I have hated myself since I can remember. I always thought I was worthless. I remember looking at myself in the mirror when I was 5 and thinking ‘I hope my face changes and looks better when I grow up’. I’ve never fit in with anyone and I cry a lot. I feel like my body is a prison and I would do anything to be free. Suicidal thoughts take control of my life when I am on a low. I can’t get rid of them. I’ve had these thoughts since I was 10 years old. I battle myself constantly and it’s exhausting. Only my […]
The depression break downs I seem to experience are coming back more and more this week. Yesterday I was just so depressed I couldnt pull myself up. I got up to take my medicine and ended up just laying in the floor. It just felt like it wasnt worth getting up to survive. My fight with my dad is getting no better. Hes still choosing his wife/ex-wife (its complicated) over me. My mom keeps saying Karma comes around..he`ll regret it when hes older. Thats not good enough to me. I dont want to wait. I want him in my life now. Its just frustrating
As much as […]
uhm, I’m new to this sort of thing, so, Hello, I have been reading some entry’s today. What sparked my interest in finding this site is that my mother and father are giving me a hard time, my Grandfather died yesterday of a stroke and things before where quite good. Now all of a sudden my friends are leaving me alone, my mother is out to make my bedroom a prison for me and I have so much anger and hatered that I have been keeping in check for a long time.
Im 16 years old, the guy I liked has abandon me, my Grandfather is gone, all […]
Before you decide to take your life, imagine who will find you. Imagine them walking into a room, and seeing you just hanging there. Whether it be your little sister, little brother, mother father, grandparents, a friend. Imagine what will happen when they find you. No, they will not say “Finally, they’re gone.†No, they will not say “I’m happy they did that.†No, they will not say “I never loved them anyways.†They will die. Their hearts will break. They will hurt, more than you […]
You know those times you feel like nobody is listening or you’re all alone and you just wanna give up?! I do.
I feel like that all the time and i can’t help thinking as if suicide is the only way out. I’m NOT that typical girl whose life is soooo sad and everything is dark.I have people called family that love me and care for me BUT, don’t get me.Everybody thinks I’m okay and that everything will be fine. But no they’re wrong they see the happy silly little girl that i used to be until Middle School happened. Until i found out the truth […]
Ive been trying to get help from my so called friends for so long but its useless. Im pretty sure I just lost one by telling her about being suicidal. She told me she couldnt take the stress I was giving her and that I was burdening her with my depression. I have like three friends now and I feel horrible for messing up someone’s life with my problems. I dont get it, I thought when you needed help you were supposed to be able to ask your friends for it. So here I am in my downward spiral with its ever increasing slope, I […]
Against suicide that is.
Why is it considered to be an actual problem that ‘must be stopped’?
It’s that one person’s choice whether they live or die and that is where the option should rest. Outside interference shouldn’t exist.
I don’t understand why so many people are so horribly against it.
I do understand why they may not like it and may want to help someone, but I don’t get why some people attempt to stop a person completely from their decision.
Especially strangers.
Do they feel sorry, or do they just want to do their good deed of the day?
Yes, my complaints are obvious and have probably been expressed hundreds […]
my name is not that important but just for making it more human, it may be jeriko.
i constantky since years like with something i call “the dark”.
the dark is that part of me that constantly arise rage, hate and will of suicide … and for what i know he has a plan.
first he made me break with some friends, thne made me deaf to listening suggestions, then he isolated myself from reality.. and i guess that now reached its ultimate target, unlock all “breaks” that keep a normal person from doing stupid things.
i call them stupid but not as disrespect, but […]
hi.sorry for my bad english beacause it’s not my first language.
i’m from turkey .i’m 21 years old male and i am(was?) university student .i have AD/HD(focus problem) and serve social anxiety. ihave gone to doctors here they gave me some drugs like fluxetin and propranol and some others but all of them were useless.also my doctor told me nealy all of my problems are from fear from soicety.
i came to this site about 3 month age searching about suicide and now i’m some kind of addicted to it. i check it every day and i don’t know why!!
all of my life i […]
underage high schooler living with  a clinically depress/paranoid mom.
everynight around 11pm-8am my mom would have these urges to freak out/cry/yell. the things I hear is that everyone treated her like crap. she would look in the mirror and yell at herself how she gotten so ugly as a person. the “freak outs” have been going on for a year. it’s getting financially and emotionalbad worst. let’s say, if tmrw I loose everything I own I won’t be surprise. I’ve been clinically depress since the 7th/8th grade. so far I’ve attempted suicide twice. ended up in the hospital and depression center both times. seriously I think […]
This feeling of emptiness is swallowing me whole. My depression is getting worse and now the thoughts are taking hold in my mind, they are forming ideas and shaping into reality.
