All I can ask for is help at this point. I feel like the further I go in life the more I wish I could just stand still. Fear is all I feel most of the time. I fell it when I’m at school, when I go out, when I’m talking to my bestfriend, when I’m talking to anyone. It’s the fear of being judge, rejected, the fear of not being accepted. Fear is not all I feel though. I fell well in the only way I can put it… Alone. Alone and scared. I feel alone bc I feel there is nothing more I […]
I’m tired these muscles spasms n my anxiety makes it worse I feel like dying every day I want this pain to end my whole.body hurts I’m everything I do to make myself relax n try n get better it sucks nothing help pills or cream or this pain it feels like my body is going hunchback n shit it really hurts n want to get surgery but doctor needs more info from.my scans I have to take n I can’t stand still arm muscles feel so bad I’m getting worse I’m.any better I want stop this I’m hopeless can I call it quits I […]
I stand alone
A group of laughing people to my right
I stand alone
The rushing cars passing me to my left
I stand alone
The cold chill of the winter breeze blowing through my hair
I stand alone
In visioning myself some place else
I stand alone
As the dark clouds begin to loom lower
I stand alone
As the moon begins to rise in the night sky
I stand alone
Until it’s time to go back home
I sleep alone
Dreading the next day of which I’ll once again stand alone
A cycle that will never end
I’ve never had much luck with love. It seems that every time I fall for someone, they can’t reciprocate my feelings. I had a girlfriend I really loved when I was younger, from the age of 12 to 13, but I became a phase to her and so she left me. After that I had a few relationships in middleschool and college but I was just settling for people I knew I didn’t love simply because I didn’t want to be alone. I’ve had a few people proclaim their love for me and it always makes me feel terrible when I don’t feel that way […]
I’ve always been independent. Independent and mature, people called me. Even when I was a little girl. And I’ve always been the type of person that likes to be alone a lot of the time. I’m tough, I’m strong, and I stand alone. I don’t think about love very often. I don’t want a relationship or to get married; at least not now. I’m eighteen years old; I’m just a baby, people tell me. And that never made sense to me. Wasn’t I the “mature” one? But it all makes sense when it comes down to those moments when everything is dark, both outside my […]
Thank you for being a friend, traveled down a road and back again.
Your a pal and a confidant.
I’m not ashamed to say, I hope it will always stay this way!!
My hat is off, won’t you stand up and take a bow.
And if you threw a party and invited everyone you knew.
Well you would see the biggest gift would be from me.
And the card attached would say….
Thank you for being a friend ^.^
Tryed the rope around my neck and slowly go Down in knees. Just to try how it feels. Im scared for What happens next? I get dizzy and then stand up again. How long Will it take to be unconsious? Im not from US so sorry for Any spelling mistakes.
These thoughts in my head are horrible.
I’m so scared,it’s not even the fact im having suicidal thoughts,its the fact that nobody can hrlp me and that this time they’re scaring me.
They’re winning.
For the first time in a long time.
What do i do?i dont feel in control i just keep screaming and crying,i cant eat and im struggling to stand for long periods of time..
I dont want too go,not yet..but i might have too.
Theres no way out.. I just want to cut until my veins have no more blood to let out.. I want to stand on that chair and end it.. Who cares if anyone misses me.. I want it to be over. The pain, the suffering.. I’m crying just writing this. This maybe my last post.. I need it to end. I need a way out of this. Life isn’t worth living anymore. It never was worth it. I can’t think of the last time I was actually happy.. What is being happy feel like? Because I don’t know anymore.. So this is it.. goodbye
I love the way that life hands me extra frustration when I am already feeling more pain than I can withstand. There is nothing to do but distract myself, try to find pleasure in simple things and endure the experience until it finally ends.
I get so tired of looking up, of putting a happy face over my perceptions and soldiering on. But there really is nothing else to do except feel raw pain distinctly. Does that help me?
I keep having intrusive thoughts about choices that I regret having made and about how my life compares to the life that I hoped to live. […]
The site says no hate, but there’s plenty of hate.
I hate being me. I hate existing. I hate living in this world. This trap.
I hate being alone, rejected, unable to live.
