Currently living in Adelaide, South Australia by any chance? I’ve got no friends whatsoever, and it’d be lovely to be depression buddies. Cheesy, I know, but I was thinking perhaps we could help each other through these tough times in our lives. To be honest, I’m sort of looking for a suicide partner, but I’m most hoping to start a friendship.
Wouldn’t mind visiting Adelaide some time. Brisbane was nice, but the GC is bollocks — that place is more plastic than a $2 shop. Currently living in Auckland, or recovering in actually. Hopefully I can move to Australia. Health permitting.
Did you ever watch Firefly with Nathan Fillion? Just curious as to where you got your handle. I’m actually quite tired, too. Might clean my pistol. Feel free to talk with me and Schizo. I’m a veteran of this place, I just… take things slower these days.
Passed through Hawkes Bay once, long time ago whilst I was still working. It’s all right, aside from Maraenui in Napier — no idea how I ended up through there. Ah, so you lived in Brissy? I actually thought of living there myself since the place seems pretty chill.
Yeah actually held down a few good jobs there until I became a bit crazy. Plenty of kiwis there too. Lol yea flaxmere near hastings is pretty crazy too had some mad bastard chase us from there in a car harassing us wouldn’t leave us until I drove into the cop station.
I never got off. Been here since February 2013, only recently did I become an irregular member.
I’ve had a recent health scare which… made me realise some things. One of them being that I’ll never go back to the army; the other being that July will be the deciding month in my life. I have a woman who I’m fighting for. I doubted her when I knew the truth already, but we both know better than to dwell on pettiness when a future is within our grasp. She’s outstanding in every way, and Australian, too.
TL;DR — I’m sick but fighting, I’m in love with the only girl I’ll ever love this way, and the future has me worried to no end.
Apologies for hijacking this post. Tell me some of your story if you’d like.
I just took a bath. Felt like drowning a little bit. I got the name dark firefly from my lover… we were together for 8 years… We just.. worked… anyways… he said that what he loved about me was the fact that I could shine but I refused. Like a firefly that refused to glow. So he called me his dark firefly.
I was raped by this Singaporean guy… the court case ended a few weeks ago. And for years I was subject to grooming online by much older men. Started when I was about 11. My parents ignored me and my siblings beat me… I just wanted someone to love me so I found myself online in a big world. Began in WoW and then I moved onto BDSM websites, thinking that was what I liked… and big men called themselves dominates and told me to do bad things… I look back and realize they were just abusing me. They knew my age. I feel disgusting. Like a slut.
I still get spam calls, and stuff from this other guy… he makes me sick. I hate him but… *sigh* like I said… I’m a slut. I’ve been told I’m only like this because I was taught by them to enjoy it but I still feel responsible and guilty no matter how many times I hear ‘it wasn’t your fault. You were just a child.’ Their words don’t make an ounce of difference to me.
Now I’m this sexual deviant that can’t go one day without doing something stupidly sexual, either that or I need to degrade myself or harm myself. I hate what these men have turned me into. I’m depressed all the time, I barely find joy in video games and uh ma*****ating and I can barely get myself out to school anymore. I don’t have any friends whatsoever. I mean, I would just kill for Chloe from Life is Strange. I want a friend that won’t make me feel awkward, that will go out of their way for me. Like, call me and talk to me randomly and ask me things and just CARE, you know? I mean, with my depression I suck at keeping up with things, so I want a friend that can help by keeping up with talking to me for me. I’m tired of not having any friends. There’s no one to call who I can cry and say I want to kill myself and all the rest. If I do I get the standard ‘don’t do that’ when I want to hear ‘yeah I know. Why don’t you get yourself a cup of tea, maybe some icecream if there’s some in the house and if not have toast with real butter and play xbox with me or a PC game or listen to me talk until you fall asleep’ that kind of crap. Everytime I try to find someone who would do that for me… they just judge me and I’m tired of hearing the same old standard stock answers!
I’ll be on and around here. But for more constant chat my email is elle.dak@hotmail.com (use to be darkfireflyangel until some guy decided to spam the fuck out of me there yay for stalkers)
and my skype is elle.dak
32 comments
I live in NZ but suicide partners is not allowed on this forum. But if it was ild do a carbon monoxide poisoning with u. How old are you I’m 31
It’d be great if we lived in the same area 🙁 I just recently had my wrist stitched up so I don’t want to cut anymore
Just kidding
Why is my comment awaiting moderation I was just bloody kidding. Lol
I’m 18. I’ve been raped, abused, tormented and I’m done.