I hate these feelings. I see suicide as a relief. Something that would take the pressure out from my stupid life and give me a sense of comfort. I want to be relieved. I want to disappear. I want to die.
Hi my name is faith I’m 16. I’m depressed and have conteplated suicide many times, but never went through with it. I’m depressed I cut myself.I’m probally every teenager.I get depressed all of the time. My first insident of cutting myself was when I was 12. My friends did it so I though I was ok. I would do it in the middle of class and was never seen. Or if I was nobody cared enough to say anything. That just made it worse. My friends saw me do it infront of them and never tried to help me. I’m now 16 and I do […]
My girlfriend is leaving for camp right now, for a week, with no communication and without me. I’d love to go with her – I tried to, but my parents lagged signing me up for the camp, until finally we missed the deadline.
My parents keep telling me, “It’s only a week – you two spend too much time together anyway, you’ll survive,” but that doesn’t stop me from crying. I love her, and I miss her. We rely on each other to take care of each other, since both of our lives are overwhelming shitpiles. Just the thought of a week with absolutely no communication with her kills me inside.
I know she’ll come […]
i cant do it
i cant love you
i cant…
i cant….
you always said i CAN.
i COULD.
but i couldent.
i never could.
you were dragged to prison.
two years later jail.
because of her.
she LIED!
how could you have loved her?!
i visit you all the time
i have nothing to say.
if i said whats really “up”,
it would be this:
hey uncle tom! yeah i have been cutting myself, making nooses, trying to drown and suffocate myself, posting things on a website called fucking suicide project, and whining about my depression! hows your time going?
but i cant.
it has been SEVEN YEARS!!!!
I miss you, is all i can say.
When I found this site I was closer to suicide than I have ever been. How close is that? I can’t really be sure.
A few hours later, shit doesn’t seem so grim.
This is the first time I have really gone out of my way to find people who feel like me. I always knew there were people who thought like I did, but there’s something comforting about seeing other people’s thoughts put on display. Amazing website here.
i hide the pain with the wall i built and the smile i put on everyday……
but when my wall breaks and my smile turns upside down…..
that’s when i think about suicide.
will i be here for today or tomorrow?
or will they win?!
I feel like that again. Like all I can do is cry. And be depressed. And hate myself. My tears feel like razor blades. My heart aches. Yet again, I’m not who I seem to be. I’m empty. I’m scared… I want to be gone, so no one has to deal with the pathetic excuse for a person that I am. And so I can be done with this. Disgust is the only thing I see in myself. I’m the one who made myself like this. And there is no way to fix me. I depend on pills to keep me alive, to numb my […]
I am still here. I have released this negative energy from me, for now. I still have my hiccups, and that’s normal. I’ve meditated and asked for love to fill my heart. I’ve asked for my heart to relinquish all forms of hate, guilt, and envy; because I have no room for those things. Most of all, I have begun to forgive myself for the loss of a dear friend. We all need ourselves to heal emotionally and spiritually. I have a dream of healing others…I want to save as many people as I can and pay my respects to those I could not…This is […]
tomorrows my moms birthday and while i can say i will smile and be happy on the outside thats only part of the truth but ill be crying on the inside. I havent decided if im ready to die yet ecspecially since i never seem to get it right I know if i really was ready id go to the bridge and jump off. I guess im at the point were i still do want help even though no help has been the right help. My therapist i feel like i havent talked to her in years. The last two times i saw her once […]
For 3 years now I have really liked this guy. (gonna call him Bob) I got his number at a party and started texting him. We wrote notes to eachother, went to movies, and the last few months he would come over so we could hang out. He considers us to be best friends, and tells me how crazy he is over this girl he works with. I want him to be happy, even if that means im not in the picture. But listening to him talk about other girls kills me and im too scared to tell him… Â I broke up with my first […]