More often than not, I think about what really drives me to wake up every morning. Is it the fact that my mom, a beautiful image of a once glamorous singer, wakes me up to kiss me and bring me breakfast in bed every morning? Is it my adorable boyfriend who still spits the image of an angelic baby, yet strikes me as a mature young man? Is it the compliments I get from my teachers each time a class would end? I really don’t know. All I know is that I haven’t really been happy. For the past year, I’ve woken up to the […]
I know that there are so many people that have problems way worse than mine. So, please don’t judge me..
Lately, i’ve been thinking about suicide. I guess I haven’t done it yet because I’m weak and a coward.
My parents are getting a divorce after 15 years. That’s my age. It really is my fault becuase if my mom hadn’t been pregnant with me, they wouldn’t have been miserable for the last 15 years in a marriage that fell apart.
I just started a new school, moved to a new house. I’m a sophomore. On May 20, 2012 one of my bestfriends got in a wreck and […]
I still love her.. Its been several months yet I can’t stop thinking about her, I still talk to her everyday but I just smile and tell her I’m happy for her because I just want her to be happy.. But inside I wanna die.. I still cut myself regularly, think about suicide everyday, and its killing me, I can’t talk to anybody, I’m alone, I have so much self hatred for letting things happen the way they did, for letting her go, she was the only one who got me,, and I let her go,,, when we see each other she pretend not to […]
HELLO, my name is teela i am 18 years old and currently i am a suicide survivor…….ive attempted suicied numerous times..well im on here because in my defense i didnt have anybody to talk to like call or shoot a tex to and say hey this is whats happening……i may not be able to give u every reason to not kill your self but i sure can give u every reason to make you wanna live im from a small town and im about to finish up high school…every since ive been in school nothing but bullying has tooken my place…ive been raped…beaten and everything […]
I don’t want to come back. Chat room is mentally destroying me.. And I don’t even come here much anymore. The Suicide Project is dying out.. And me? Well, I was just one of the many members. If you have taken the time to read this, Thank you. You are probably one of the very few left trying to keep the Suicide Project torch burning. Good luck… People need this place.
But me? Well, People always say.. There is no such thing as a happy ending. I guess this is the end of my story.. :'( It’s been Interesting though, I guess. Met some amazing people..
Orangish, For one. […]
Hey there guys…its me again…well today started out bad and hasn’t got much better really on the bright side dad had to leave for school today and wont be back till at least Tuesday or Wednesday, but he couldn’t leave on a good note. He had to tell me i was a lazy useless fat ass so i’ve decided until i get down to a better weight today was my last time eating. I’m sick of his mouth i’m sick of living in this house and having to have a worthless father who i feel like doesn’t want me here anyway. On another note mom did […]
I wear a smile well, it’s my best accessory
I do it because I know it’s necessary
Behind the smile it’s revealed I’m dying inside
And it’s amazing the world buys all the lies.
Nobody will ever know
That the pain doesn’t let me go
It will haunt me until the day I die
I don’t want my tears to stain the world outside.
Trapped in a world I’m not good enough for
What am I still doing here?
Only in death will I find some of bliss
I know that I won’t be missed.
I’m young. 14.
FUCK?! A 14 year old wanting to die already?! Damn…
Well… Lets see if you still think that after this; …
I was 3. My dad had walked out on my mum. She had me, and two other kids, Older than me. Both different dads to me. Mum had to work 12 hours a day, So my older brother and sister would go to their own aunties/uncles house while she worked, And I would go to mine. My mum chose the wrong uncle. Alan. Even the name… Ugh! Anyway… I’d be there with my cousin, Jay. Who was my other uncles son, […]
I’m a 19 y/o girl who has done amazing things in life. People have told me this. I don’t feel amazing though. Yeah, I play the drums, attend culinary school, I’m known as the “church girl”. I never miss mass. Everyone see’s me with a smile. I don’t even want to smile. I’ve attempted suicide 3 times and no one knows that. I just saw a picture of someone with another person. Something I always was afraid of seeing. Someone who I gave my whole heart to…someone who I loved and cherished so much. I truly never got over this person. This is only part […]
I just want to be held. is that to much to ask? i try to hold everything in but somehow i can never move on from my past. the aching i feel through my body and the tears that are stained on my face are like tatoos that can never be erased. i try to smile and say i will be okay but why do i lie i guess im trying to hide from my mistakes. the blood that comes down my leg. hoping that doing this will make my pain go away. but only for awhile. when am i going to change?
