Hello everyone, I’m 35, and I had deal with my fair share of depression since my teen years, but the crises didn’t last for long, but two years ago my mother passed away from cancer, my brother and I took care of her trough the whole disease it lasted for two years being the last 3 months of her life the most miserable ones, I tried to prepare myself to deal with her dying and the mourning phases but it has been already two years and the sadness keeps creeping up, it has been almost a month in which I have seriously contemplated the idea […]
Tag:
Sometimes
I don’t know how this works, I’ve never done this before but I need some kind words right now. I’ve lost a part of myself. It’s so hard to be happy. So hard to be motivated. Surrounded by people but if you open up they always leave. 2 psychologists are helping me work through what happened, but I just need a friend.
My life story – I was always the happy one. But I was raised in a post apocalyptic cult and was psychologically abused until 21. I come from a broken family with domestic violence. My mum is not mentally there, still severely damaged from sexual abuse at a […]
We are all born, for the most part, knowing absolutely nothing about where we are or why we came into existence. When we grow old enough, we eventually learn of the inevitable mortality we will all face; we all discover there is an end to life. Sometimes, I go to sleep and wake up wondering what’s after all of this existence. I grew up living within the structure of a Christian denomination, which presents the possibility of ending up in either Heaven or Hell, depending on how unjust or just of a life I lead. On the flip side, as I’m sure many have, I […]
and I just get by by pretending that I don’t. Not inwardly, I mean on the outside. A mask of sanity. I’m a apathetic misanthrope portraying the character of a normal lovable person in a perpetual improv act.
I’m polite and sweet. I listen to people. I laugh at their jokes. I’m considerate. My mind is dissecting them. I’m dead inside.
I’m just not there.
I’m not depressed any more. I haven’t been for almost a year, but I no longer feel complex emotions of any kind. Some would call this a mixed blessing. There is nothing mixed about it. If I had to choose, I would trade […]
How? Just HOW? I just met my sister and she has 2 jobs now. I can’t even do this one job without falling down the suicidal thoughts slope again recently. And it’s not even a job I entirely hate. Plus I am ALREADY on meds.
Just how can people do that. And don’t get me wrong, I am NOT a lazy whiny jerk that has nothing to do but complain. I just don’t understand.
Sometimes… sometimes I think my past and childhood has robbed all my energy. And now I don’t have any left to live.
Hi.I’m New Here And I’m Glad I Found This Site.I Can Relate To Almost Half The Posts I’ve Read Here.Dying Inside,Dead,Suicidal Attempts And Fantasies.During The Day,I’m ur Typical 20year Old Girl.Popular,Socialite,Pretty Slim,Bubbly.Heck I Make The Jokes Half The Time.But The Nights..The Nights Are The Worst.The Real Me Emerges.A Pretty,Empty Vessel,Disturbed Girl,So Broken,So Torn.I Used To Self Mutilate Becoz The Pain I Inflicted On The Outside Was Better Than The One I Felt Inside.Sometimes(all the time)I Just Wanna Sleep And Never Wake Up,I Dont Want To Do Anything Or See People.I Question Anyone That Claims To Love Me.Becoz I Love Myself.Infact,I Hate Myself.So Its Really Difficult […]
“I love you with all of my heart and soul”
“We are always going to be together forever”
“You are my soul mate, my one and only, my true love”
“I never want to be without you, I can’t even imagine my life without you”
“I want to make you proud of me”
“I want to do what’s right”
“Please don’t leave me, I’m trying..really I am”
“You’ve always been my better half”
“Sometimes things are just meant to be”
“You always know what to say”
“I’m sorry I’m so closed off”
“You make me so happy, I don’t have words to explain”
“I need […]
sometimes I just feel that I am worthless.
