Can i just disappear and start out fresh somewhere?
Can i have second chance at happiness?
Tag:
start
Currently living in Adelaide, South Australia by any chance? I’ve got no friends whatsoever, and it’d be lovely to be depression buddies. Cheesy, I know, but I was thinking perhaps we could help each other through these tough times in our lives. To be honest, I’m sort of looking for a suicide partner, but I’m most hoping to start a friendship.
I’ve always had a gut feeling of dying young. I’ve had a reoccurring dream since I was 4 of it.
I’m chronically ill. I’m a sophomore in high school, though I’m home schooled. No one cared when I left. No texts, or are you okays. I’m stuck here alone, sometimes with him. My mom hates me for the bills and because her boyfriend doesn’t like me.
I want to die.. I want to die pretty and happy, in my best dress and my makeup done. I want to die… but the only one I love will hate me for making him go to my funeral..
…. Funny when […]
is it okey to feel like you dont belong to this earth?
Is it ok to not love your kids?
Is it ok to want to leave your family?
Is it ok to feel like it is your wife that is the source of the problem?
Is it ok to want to just leave and start fresh somewhere else? Is that possible?
Am i the only one that feel like this?
Whatever it or they may be.
Model ships, history, reading, drawing, photography, design, walking, jogging. There is a lot out there on offer. We cant be wallowing in self pity. We need to try and find ways to keep on, keep trying, keep investigating.
You never know whats around the corner. Could be the start of an exciting and prosperous life, or it could be more struggles and bullshit, but we wont know if were not here to see it.
I love music. Im always talking about it, listening to it, embracing it. Theres something out there for us all. That one thing that makes life worth trying […]
Mom had decided to divorce dad right after my sister was born. Didn’t do it, went back and had me, that’s when the fights began. Okay, decided to enter schizophrenia and Dad was too desperate to see the future believing life was so much fun. At 27, with a painless method at hand, I realise they are both being held by their children from dying. So we never had parents. I feel like I’m holding them alive at gunpoint, not fair, since they’re vehemently against it, they don’t even want me to earn, although my not having a job adds to it. So since my […]
so I’m here to try and tell my story because someone said I should try… Well I not to sure where to start but all I know is that everyday is a challenge for me every since I was 9. Is it normal for a child to feel so much hurt and despair? Well I’m sure some might say no because its not normal because there must be something going on. I grew into my teens feeling the same I have thought so many times that I should end it maybe that will make things better. I don’t want not at all but its crossed […]
OK so im 16 an I do pain pills and I cut myself, and I know one day i am going to be so sad that im going to take all the pain pills I have and be done with this messed up world. So, I have to start pushing people away. I don’t want anyone to be sad when I die. I don’t want anyone to attend my funeral. I don’t want anyone to cry. I don’t want anyone to care. I’m worthless, stupid, and a waist of space. I already hurt the people I love, so let’s just start pushing everyone away so […]
I’ll start by saying: wherever there’s hope, there’s disappointment…
I don’t know why I visited the place; I hadn’t been to the park for years…Since, probably, at least it is the latest I can remember, me and my girlfriend were little love-birds humping each-other in the toilets. It looked, smelt– felt the same, indeed, so much so that one can only call it, eccentric. Maybe it is the hopefulness the memories possessed that took me there– or maybe my sheer lack of recent-by recent I mean the last 4 years- memories urged me to find comfort in memories that once promised new ones. I really […]
I’m not entirely sure I want to kill myself, or I just truly want to start living.
One of the four beasts saying, Come and See.
and i saw.
Am I the Devil? No, of course not. How self-righteous. How presumptuous. A devil would relish in what I feel. Would strive to increase the agony inside of him. Then he’d share that agony.
I feel like if I keep going I’m going to start sharing.
Not like I haven’t thought about it before.
Maybe that’s what I have to do. Become less of a man. More of a monster.
History remembers monsters.