That sucks dick. Have you thought about getting the fuck out of Adelaide and to a different state or getting some help. Are you on meds for depression
I refuse meds. I just want to die please
I’ve got a knife in my hand atm I was just hoping for a friend right now
I’ll be your friend. If you want I’ve been through some tough shit too
I just want to die
Life can be torture of the mind until we get a little help do you have family
I have help. I’m just tired
That’s aweful being tortured and raped life sucks but is there at least a little bit of fighting spirit. Do you have hatred
No
I get tortured everyday by voices. So I know what its like being tormented I’m trying to hold in there though until I make a sound decision
Do you feel like venting
Like who the fuck raped you have you told anyone
Wouldn’t mind visiting Adelaide some time. Brisbane was nice, but the GC is bollocks — that place is more plastic than a $2 shop. Currently living in Auckland, or recovering in actually. Hopefully I can move to Australia. Health permitting.
Did you ever watch Firefly with Nathan Fillion? Just curious as to where you got your handle. I’m actually quite tired, too. Might clean my pistol. Feel free to talk with me and Schizo. I’m a veteran of this place, I just… take things slower these days.
Nice to meet you rogue 🙂 I’m from hawkes bay. Yea brissy is a sweet place lived there for some time with my ex.
Likewise, fellow Kiwi. 🙂
Passed through Hawkes Bay once, long time ago whilst I was still working. It’s all right, aside from Maraenui in Napier — no idea how I ended up through there. Ah, so you lived in Brissy? I actually thought of living there myself since the place seems pretty chill.
Yeah actually held down a few good jobs there until I became a bit crazy. Plenty of kiwis there too. Lol yea flaxmere near hastings is pretty crazy too had some mad bastard chase us from there in a car harassing us wouldn’t leave us until I drove into the cop station.
…didn’t we all? Except my craziness manifested into this physical bullshit I now have. But, whatever.
Hah, Flaxmere — knew a fella from there. Reckons it was pretty ruthless at times. Here out west ain’t so bad… except for all the murders… and weirdos.
Where’d Dark Firefly go??
Not sure but its still not late in Adelaide yet. Why are you on this band wagon man rogue. Sorry for prying I just care are you unwell?
I never got off. Been here since February 2013, only recently did I become an irregular member.
I’ve had a recent health scare which… made me realise some things. One of them being that I’ll never go back to the army; the other being that July will be the deciding month in my life. I have a woman who I’m fighting for. I doubted her when I knew the truth already, but we both know better than to dwell on pettiness when a future is within our grasp. She’s outstanding in every way, and Australian, too.
TL;DR — I’m sick but fighting, I’m in love with the only girl I’ll ever love this way, and the future has me worried to no end.
Apologies for hijacking this post. Tell me some of your story if you’d like.
Its good to hear you take things slower.
I just took a bath. Felt like drowning a little bit. I got the name dark firefly from my lover… we were together for 8 years… We just.. worked… anyways… he said that what he loved about me was the fact that I could shine but I refused. Like a firefly that refused to glow. So he called me his dark firefly.
I was raped by this Singaporean guy… the court case ended a few weeks ago. And for years I was subject to grooming online by much older men. Started when I was about 11. My parents ignored me and my siblings beat me… I just wanted someone to love me so I found myself online in a big world. Began in WoW and then I moved onto BDSM websites, thinking that was what I liked… and big men called themselves dominates and told me to do bad things… I look back and realize they were just abusing me. They knew my age. I feel disgusting. Like a slut.
I still get spam calls, and stuff from this other guy… he makes me sick. I hate him but… *sigh* like I said… I’m a slut. I’ve been told I’m only like this because I was taught by them to enjoy it but I still feel responsible and guilty no matter how many times I hear ‘it wasn’t your fault. You were just a child.’ Their words don’t make an ounce of difference to me.
Now I’m this sexual deviant that can’t go one day without doing something stupidly sexual, either that or I need to degrade myself or harm myself. I hate what these men have turned me into. I’m depressed all the time, I barely find joy in video games and uh ma*****ating and I can barely get myself out to school anymore. I don’t have any friends whatsoever. I mean, I would just kill for Chloe from Life is Strange. I want a friend that won’t make me feel awkward, that will go out of their way for me. Like, call me and talk to me randomly and ask me things and just CARE, you know? I mean, with my depression I suck at keeping up with things, so I want a friend that can help by keeping up with talking to me for me. I’m tired of not having any friends. There’s no one to call who I can cry and say I want to kill myself and all the rest. If I do I get the standard ‘don’t do that’ when I want to hear ‘yeah I know. Why don’t you get yourself a cup of tea, maybe some icecream if there’s some in the house and if not have toast with real butter and play xbox with me or a PC game or listen to me talk until you fall asleep’ that kind of crap. Everytime I try to find someone who would do that for me… they just judge me and I’m tired of hearing the same old standard stock answers!
I’ll be on and around here. But for more constant chat my email is
elle.dak@hotmail.com (use to be darkfireflyangel until some guy decided to spam the fuck out of me there yay for stalkers)
and my skype is elle.dak
Everyone is sleeping now and it sucks >.<
If you’re ever in Sydney, NSW I’ll hang out with you.
Thanks
You should go if you’ve never been
I’ve never left Adelaide…