I have never posted here before although I have been reading what others say for a while. I dont ever talk to the people in my life about emotions, feelings or anything else that I keep buried deep down inside myself in order to get through the day.
I have friends. I have friends that I never talk to, and friends that I talk to about small trivial things that are unimportant to me but I deem to be considered normal by society. Its important to me that I blend in and that no one notices that something is wrong. If people knew that something is […]
I’ve felt like this for many years. Right now I’m on the precipice of a major change in my life, one that will basically cast me out into the world. Unlike some of the others here, I have people who profess to being in ‘my corner’. But I realise that ultimately that’s all a sham. They can’t really do much for me because this thing stems from inside. It’s been described as screaming into the void or staring at the abyss. I choose neither. All I feel is empty, empty all the time. When I’m around people I feel empty. When I’m alone I feel […]
Why not stand up for yourself?
Obviously we are all on this site for a reason.
Why not stand up to our problems?
brush it all off.
Stand tall.
Smile.
Be happy.
No matter how hard your problems may be.
You can still stand tall and show people what your made of!
People don’t control your emotions.
You do.
Don’t let people bring you down.
Just stand up for yourself.
I think I could be crazy,
I just might be insane,
I don’t exactly know why,
But now,
Life’s a game.
I make all the rules
But still I never win,
Though I take the heavy losses
With a smile,
With a grin:
I can see the pieces falling,
The deck is shuffled once again,
The other players all are stalling; everyone wants to win.
In boardgames, though,
A winner can only be one;
And that takes away all the smiles,
All the laughs,
All the fun.
Some people fall to cheating,
Or resort to plain dumb luck,
Though no matter what they’re feeding
Their desire to come out […]
   Today, one of the worst days of my life. It well.. started yesterday. Me and my boyfriend had an argument. Turns out he doesnt trust me. This is the second time he thinks im cheating on him! Anyways, we were talking..them came the yelling, and well then nothing. He left. Just like that. So today, at school i tried to talk to him, say sorry. But he would ignore me the whole time. I ended cutting again… Its been like 2 weeks that i havent cut until today..at school. I guess i needed it again. To help me take my mind off things. and […]
My brother went to prison for selling herion, he used it himself too. He was so messed up. For two fucking years. I was 9 when he started using, I didnt know what was going on. But when I was 11 he went to prison, my mom sat me down and told me what was going on. I cryed legitamently for 2 weeks. I skipped school for 2 weeks. I was so scared and I just didnt know what to do. It deffinitly made me change, it made my whole family change. My parents have to raise one of his kids and his wifes parents […]
 Anyone can smile after being through so much, after bring pushed down so many times, after shedding millions , and millions of tears.
So I was going to to homecoming with this one girl. She does go to a different school so I had to do all this bullshit paper work so she could go and get it approved by her school. SO after that was all out the way I bought the ticket. I told her and she said okay. Then ignores me the whole week! Homecoming was last night. But Friday at school I decided to not take her but take a really close friend of mine.
So I bought my friend her ticket and she was SOO excited. I was to I mean really we both […]
someone once told me
“youe need to be selfless and put on a smile and pretend your ok because everything you do efects the people you love and the people around you”
so thats what ive been doing my entire life hiding my pain my regret my longing everything i dnt smile anymore at least not a real smile or a real laugh
i thought he was the only one who cared because he understood but i guess i was wrong
my parents both told me they didnt want me living with eather of them
yes im lost and i dnt think ill ever be found
im surounded by darkness but i […]