My past is a bad one  Â
I’ve learnt to hide
But some of you know itÂ
I can see in your eyes
So what do I doÂ
Where do I hideÂ
What are you thinkingÂ
With misunderstood eyes
I carry my shame Â
It’s all my faultÂ
 My life full of torture
I hide in my house
The silence not lasting
I am just the mouseÂ
The look in your eyesÂ
It drives me insaneÂ
 Maybe just a smileÂ
Can ease my painÂ
You don’t know my sideÂ
It’s story untoldÂ
With pen to paperÂ
All soon will be toldÂ
So as we reflectÂ
Haha it’s one of those nights again
Haha I can’t be the only one who feels this shit, right?
Posting drunk when I’m honestly sober
But I feel like last years tequila finally went to my head
I’m running through the parking lot screaming
My boss is parked right here
Slashing those tires, and I cut my hand
Suddenly my wrists are bleeding out
Haha I actually love my job, you know?
Haha my blood turns his white truck brown
Eyes wide enough to open the door
My smile returns and no one will know
Twitching on the bus as I wanna die on the […]
Up until recently I’ve been a pretty normal person, I don’t think anyone would suspect that I’ve been having frequent thoughts of suicide. I try my best to hide it and to act happy around people, but every now and then I just can’t. I like to be alone more often than not and when I am with people it’s hard to enjoy myself. I find myself faking a smile or laughing just so I’m not the only one not laughing. It’s as if I don’t have feelings anymore, I can’t feel any emotion, I just feel depressed, which I guess could be considered an […]
i started hallucinating about 4 days ago. Â i also have a voice in my head. i fight with it a lot. it tells me everything it hates about me, about how i don’t deserve to be happy no matter how much i wish i was.. and it hurts. i used to say those things to myself, and now a part of me got cut off and just lives in my head. i’ll have a good time with my friends, and it will tell me not to smile because my smile is ugly. i’ll put makeup on and it will tell me nothing can fix my […]
[Is that famous frown]…
Same old thing, it’s just a different day.
No words come out, nothing to say.
Do they know, can they care?
Is this a dream, or nightmare?
No, it can’t be a dream.
I’m alive, get what I mean?
I beg and, and pray again.
But it never changed, and I all when..?
Can this end? What if it does?
All of these years I’ve spent trying to make everyone happy. I believed that if I could make them happy, I too could be happy. So I stopped enjoying myself for the time and began focusing on the happiness of those around me. Turns out though, I only further ruin their happiness. My very existence makes people unhappy. No one ever wants to work with me in school groups, even though I do everything for them just to make them happy. I try to be nice to people and socialize, yet I still cannot make people happy. I try to keep a happy outlook and […]
What I Wish I’d Known Five Years Ago – Finn Butler
“
I know the heart is a heavy thing
and if today you managed to lift it
a few inches off the ground,
I am proud.
You need to understand that there are no turning points.
Your life is not a movie and your fears will not disappear
as soon as someone loves you back. There are only moments
when the glimmer of light you are chasing seems closer
than the darkness that is always chasing you but in these moments
every single thing has been worth it.
And I know sometimes you only want it […]
Hey, was just talking in another thread about what girls look for in men, noonoo said ‘looks and money’ .. I said I was fairly good looking and quite handsome if you catch me in the right light! .. So, thought I’d put some pictures up..
does anybody know how to be happy because i havent put on a real smile since the winter. i want to know what happiness feels like again, im lost in my own depressed, suicidal world and i dont know how to get out. im about to reach my breaking point.
