I have seen a counselor twice because of my self harm issues but I stopped going to the counselor because I didn’t ever like going. Looking back on the times that I was there and the discussions we had I realized that I wasn’t entirely honest with her. When I would talk to her I could tell by the way she looked at me that she thought I was dumb. I am one of those people who have parents still together, I have a home, I have dinner on my table, and I’m pretty. You may think with all of that, how can a person […]
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Suicidal Thoughts
Hate, depression, constant crying, constant suicidal thoughts, constant self-harm. Who am I? I wish I could remember but the image of who I used to be gets fuzzier, and fuzzier. Had I known I would feel such loneliness in the future, I would have ended my life on that faithful April 27, 2006. I’m surrounded by many who claim to love me, yet in my mind I’m trying to deal with the fact that I’ve been abandoned by everyone. Maybe I have and everyone is just pretending to be nice, all I ever meet are extremely nice people, and I can’t help but love them. I […]
I silently slip out of bed and turn on the light, I creep over to the bench and grab my lighter and pack of cigarettes and shove them into my pocket. I walk over to my bedroom window and slide it open, the cold mist outside creeps It’s way inside sending a chill down my back. I look up into the night sky and wonder what time it is. I open the door of my room and close it quietly hoping my mum dosn’t wake up. IÂ walk down the creaking old stairs. Downstairs I go into the dining room and look up at the […]
I am just sitting here and I just randomly start crying… I wanna just cut or kill myself so that I don’t cry anymore…. I hate crying…. I grew up learning that it was wrong to cry and that we couldn’t talk about anything… So I don’t talk to anyone about it… I wish that I could….. I wanna just open my arm and bleed out… Idk anymore
Every doctor pretty much makes it seem as though if you take this medicine, everything will get better. Sadly, that ain’t the truth. I have been taking medicine since I was in 6th grade and look at me. I am STILL depressed and I STILL have a lot of anxiety and anger. Can medicine really help you? No. It can help you a little. It can slightly make you happier and slightly less anxious, but that’s not always the case. When I cry, I can’t stop crying for about an hour. My anxiety gets so bad that I shake to the point that I can’t […]
It started when I was 11, the bullying. It was simple at first; called fat and ugly. It started to excel though, through out the year. I was a heavy set child, short and pudgy. But not obese. I told my mum, she said I just wanted attention. I let it keep happening for a couple months, then it got out of hand. I started being followed home by a couple of boys. They rode bikes usually, sometimes skateboards. I didn’t know what they wanted with me. A couple weeks after, a brick broke my window in the middle of the night. There was a […]
I just don’t know what to do anymore! My parents are completely oblivious to me, and always wonder why I break out into crying(they hear me threw my wall) but don’t bother to comfort. My so-called friends call me names and talk about me behind my back, and think I’m worthless (I heard them say it, by accident of course). Even my younger brother (and mother) verbally hurt me, by calling me fat, worthless, and not worth their time. My mom cares more about her boyfriend than she does for me, and since I once cried at his house, every second I’m gone at my […]
I hate myself. I am stupid. I am ugly. I am fat . I am died inside. I am alone. I am fat. I am selfish. I am annoying . I am a person who wants help but can tell anyone in fear of them judgeing me. I am finished.
completely give up. I’ve lost all hope…I lost every person that I once had in my life. I now have no one. I am gone very soon. goodbye :’c :’c
Today I found out that my Great Grandmother died of pneumonia last night in hospital. And I felt nothing. We were fairly close and I liked her far more than my Grandma. But when I heard she’d died… nothing. Nothing at all. I felt nothing for her death.