I hate that anyone pretends that things get better.
I hate that suicide is never an option.
I hate being forced to live when I know full well it is hopeless.
I don’t want this. I don’t want to sit here and struggle any longer. I don’t want to have to struggle my entire life. I just want to sit back and fade away.
I go to martial arts and I practice, fine. An hour of distractions while standing […]
Life is nothing but a series of comic fuck ups and disappointments, its like its just waiting for you to want something before it screws you over, u make every step forward that you can, you get everything under controll and one thing just comes along and puts you back to square one. The one thing u want more than anything else is dangled infront of you but u don’t get it. U get to be close enough to breath in its scent but u cant touch it. U get to be right beside it but u might as well be a million miles away […]
Time has gone by and no marked improvement of my depression…what am i gonna do with myself, those people on the phone told me that no depression lasts forever… i think they were lying just to make me stay and watch me suffer a little more. Pills pills pills, after pills, having to look at my family each day and fail them again and again and watching their face as they feel sorry for me…asking the sky for a miracle so i can stand on my own two feet and live on my own and not depend on others… well oh well…. how marvelous. these […]
Lol. Can’t wait until the day I die…. Maybe I won’t go to a world full of pink ponies but at least I will no longer be on this evil planet. Every time I think I have hope, it goes crashing down into oblivion. I have no future. Die young. I’m sitting here smoking cigarettes, and waiting until I can dip gummy bears in a glass of whiskey. I hate being alone. I can’t stand going to clubs, every time I am in a disco i […]
well i’m 14 and don’t really talk to people about stuff like this but.. i dont want to be like this anymore, i dont really want to live at all anymore.
summer break started 3 weeks ago and just before it i lost my friends, they started talking about me and all that stuff but i started hanging with new people and it only made me realise that i hate myself even more. i’m a typical teenager, i dont stand out like the rest of them.
i have a lot of family problems- my mum and dad argue a lot, i argue with them a lot and […]
Can this pen bring you to me? Pushed away from the freeze…and the long hanging feelings that call out for freedom.
Will this time stand aside, this time took from me just to give it all back again?
Is it right to cry? Is it right to cry for me? Said, this fight might be ours but it all falls to a place that we’ve failed to see.
And so, she lifts me
And so, she lifts me
That’s right, she lifts me now..if you can’t see for yourself..see?
I couldn’t hold back those dreams..cause you were there begging me so nice. And I still […]
She speaks to me
All the things I want to hear
In an angels voice, too soft to be real
Amazing grace, from times that stand still
In my mind
Can I keep this for all time, she asked, when I said yes
And she claimed..
Then again..then again, there might be something more. And I can’t only stop and stand. I have to leave the life I know.
I cried out for heaven’s hold. Please take me away, oh lord. I’m ready, willing. These days grow old. A breeze pushed me over. I looked up to god in vein..and said..
Then again…then again, it’s […]
Hey,
Just had the typical rush of negative thoughts and events of my life come at me. It really makes me quit…and just want to go somewhere peaceful and alone…not my home.
What I wish in life is just me being in this peaceful place in nature by myself…just to think and watch. That would make my life perfect.
Unfortunately, I am in a confined state of mind. All I do is study for classes for undergraduate (pre-med), which I like, but cannot stand the stress.
What do you wish?
I was born into a family that had an over-bearing, over abusive dickwad for a “father”. He would beat the crap out of my for not having all A+’s simply because those were his grades in school. Seriously. My mother would just stand there and let me beat me, scream at me, tell me how im worthless and nobody will ever love me. Yeah, she would just stand there. She said she never did anything is because she “cant afford to support us without his paycheck”. Yeah. And he never hit my sisters, maybe once or twice their whole life.
School wasn’t any better. I was […]
A quick disappointing blur. That is what my 23 years have been so far. Maybe it isnt worth dying over. Maybe its not that bad. I have always doubdted myself at every turn, ever since I was a young boy .When I learned that i didnt know my father because I am the product of a drunken one night stand. My biological father was not present because he had to take care of his REAL family. I now have severe social anxiety, its impossible for me to talk to women, or most people for that matter. and I stay inside with my cats most days. […]