” Have you ever just laid in your bed and cried? Because you think you’re ugly, because you’re not good enough for anyone. You’ve counted your flaws from head to toe, making yourself feel worse. Cried because of all the comments that people blurt out actually hurt? Cried because your family is dysfunctional and never understands you. They tell you to stop complaining . That you have it so much better than the kids in Africa, even though they don’t understand your life either. You don’t want to feel like an attention seeker, so you bottle everything up? Around friends and family, you’ve created this […]
Most of the time, I don’t need people. They’re irrelevant. I can manage ok without them, better in fact as I find people tiring. I have to smile and laugh and pretend everything is fine. It’s so much easier by myself. I can relax and be myself – even if that means crying in a corner. At least I have that freedom when I’m alone. But every so often I find myself reaching out. Trying to find someone to listen to me, to accept me – to like me. I want acceptance and to be admired. I want people to be surprised by my intellect […]
what is wrong with me , this may sound stupid and worthless but im so sick of people walking all over me , what have i ever done wrong to get hurt so much in my life, im 15 years old and i think i might be devolping bi polar disorder, i always put an act on infront of others, when im around my family and friends i act happy and im the most cheerful person ever but when im by myself at night times i cry , sometimes even cry myself to sleeep. i have cut a couple times but not deep enough so […]
I’m 13 years old. I would tell you my name, but being new here, I don’t know if I can trust you all to that extent yet. Normally, I post poems that reflect how I feel at the moment, or how I felt throughout the day, but right now I’d like to get a few things off my chest. I’ve told a few of my friends some of this before, but no one knows all of it at its worst. I feel as though I can trust all of you with at least this, even if I don’t know you. So here it goes.
My story:
What did i do wrong?
Why are you always sad?
Why do you look so depressed?
Are you okay?
Is there any way is can help you?
Why dont you ever smile anymore?
What did i do wrong?
Why would you want to hurt?
Why do you intentionally harm?
What happened to your wrist?
Why are your thighs so bloody?
What did i do wrong?
Why do you dream of suicide?
Why would you want to die?
How can i make you stop?
How […]
I snapped.
I confided in you my deepest secret.
I trusted you.
But, I was wrong to do so.
You twisted my words.
Made it sound worse than it really was.
Then, you told everyone.
Don’t you know?
I still have feelings.
I thought you were my friend.
I thought you were the only one who cared about me.
But, I was wrong.
You didn’t care.
Others did, but I turned my back, and now they don’t.
It was all you.
You spread the rumors.
You talked behind my back.
Don’t you know?
I still have feelings.
I showed you my scars.
I showed you what I […]
One day I was sitting on the couch staring out the window at the rain.
My mother approached me and looked into my eyes.
“Something’s wrong.” She said softly
I asked her how she knew so easily.
“The eyes are the windows to the soul.” She replied
I never forgot that day.
Another day, hears later, I met you.y
You seemed happy. Every day you woke up and put on your smile.
That’s all anyone looked for, but not me.
I looked further.
I approached you and looked into your eyes.
“Something’s wrong.” I said.
You asked me how I knew and I gave you […]
The clock is ticking and time is running out. I know not for my life, yes I do want something more. I want so many things in life and there are so many things I wanted to do and bring to this world. I want to bring happiness to others, I want to find happiness for myself, I want to be a father, I want to be content.
I want to be happy. I want to smile for something I’ve done not something I’ve seen. I want to laugh because I feel good inside not because it’s the appropriate thing to do. There’s so much good […]
My name is John I still feel depress after 10 months my ex gf dump and say ” left me alone “……. I can’t be happy I don’t know why…..she don’t contact me anymore. since she dump me but still I have her friend in my facebook and Yahoo sometimes I saw her and i feel really bad about it but I can’t eraser her I don’t have the guts…. I miss her a lot but still I don’t wanna she back
I don’t wanna back with her anymore she is not worth it but still I miss her …..I know sound dumb I been with psychics some […]
i dont know what to do my so called best friend is now best friends with my sis and none of them is speaking to me because i sh and i did it infront of her one day she said she would have to take time to trust me again. (i wouldnt normally do it infront of anyone but my partner walked out that day and my whole life revolves around him i lost control ) i spoke to her today well, i got a msg she said thats why she hates me and i hate me. have done for a while im severely depressed, […]
lies bs and sadness i dont like this SMILE I SAY SMILE AND PEOPLE GO AND HATE ME