Does anyone else keep a journal? I read that writing can be therapeutic if you suffer from depression. It was for me at first but then the journal eventually morphed into a written strategy of how and when I am going to exit. Now I’m more intent on exiting than when I started. I’ve done a lot of research on helium hoods and almost ordered the items I need to make one from Amazon yesterday. I stopped when I got worried that my wife would see the charge on our credit card statement and ask me what I bought. Plus, I was not sure where […]
Tag:
strategy
I don’t have the faith, nor self esteem. But the ability to try, the potential. I can, but i feel mentally weak and doubt myself. What is it that pulls me down every time? maybe its the opposite of what pushes me up every time; you know tao and all that. Perhaps the question is not how to move up but how to keep stable. It’s the attraction in degradation that pulls me down. I need to avoid/prevent that while remaining true with myself.
I need to be above things. i need to distinguish between what is utility and what is me. I have experienced such states when […]
So I have the method: helium hood. I have the plan all laid out. I have the relevant notes all prepared (albeit in my head). I know how I will do it, I know how long it will take, what will happen to my body, where and how I will do it in such a way that causes minimal fuss for those who will find me.
I’ve had this plan for a long time, I have replayed it in my head almost daily – what stops me is the thought of messing up my two children, they’re only young. How to get them to understand? How […]
There are times life seems so beyond my ability
to delicately control that I return to the desire to believe I choose
this life with the deseret environment of my bith parents. There is a lesson for me to uniquely learn from these particular hurtles. I have something to say but aI lack the will to voice.