What makes me sad is the impact it has on the rest of my family. I nearly cry when I think about my Great Grandad having to hear his wife’s passed away and my Grandad hearing he’s lost his mother. It makes me really sad to see my mum so not herself. I can’t help but comfort my relentlessly […]
I just came across this website a couple days ago. I have gone through reading everyone’s writings from the bad to the good. I have been suicidal for over 14 years. I have gone through the depression of high school getting close to friends only to in my own way pushing them away to where I was alone. I been through everything I read here. But I do not have bad family background. I am bipolar and suicidal thoughts are part of my life. As I have gotten older I wish I could say things get easier but for me they have in a way. You learn […]
Here I find myself again, with tears streaming and a heart that aches. I have no idea what to do. I feel lost in a world that is passing me by, crippled by the fears of the unknown that consume me. So many paths lay before me and I can’t even take the first step, the pain inside crippling. Betrayal, anger, hurt, hate, love, loss; all consuming thoughts.   I don’t want to be here.  I feel tired and broken and the task of putting the pieces back together is impossible; even if I could, I would never be the same. My life can be seen […]
Okay,
So, 2 weeks ago, I planned to kill myself on Monday. I sent my ex-counselor a goodbye e-mail on Sunday, but instead of killing myself, I ended up going to a Psychiatric hospital and stayed there for a week and a half. He sent me an e-mail on Monday and Tuesday, but I am no longer able to access the e-mails. I know I should tell him that I’m okay, and that I’ve been in a hospital, but I’m not sure if I’m going to stay alive. You see, I wanted to stay longer at the hospital, but the staff said I was ready to […]
I was tricked into moving here. My ex wife said she wanted to move back to PR to be closer to her family. So we (she, my son and I) moved to PR and starte our life here. A year later I was replaced by the guy she had been cheating on me with. A month after she told me to leave, he was living in my house, sleeping in my bed, screwing my ex nd playing with my son. I have no family or friends here and the locals don’t seem too accepting of a gringo cabron. I […]
So. There is nothing holding me back. There is no one who loves me, no one who cares about me. The last one who existed on this earth, my father, got run over by a truck a year ago next month. I am a single woman in my 40’s who grew up in an abusive household and will never have a mate or children or a loving home. I want to die more than anything in this world. Each night i lie sobbing on the floor, pulling the side of one hand down the wrist of the other, feeling the cool, smooth sensation of a […]
This is the first time I am putting this in writing much less saying it to anyone. I have been suicidal ever since I can remember. I first tried to commit suicide when I was in grade 5, I think that would make me 11. I had heard in news about a guy who wanted to commit suicide by over-dosing but ended up killing his niece and nephew when they consumed the desert he had made for himself with plenty of sleeping pills. I was young then so I didn’t know just how much “plenty” meant. I asked my maid-servant (I am from Asia and it’s normal […]
My story isn’t this huge story that will make everyone teary-eyed ,a and have people wanting to feel sorry for me everywhere . No , im just a 14 year old girl w/ a fucked up life . But my story is real , and it means something to me that someone just read it and actually hear what i’ve been through . I need more faith in myself , i talk back to my parents too much , i want to cry right now , i pretend everything’s okay when it’s really not , i just can’t seem to understand math ,i am a […]
Whoever is reading this im grateful you found this, im here for you, ears, eyes, typing etc… Whatever you need help with.
http://expressyourthoughtslove.blogspot.co.uk/
I new here but I’d love to help anyone out there, if anyone needs an ear, I’ve create a blog on blogger, if people want to speak about anything from their favourite song or a new love to the love of food. I wanted to create a place for people to express what they want said.
Love, family, school, work, exams, stress, life, emotions, yourself, feelings, issues … i know it all, im here if you need anything,
I struggle myself. I fall. I try my utter hardest survive, because […]
This isn’t really to do with my suicidal thoughts… I don’t know, maybe it is.
But this website seems to be the only place where people “understand” my poetry. My “art”.
This is a poem I wrote about a woman that I was in love with. That I still am in love with. To make a long story short, a couple of months back, she told me that she didn’t love me anymore. Just like that. I honestly believed that we were going to get married. And then she does this.
I can’t blame her, and I know it would be worse if she had […]
I’m not here to preach, I’m not here to tell you everything is going to be the same as it was, I’m not here to persuade you against the decisions you have already made, but maybe just maybe I can make you feel better about things. Even if it is only temporary.
Suicidal thoughts and tendencies are not considered normal in the mental health world, but there’s 7 billion people on this planet and over half will at some point feel the way you do now. I know your eyes are starting to roll into your head and that urge to tell yourself ‘yeah this guy […]