No one remembers a coward.
and i saw, and behold… a pale horse… and his name that sat on him…
Death.
My bestfriend, she left me. It was my fault tho. Just like everything. We were so alike it was ridiculous. She liked what I liked. She had been bullied I had been bullied. We connected on so many levels. Every day she came over after school. Everyday we would sit on my roof and listen to the birds sing. We would watch the moon come up count the start and fall asleep. When it was cold we would bring pillows and blankets up to lay on. Whispers and giggles until snores. The first real friend I’ve ever had. She was the only reason, she made me better. She […]
I always seem to end up in a melancholy state. No matter what I do I always end up there again. Things only go good for a while then bam. I got to start all over again from the beginning. It seems to happens no matter what I do.
I guess the reason I feel this way is, because I know no one really gives a fuck about anyone else. I’m guilty of this myself and the only reason I act the way I do is because everyone else is doing it, so why not me too then? Why should I be the one that gives […]
So, my only actaul friend that I have, is embarrassed to tell people that we hang out. I kind of picked up on this a few months ago when a few of her other friends didn’t like me so for a while she wouldn’t talk or hang out with me. Then she started messaging me to come over to my house to drink all the time, and that’s about it. Any time I offered her to come with me to the mall or movies, she’d tell me she’s busy. Eventually, I found out that she blew me off to hang out with people who strongly […]
”if you’re going to try,
go all the way.
otherwise,
don’t even start.
if you’re going to try,
go all the way.
this could mean losing girlfriends,wives, relatives, jobs
and
maybe your mind.
go all the way.
it could mean not eating for 3 or4 days.
it could mean freezing on a park bench.
it could mean jail,
it could mean derision,
mockery,
isolation.
isolation is the gift,
all the others are a test of your endurance,
of how much you really want to do it.
and you’ll do it
despite rejection and the worst odds
and it will be better than anything else […]
i am more then a year very suicidal,im just suffer,empty.
i have a good life,hobbies,good friends ,im not rich but i can get want i want,good grades in school (high school) and have a weekly routine.
i read all the advice and nothing works for me (except a psychologist that i havent tried).
i promised to my girlfriend to not do it but it feels impossible, i start to realy lose myeslf.
what to do?
sory for my shitty english grammer .
Still struggling. All this time.
I managed to get my life together. I thought I would be happier with a job. With animals. With a boyfriend. It just goes to show you ignoring depression doesn’t work. Now I have more responsibilities.and still want the same. Death. I have been thinking about it more and more. A familiar face. My boyfriend’s apology. And I’m sucked in. UNleash these thoughts and then it is endless for hours and hours, just thinking and researching and wondering. I talk myself out of it at the end of the day. I lose hours and hours to it then. A sick fascination with […]
I shouldn’t be awake right now. I have to be up for work at 6. But I can’t sleep. I’ve been heartbroken over the same person for a year now. As soon as i start to forget him, he contacts me again. I just spoke to him and I feel like the worst kind of person because I’m seeing someone else. But he and I were together for two years. We were engaged. And then he cheated. I’m in college and lost my biggest scholarship because I don’t have enough hours. I now owe $1000 that I don’t have. I’m doing so badly in some […]
Haven’t sleep ok in months. Neither tonight. But this morning… the cold seems to be gone. My dog’s head is on my arm. Somehow, the world seems to be quiet, and birds start to be back. For almost an hour, I slept like a child. Time to wake up. I’m still afraid of talking to people.
But for an hour, everything was ok.
I feel bad right now.. I keep doing bad things, but suddenly sometimes I get a moment of clear mind, I feel guilty from what I’ve done. But later on when my mind is hazy, I’ll start doing those bad things again.. The hell is wrong with my brain. I don’t want to do it yet here I am. I hate my own self. I hate my own indecisiveness. I gradually become worsen, am I not? I need to maintain my good side for the sake of my family and friends, while in an other side, I practically became darker and darker. T-T how should […]