I feel like I’m just getting by with most things. I don’t want to “just get by” anymore but it feels so hard to do anything. It is a vicious cycle. I think I am doing better and I want to for a glimpse. But self doubt and self hatred consume me again. I’m bad at everything, nothing will come of me. Not that I want to be important! but I do have dreams. I just don’t see myself as someone strong enough to get there. I try and then, I don’t try. Again and again, every time a little less effort. I’m so tired.
I remember a few months back, I was so stressed. My mom and siblings couldn’t understand me at all. I used to cry in the shower, shower in the dark, I wanted to die so bad, but I love life.. My story may not be as intense as other but I just wanted to share my story, you should love life, and there is a suicidal phone number where you can call to talk to people. What may come to you may hurt you but life only wants to see how strong you are, so don’t let it hurt you, show it that you can […]
No one seems to truly care. It all seems like they superficially care and love me, but no one wants to sacrifice their time to help me in this crazy fast and lost world. You talk about depression and every body is like “Just be happy” or wants to give you tough love, as if that would help! I need somebody to walk it out with me, in person!
And then the subject of suicide is brought up and almost everybody says those people are cowards.
Look for help and all they wanna do is give you medication. I dont want medication, I want true love, help […]
I can’t deal with my depression anymore.. I have started cutting again, and it is the only promise I can make myself anymore.. “If you get through this awful day, you can go home and carve yourself to your heart’s content..” While people may find that gross, it’s honestly the most truthful thing I’ve ever said to myself.. Cutting is an out for me. It helps me express my feelings, despite the fact that no one but me ever sees the cuts..
No one ever sees them because I am very sneaky about WHEN I cut. In the shower, in a bath, late at night […]
It is amazing how life can fall out of grasp within a blink of an eye. It is like yesterday that I was happy and carefree with the world shinning brightly before me. However, it is not yesterday, it is today and today I feel as if there is nothing for me. The world is not mine for the taking and the Sun has disappeared completely. I’m sad, I’m lonely and I fear it will never get better. Maybe life isn’t for everybody because I may be breathing but inside I’m suffocating. Life shouldn’t be this hard. Living has simply turned into surviving and I […]
I am a diagnosed bipolar, twenty year old girl. And maybe it is just the depression talking. But I am so lost and I’m so on my own. I’m scared.
Fear is my biggest problem. Im so scared of everything. Scared to be on my own. Scared to run. Scared to hide. Scared to fly incase I fall. Scared to risk it all. Scared to die.
To die would be an awfully big adventure.
I’ve sat on my bed on days when I’m all alone in the house. I’ve taken pills, washed them down with vodka. But as soon as it started to hurt i made myself […]
Where do i start eh?
I am 48 yrs old, married to my gorgeous wife Victoria. we got married in 2006, we’ve had our ups and downs liek all couples do and we have come through it because i thought we were strong.
I had major back surgery in 2011 that failed now i have disc degenerative disease throughout my spine and survive my days on large amounts of morphine just to get me walking.
My Mother passed away in Nov 2012 and i felt a part of me died too, my Father died in 2007 the day before my Birthday and that is crippling me big time. […]
Reality is boring & LIMITED !! I hate Reality ! boring Reality !
Real life is boring & LIMITED !! I hate real life ! boring real life !
Real world is boring & LIMITED !! I hate real world ! boring real world !
I also hate this life, I hate people / humans (well.. MOST/90% of them), I hate reality, I hate this world.
its very BORING !! and especially nowadays become ONLY very materialistic, money / profits driven only, all about money, money, money, & image, image, image! ; it’s very superficial, shallow, and mundane boring!
Why movies, video games, comics, books, novels, anime/manga, […]
I couldn’t keep up with a fast-paced job for even a week.
I can’t even find a good job at all.
I can’t make my boyfriend laugh the way I used to. I can’t tell him anything that will give me more than “yeah well” or “baby”. When he says he loves me, the only thing I can think is that he doesn’t really mean it. He doesn’t ask me how my day is or try to talk about things with me anymore. But God knows he has plenty to tell his friends on his computer game.
I came to New York a month and a half ago […]
My first memory was when I was three, I was in a store and running from my father, I had this little pony tail, and my dad grabbed it and pulled me back, slamming the back of my head onto the ground. I don’t remember anything after that… and then the next memory I remember is when I was at this “Mental Hospital” I was about 5 years old, and had just woken up inside this room, there was no padding, there was a vinyl floor, everything was white or close to it, there was no toilet, no sink, no bed, no cot, no pillow, […]
Suicidal thoughts don’t make you a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or flawed. These thoughts occur to when our pain is greater than we can cope with. Will power has nothing to do with it. If we could cheer ourselves up, we would. We all experience different kinds of pain and we all have different limits. If you ever feel like giving up, just know that you are not alone. There are many of us feeling the same way. But don’t give in, talk to someone first. Talk to a friend, a stranger, talk to me..
