans or people who have been through and recovered from the same type of problems have ansered….in the past few months i have found streanth in this but now i am fucked.
i m sick of the anxiety i cannot be around people let alone make friends i cut myself daily even though i find it pathetic and stupid.
my dad is a misogynist who beat his wife and kids, which made […]
Wake up.  Go to work/school.  Come home.  Go to sleep.   Wake up.  Go to work/school.  Come home.  Go to sleep.   Wake up.  Go to work/school.  Come home.  Go to sleep.   Wake up.  Go to work/school.  Come home.  Go to sleep.   Wake up.  Go to work/school.  Come home.  Go to sleep.   Wake up.  Go to work/school.  Come home.  Go to sleep. Â
Enough.  There is simply no point.  No joy, no happiness.  Just existance.  Breathing.  Wasting space.
Enough already. I am sick of breathing for no purpose.
what do you do when you can’t take it anymore. You have people willing to help but because they probably tired of hearing it. And what can they do to help? Its not a quick fix. What do I do, when I have a best friend. And shes not a normal best friend, shes like a sister, but more. Someone I love more than anything in the world. Someone Im there for all the time and the only reason im here right now is because I love her to much to let her go. Selfish in a way I guess. But even tho she means […]
Before you decide to take your life, imagine who will find you. Imagine them walking into a room, and seeing you just hanging there. Whether it be your little sister, little brother, mother father, grandparents, a friend. Imagine what will happen when they find you. No, they will not say “Finally, they’re gone.†No, they will not say “I’m happy they did that.†No, they will not say “I never loved them anyways.†They will die. Their hearts will break. They will hurt, more than you […]
I’ll start from the beginning. I had a close, dear friend basically called him my brother. Xain, he was always there for me through thick and thin and would fight tooth and nail to keep me happy. He fell in love with me(this isn’t the root of the story) and I told him how i felt but kept him as a friend none the less and let him flirt how he wants. He was wiccan and openly gay, as a christian who was raised to love all I judged him not. He was adopted from Ireland when his druggie of a mother had him hooked […]
Last night i cried myself to sleep.I’ve been hurt so much.Being in middle school has not been the funnest of times because “my friends” bullied me so bad to the point i wanted to kill myself.I still remember that day and how i ran to a ditch and sat hoping somebody would kill me.But when that failed i did a pill overdose. That did nothing too. I prayed and prayed and prayed and asked god why he was doing this to me?! no reply. That same day i walked to my mom’s job as i do everyday.I walked onto her school campus,knowing in my heart […]
There was a moment in my life, where I stopped wanting things, stopped loving things,I just feel empty, joyless and disappointed.
Nothing seems to fulfill the void in my heart. Where you just can’t move forward, you stop walking, watch everyone move on and leave you behind and you’re just standing there, waiting for nothing.
The pain grows and you can’t even look back nor go ahead in your life. its seems as if you want to understand what you want, where are you going first, and you look at everyone, they don’t care, they just want to level up, and i wonder, do they even know […]
So to to make it as short as i can..im a 15 year old girl living in a tiny town out in the middle of no where, i have a few friends that are close..but i just finished my freshmen year, and im back almost all my credits because i missed to much school, when i used to get straight A’s the middle school.. because i couldnt even handle getting out of bed everyday, and facing all those happy people, with there boyfriends and girl friends, and there cute clothes, which i cant get only because my size..and all my friends seem to have boyfriends […]
She’s upset,
Bad day,
Heads for the dresser drawer to drive the pain away,
Nothing good can come of this,
She opens it, there’s nothing,
There is only leftover tears,
Mum and Dad have no right she screams,
Anger runs down both of her cheeks.
Then she closed her eyes,
Found relief in a knife,
The blood flows as she cries.
All alone the way she feels,
Left alone to deal with,
All the pain drenched sorrowed relief,
Bite the lip just forget the bleeding.
And then she closed her eyes,
Found relief in a knife,
The blood flows as she cries.
Then she closed her eyes,
Found […]
well im a thirty three year old single man who has no real friends,i did not go to the military and i did not go to a four year college after highschool,as a matter of fact i dropped out of highschool, i got a GED and i went to community college,ive have been in and out of school for the past 14 years……whats worse is that i became a recluse christian type of person when i was in my best years nineteen through twenty-one,i started trying to live at twenty-six years old after being into a repressive christian life and i traded my sense of […]
Ok it’s 2 am and I can’t sleep. Not only that, I know this feeling, the way my body feels when it’s starting one of those two-three week periods of time where I will not get any sleep… My most depressed moments… This is the first night of this one I have probly at least 2 weeks and no one I know is up at this hour and I’m so lonely and bored it hurts…Â Tired, lonely, bored, missing my razor… So if anyone at all wants to talk I’m here. or you can text me
Hey, so I guess the title says it all. I am fucked up. And I’m only 11. I started noticing that I was anorexic when I was 8, I didn’t like eating. I never knew why, and I’m still suffering anorexia… this month has been one of the worst. First of I lost and amount of weight (im underweight), so then I can’t see my only true love, and he hasn’t texted nor call for about a week now. I don’t only suffer anorexia, but cutting, suicidal, and they say I have mental health problems as well. My cutting started in 4th grade, when my […]
So I pretty much have become tired of living my life. I feel
like a waste of space most of the time. After my Mom died and my Dad married my
step mom my life has changed drastically. It’s not that I don’t like my Dad; he
just doesn’t know how to deal with things himself. For example he goes out to
drink a lot and acts younger than his 17 year old daughter does. If he’s not
out he’s at work or in his room which leaves me with no choice but to sit in my
room all day. I have quite a few […]
DON’T END YOUR LIFE , DON’T GIVE UP , REACH OUT TO ME.
Before you decide to take your life, imagine who will find you. Imagine them walking into a room, and seeing you just hanging there. Whether it be your little sister, little brother, mother father, grandparents, a friend. Imagine what will happen when they find you. No, they will not say “Finally, they’re gone.†No, they will not say “I’m happy they did that.†No, they will not say “I never loved them anyways.†[…]
Im just so depressed I can’t get out of bed today nor can I sleep. I want to get up its just I feel like I have no use for it
Tomorrow I’m going to my friends..the first time since I got on my meds. She knows about them and so does get mom but I’m still nervous about taking it just because I try to keep it hidden.