No one wants to be friends with a person that has hideous scars, or wears long sleeves all the time, or that enjoys rainy, gloomy days like me. My depression kills people. But i wouldnt be so depressed if I had friends. Someone that actually understands my pain..nobody wants to be friends with a girl that prefers the color black or that wants to stay in and watch movies. Nobody wants to be friends with that girl..that sits alone at the lunch table..waiting to breathe..waiting for someone to ask if the seat across from her is taken. No one wants to be friends with the girl […]
Tag:
Smile
I don’t really have much to say. I am just so sick and tired of everything ._.
I feel like I have no friends, they all ditched me the other day and I was just left somewhere alone with nothing to do and no way home. It was nice.
I have 2 best friends, and they’re both currently in different time zones. One is in Spain, 9 hour time difference. And the other is is New York, 3 hour time difference. They are never awake at the same time as me and it’s just hard to have someone to talk to, when they’re always too […]
You know what? Its spring motha-fukin break, and I might as well enjoy it cause its gonna be my last. I wanna leave those around me with atleast one good memory. i owe them that much. in somewhere around thirty days, ill be dead. Hopefully. So self loathing is gonna take a back seat while i put a smile on my damn face and act like im normal. Normal…why cant i be normal?? Why? Why? WHY? to many fucking questions and absolutely no answers.
Goodnight/Morning and the best to you all
I sit here and all I feel is pain
wanting to cut and make my wrists rain
make them rain with blood. I get no love
I sit in my room all alone, me and my pain
pain is all I feel, pain is all I know
Noone will ever know how I feel, or what Im going through
when you smile and laugh, but you know it’s just a show
Im the only one to blame for a meaningless life
so I sit in my room alone, just me and this knife
not wanting to take my life, just leaving a lifetime scar
a […]
I can’t keep this up. I always fall for the wrong guys and I’m starting to hate myself. I hate the way I’m too nice. I hate the way all I want is attention and I work so hard for them to notice me and they don’t.. I hate everything. I hate my body. I hate my smile. I hate my laugh. I hate everything.
No one knows how badly I wish I could be normal. I wish I didn’t have trouble with bullies. I wish everyone treated me the way I treat them. I am a very nice girl, probably the nicest you’ll ever meet. But all people see is someone who is different. Someone who sticks out because they aren’t skinny. I’m intelligent. A straight A student. I am nice to everyone, even people who bully me. I put others before myself and I hide my pain behind a smile. And these are the thoughts I have:
Just one more cut. It’s not like anyone notices.
If I died, who […]
I’m…I don’t know what I am. Depressed? Bipolar? According to a medical diagnosis, probably not. I’ve read stories on here that speak of not being able to even get up in the morning, who can’t find the will to do anything. I, however, get up, I go to school, put on a smile, talk to people, act normal. Inside, I’m a complete mess. School is like my own personal hell. I really don’t have friends. I’m so alone and yet surrounded by people. I hate life. I want to die. God, how I just want to end this torture. There are some days I actually […]
I hate feeling the way that ”we” do. I hate feeling so sad and lonely all the time. I hate having to pretend all the time, transforming myself into someone else in order to “fit in” and be liked. I just want to let it all out, let the darkness take over and let the world see how depressed and messed up i really am.
I was raped many times by my older brother when i was younger. But i was so young that i didn’t know what rape was, and so i i thought it was okay what my brother made me do and […]
My tears are gone,
I have spent so much time filling the ocean,
So that the seven seas,
Become eight.
Who can answer me better than me,
I don’t know how to shout,
So instead I love myself,
Because who else would do it?
I have this infatuation,
And it whispers salvation,
Because I can’t save myself unless I am saving others,
So when my job is done,
Saving becomes a distant plan,
My brain has had time to breathe,
But how did I know that it would be snuffed in the fumes of carbon monoxide and failure,
I am high on disappointment,
Have you ever felt like Peter Pan?
I once flew to Netherland,
And it was there where I learned the […]
Hi,
I’m Arnaud and I’m 20 years old.
If you ask me what I think about my life I can only say that it sucks. I don’t know what to do.
Most people see me as a happy person with lots of humor, a nice smile and lots of friends. That’s nice because it is exactly what I want to show to my friends and family. I don’t want them to worry for me because I know they can’t do anything to help me.
