There’s more to it but i don’t have the fucking energy

My name is will and im 21 years old, born and raised is leicester-England.

I have been signed up to this site for a long time as i found strength from it, so many people have vented their frustration and the Samaritans or people who have been through and recovered from the same type of problems have ansered….in the past few months i have found streanth in this but now i am fucked.

i m sick of the anxiety i cannot be around people let alone make friends i cut myself daily even though i find it pathetic and stupid.

my dad is a misogynist who beat his wife and kids, which made my sister take the wrong road in life its bad enough shes a prostitute but when we were young me being about 11 and her about 14, she tell me about every sexual encounter she had. i was too young to tell her to shut ther fuck up…i was too young to recommend the right help. my dad introduced me to aggressive drinking my sister introduced me to x, weed and coke. my mum is a psychiatrist but her logic was to stay out the way and let me do what i want. i snorted coke with my mum uncle and sister when i was 15 laughing about a white chrismas.

i loved how passive my parents were with me and my sister but now i think about suicide dayly iv tried anti deprssants they are ment to work after two weeks but afer a week of the side affects things are so fucked up i come of them to avoid getting worse and it does get better when i stop.

my girlfriend has stuck with me through all this bullshit but i found out yesterday she went back to her home town and fucked some random guy an hour after i text her saying “i love you good night”

FUCK EVERYONE AND EVERY THING I AM FUCKING DONE ANXIETY BULLSHIT CANNOT EVEN SPEAK WHEN THERE’S MORE THAN TWO PEOPLE AROUND CANNOT SLEEP CANNOT TAKE TAKE A SHOWER TOO MUCH TIME TO THINK