Reality is boring & LIMITED !!
Real life is boring & LIMITED !!
Real world is boring & LIMITED !!
I also hate this life, I hate people / humans (well.. MOST/90% of them), I hate reality, I hate this world.
its very BORING !! and especially nowadays become ONLY very materialistic, money / profits driven only, all about money, money, money, & image, image, image! ; it’s very superficial, shallow, and mundane boring!
Why movies, video games, comics, books, novels, anime/manga, creative Art, basically human’s IMAGINATION & fantasy is often/always a hundred times FAR much more interesting & better than this sad, mundane, boring, superficial, […]
fuck Reality ! fuck real life ! fuck real world !
Reality sucks ! Real world sucks ! Real life sucks !
Reality boring ! Real life boring ! Real world boring !
movies, novels, comics, games, manga/anime are better than Reality !!
there is no MAGIC, no SUPERPOWER , no ‘cool, magical’ SUPERHERO / SUPERHEROES like in those movie , novel , comics , game / games , manga / anime , etc etc !
FUCKING BORING real world / real life / reality !!!
I also hate this life, I hate people / humans, I hate reality, I hate this world.
its very BORING […]
On 14 May 2014, I died. This was my 9th attempt and first success. I didn’t want to come back. But, yet again, I was denied of what I wanted most of all: to be free of all the pain, suffering, bipolar/PTSD and abuse I’ve endured for over 30 years. People called me selfish. Maybe so, but when you’ve lost everything that mattered, everyone you loved, even though they didn’t love you, being abandoned, rejected, your brain fucking with you on a daily basis, and you fight every single day to get through it, death is the only way out. I’m done with shrinks, the […]
No words can ever express THE FULL EXTENT of how fed up and done with this steaming pile of dogshit we call human society, on this rock, in this universe with these laws of physics, as I am. I’ve surpassed the thin boundaries of apathetic, I am a void with human form. The unbelievably idiotic things I hear people say and think on a regular basis make me want to use a metal baseball bat to smash their heads in. The gene pool is polluted by people who should’ve been strangled several times over already. Fuck they’re dumb as rocks.
Maintain, maintain, maintain, maintain, and maintain. […]
My mind and soul are tired of this game.
My heart hurts deeply and is full with lots of pain.
Many thoughts run through my mind, hoping I can find the secret to live a happy life.
After my searching is done, I always open my eyes to the dark and find myself thinking ….oh I’m fucked!
Fucked because I know there is nothing for me.
No smiles ….no laughing….no comforting dreams.
No light at the end of the tunnel and no angels to take me home.
Only a knife down my arm, the blood turns cold.
A hole full of darkness were they don’t […]
is superhero real exist ?
are superheroes real exist ?
is superpower or magic real exist ? (like in those cool movies, games, comics, novels, books, anime / manga, etc) ?
you know, like in those ‘cool’ superhero movies : X-Men (X Men), Superman, Thor, Spiderman, Iron man, Captain America, or in those ‘cool’ fantasy / sci-fi (sci fi, science fiction) movies : Harry Potter, Narnia, Lord of the Rings, Avatar, TRON, or games like Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, etc etc ..
otherwise, fuck this boring reality / real world / real life !!
I hate reality, I hate life , I hate this very *LIMITED* & […]
“I think I saw you in my sleep, darling,
I think I saw you in my dreams you were
Stitching up the seams on every broken promise
That your body couldn’t keep.
I think I saw you in my sleep.” -La Dispute, Such Small Hands
I’m 19 and constantly thinking of suicide. How I’ll do it, that which will trigger it, and sometimes I wonder how people I knew would react to it. My reasons are nothing new and if anything, are probably shallow. What I assume would cause me to finally take those last few steps into the grave that I wish to lay in, […]
Why movies is better & more interesting than this boring Reality / real world / real life ?
Why video games is better & more interesting than this boring Reality / real world / real life ?
Why novels is better & more interesting than this boring Reality / real world / real life ?
Why comics is much better & more interesting than this boring Reality / real world / real life ?
Why anime/manga is better & more interesting than this boring Reality / real world / real life ?
in conclusion :
Why human’s IMAGINATION is better & more interesting than this boring […]
I’m 14. I wanna die. This isn’t some “oh my mom took my Xbox I’m so fuckin depressed” . No. Im not like that. I’ve been battling depression for about 8 months. And im just done. Im tired. I wish nobody would care about me so I could just go. But people do care. My adopted family. Aka my friends. One is basically my sister. The other is my homie. They care. They’re only ones. They’d miss me, but wouldn’t be too hurt, I think. They’d move on. They’re all I got, but im not all they got.
I simply don’t want to continue living. There […]