When people ask me questions like: “what is your goal in life?†or “what is your biggest dream?†I reply: “buying an Island in the […]
I have been alive for a little over 15 years  now.  I’ve laughed countless times, smiled the majority of my life, and cried when it seemed appropriate.  Yet I’ve rarely done any of these with emotion.  I’ve been alive for over a decade and a half but I can’t think of a single time when I was truly living.
I started to realize that I was empty, and that emptiness was suffocating.  It was a tangible force, crushing me to the ground like gravity.  I wanted to feel something…  maybe love or at even agony, just anything but this hollowness inside of me.  I want to be able to […]
There are more dead people than living. And their numbers are increasing. The living are getting rarer.
To die will be an awfully big adventure.
Death As a dark Shadow Beckons his prey Into the unknown By a soft whisper In the soul
In every shadow a light
In every tear a smile
In death I know there is still life that lingers for a while.
Death is just a chapter of a book that never ends.
Thank you for readin
This year and last year have been hard.
I found out a couple of  horrible things about my birth parents and family.
I’ve spiraled down ever since that and I’ve relapsed with cutting.
I’m extremely insecure and I hardly ever go out in public except for school.
I’m a shy, secretive person.
It’s hard for me to stick up for myself.
I let people take advantage of my kindness.
I hate how unassertive I am.
I bottle up my feelings because I can’t express them to people.
I’m ashamed of my scars.
I believe I’m too emotional at times.
I’m constantly down on myself because it’s normal for me.
At my old school I was on the swim […]
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I fucking live off coffee and cigarettes, to be honest i just don’t give a shit , thats deff another lie, affirmed by my predisposition to cry. I claim to be emotionless when really I’m overrun by it. You all see a smile, but not whats inside, its just a mask i use to hide. I’m giving you what you want, now its up to you to conceive, in reality it has nothing to do with me. Over the years I’ve grown to see , that you don’t want to […]
16 and on the verge of suicide, I’ve tried hanging myself before and that would of been the most exciting/scariest time of my life. I just wanted my life to be over, not only that it was scaring knowing I’d never be here again, but who wants to live life in constant misery. I just wish I could die, I feel like jumping in front of a train every time I sit and wait for the train every morning, I think one day I will actually do it, as I can no longer go on feeling the way I do. I’m done with everyone, and […]
you know when you feel lower than everyone? your grades are not that high that no one lets you take a decision because they think youre too young… that everyone around you is aloud to tell you what you shouldnt do or be or even like, while you arent aloud to discuse with them….I’m here … lying in my bed thinking again about suicide… yes im sick of life like everyone! i’ve started to think about suicide since 6th grade… now im in secondary 4 … in overall i have problemes everywhere… whatever i may do people around me get dissapointed and if i do […]
im only 11 and ive already had alot of suiside thoughts i feel useless to the world what the point of this everyone judges me and picks on me. resently my best friends mom died of colen cancer (RIP cythea curro) that brought me down i know if i comite suiside my bff will turn to it 2. im afraid of death, i never try and cut myself. my older brother is the worst, he tells me ill die a vergin he tells me ,”go to hell” “no one cares 4 u” he doesnt help. and just about a month ago my very 1st boyfriend […]
i didnt say i was a straight up g..
im not perfect you can think what you thik of me..
there is knobody i am trying to be ..
i am only my self and myself can see ..
that im looking at the clock and its 4:20
and its time to rip a toke of some nice weed
and its her only escape .. its how she copes..
she has a hard day and she rips another toke
it gives her a smile
a high for a while
a happy feeling you get but in denile
now listen up im on a mission
im gonna fix this situation
you better not be disrepsecting
me cuz i know im […]
To the people around me I’m just that average semi popular kid who has a lot of friends and is always smiling. If they only knew how much effort I have to use to pretend like I’m this happy person. When in reality all I think about is ending my life. I weigh 120 lbs I’m 5’7 and I’m almost 18. I’ve attempted suicide a couple times with no success, I don’t even know why I continue to live this miserable existence. I suffer from terrible anxiety, bi polar, and bpd. I’ve tried multiple medicines, years of therapy their isn’t much left to try. I […]
well the title says it all… today is a bad day for me….
its my ex boyfriend birthday, (hopefully everyone know already that we HAD to break up 🙁 )
2 weeks ago we broke up.
and if we were still together today would been 1 month,,
I’m just so lonely.. i would talk to the only person who actually can make me smile now a days, but sadly he is at school… i have finals this week so i get to take a test then go home….
i still don’t know what to do.. people say i should let go of my ex and move on… […]