I’m just thinking and looking for other thoughts on something. The “something” is a quote: “Sometimes you put up walls not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.” What comes to mind when I read this and mulled it over a bit … typical nonsense Hallmark-esque crap. Maybe it’s just me, though, which is why I hope to hear some different perspectives. It seems childish to “put up walls” just for the sake of finding out who gives a shit, much like “playing hard to get” in dealing with a potential romantic interest. If I’m putting up walls, […]
Isn’t is funny how easily auto-pilot comes on in the very darkest of days? The lies flow so smoothly. I talk about fixing my car, getting an apartment. I continue my discussions about long-term career goals. All the while, I stare at the person I’m talking to, wondering distantly if this will be the last time I talk to them. It’s just that everyone seems so far away at this point. My plans have become my obsession. I have tunnel vision. Besides a vague, quickly released thought, I can’t allow myself to think too deeply about them and the effects my actions will have. But […]
i am close to only a few people.i cant get close to anymore people.they will just end up leaving me and hurting me like the rest.the are just not nice anymore.i blame my ex’s for making me have this fear of getting close to people.i hate the fact that i have the fear.i need to let go of that,but it doesnt look like tht is going to be happening anytime soon. SOMETIMES…..i feel like no one really knows me or my life or what i have been through.they only know my name not my story so stop being so damn mean to me and just […]
Do you know this girl we love,
With all our heart and care.
It’s really not her problem,
I tell you, this is so unfair.
The numbers are quite shocking,
One in four they say
Will suffer from depression
In their lives one day.
There’s not much life in this girl anymore
Because of this serious mental flaw.
But no one knows when it will strike,
It’s just the luck of the draw.
She would not choose to live with it,
Sometimes not even try.
I see this little girl suffering
And all she can do is cry.
Some people turn the other cheek,
They’ve been doing it for […]
Goodbye friends and people I may not know but I will be here if you need to speak just email me at melissawitch@hotmail.co.uk I will try my hardest to help you all out no matter what just give me that email and I will be here for you even if you want to rant at me I will listen to you and be here and any problems just tell me I know how depression is and loosing someone dearly to you but I must leave this site sorry to say I love this site and all the people on here the makers and the people […]
Sometimes I just wish, I could run away and hide.
No matter where I go though, these feelings stay inside.
How can I stay here and live each day a lie,
When all I want to do is close my eyes and die?
I see the pain I cause you, with every tear I shed.
I plead with you now mum, let me go instead?
I wish I could take you with me, to a happy place,
Whether it exists though, is time for me to face.
Can I ask for your forgiveness? For you to set me free,
It may seem ungrateful, but this […]
that the only way to maintain my sanity is by going insane
I feel so lost.. So empty.
Everyone I talk to.. they disappear.
My thoughts are filled of suicide and selfharm thoughts.
All I do is disappoint my family….
And myself.
I hate myself more than people hate me, which is a lot..
Sometimes, I think about dying…
And I might do it.
I might end my life
Broken smiles say a lot
Sometimes they’re not what you thought
They change a person, make them hide
and then one day you may find that smile was the one that died
They made hold secrets people don’t care to know
They may hide feeling that are so low
Sometimes you may wonder why that smile appears
When they’re full of the taste of tears
You may wonder what does it gain
when it’s so full of pain
These are the smile you don’t ignore
Or theyâ€ll be gone forever more
Give the help and love
Don’t give hate or a […]
First of all respect for the people who got to roam this site. I myself did it for more than one year. Sometimes I tried giving advices, yet it s hard to interfere with other people s thoughts, so for the most time I refrained from doing so. I can say I succeeded to prolong someone s life here, with one week. Yes only one week. I cried when that person gave up. I cried as much as when I lost my mother. Our lives cannot be lived in reverse and unfortunately many people are going backwards instead of moving forward. It is the mind […]
I am an Army veteran. I joined up to help people. I ended up getting hurt in the process. I am now out of the army and have a wife and child. I can’t stop thinking about the tour I done or the people I lost. I know I’m supposed to move on and care about my wife and child first and foremost, but, I don’t. I love them, but, I can’t feel for them like I guess i should. My thoughts are always focused on tour and I am often angry. I get so angry I scream. Sometimes I don’t even know why I’m […]
Sometimes I hear or see something I don’t want to when i’m with a group of people , and I see things that just hurt me and I want to burst into tears but I don’t want people to see the true me. It hurts being one of the only people from you’re group wanting to kill yourself every minute of day.