It’s taken me my whole life to realise that have never been “happy.” I was never happy as a child, tween, and now into my teenage years, my sad feelings have developed into anxiety, anorexia, self harm, and suicidal thoughts. I turned to drug use and alcohol. I still smoke and drink a lot. I have these sleeping pills and sometimes I just hold them and think about how easy it would be to just go. I am disgusted by my body and spirit. I think sometimes, it’s not worth living if I can’t even love myself. I have been trying to like […]
Tag:
Teenage Years
I fucking hate my life. So I shit around, help other people with their lives in order to forget about my fucked up life… I know that won’t change anything, but I hate my life. I loathe it. I want to give up. I want to fucking give up everything. I can’t decide nor choose anything in my life. It’s all fucking manipulated by my parents even after highschool graduation. I hate living. I hate my family, I hate everything that is me. I just want to fucking kill myself. I a fucking useless shit infested with self-hatred. The judges won’t like me. I won’t […]
So i decided to share my suicide story with you. Â I am 26 year old male from Europe. I had on-off strong suicide thoughts since my early teenage years. I hate myself a lot. i don’t think i should live on.
The reason for that is that i always end up in some really bad, shitty situations. Mostly due myself and my own stupidity, Â laziness or my weak character. I mostly live from one emotional disaster to an other, some shit always happens to me, and i freak out and can’t take it easy. And i effect people around me, a lot of people got […]
When i was about two years old, my mum left me in a small house with an 11 year old babysitter for a whole weekend to get drunk.
I remember people telling me that i would have been in care if it wasn’t for my Dad, although now that i’m growing into my teenage years he doesn’t pay any attention to me. I live with my Nan and Granddad. My Granddad is maybe the only person i appreciate, along with my best friends. I obviously love my family, but i feel awkward around my Dad, and my Nan’s constantly drunk and angry, and she’s spending all […]
I’ve been obessed with suicide and death since before my teenage years
written by Thebutteryflyeffect
Mostly started at 9 I truly dont want this life never did.
Hello.
Let me just start out by saying my life has been shitty since my teenage years. I started really feeling these types of feelings when I was 13. It was bad, really bad. My family life was not great and I had no social skills. I wasn’t abused, mistreated or any of the like. I just didn’t really develop those social skills you need to succeed in life. I started having these thoughts at 13 and it progressed as I got older and nothing really improved. There was something in the back of my mind which kept telling me things will get better, don’t give […]
1. I am healthy.
2. I eat well.
3. I sleep well.
4. I have a very small social group around me. Very small, but they lift my mood. They make me laugh. They make me enjoy. I do not have a family, or love, but that is okay.
5. I am going to college soon. There is a long path stretching ahead. It may be dark and twisting, but at least it is not a dead end.
Even though recently I have been feeling a bit sad. I just realize how people have boyfriends and girlfriends, how people can fall in love, make life meaningful. How people have parents, […]
Its been over a year since I attempted suicide and I am still struggling with some aspects of my experience. I decided to participate in this project because I think that suicidal people need a voice to speak about their experiences with, especially since there is an onslaught of media messages and peer pressure that distorts perceptions of suicide. Since I came through my attempt, I have decided to talk about it and hope that my story helps others, so here goes.
I’ve been suicidal for years. My Mom said that moodiness and sadness were all part of being a teenager and that it would pass, […]
I know I’m only 19 and I have a lot of growing up to do, but I feel as if there’s no future for me to look forward to. I had a very hard life growing up, I had to deal with both physical and verbal abuse at the hands of my mother. I never received hugs, kisses or I love you’s from my mother. She rather beat the shit out of me everyday call me names like stupid, heffer, ungrateful and dumbass. My bi-o dad is not in my life.i haven’t seen the man I should call daddy since I was 2. He and […]
Life is hard. And most of the time I can’t take it anymore. I’m not saying my life is the worst but I’m not saying its the best either. On the outside to my closest friends and to family I seem fine, okay. A happy go lucky girl thats enjoying her teenage years. A girl who smiles an laughs a lots. A girl that can hold her own and can never be beatin or brought down. I seem strong. But the real me, the real me is weak. A weak scared confused girl. A girl who is so use to faking her happiness she forgot […]
I used to have a few really good friends that i go to school with. They’ve either moved or we’ve had a falling out. Now i’m stuck by myself, with no one to go to… Today was the first day of senior year. It’s supposed to be the best year of your teenage years, right? Well. I could tell you otherwise. I walk in the class.. and i’m alone. Everyone’s in their own little cliques and i’m sitting in the back, alone. I’m not the most outgoing girl ever, i’ve been this way since i can remember… always the “quiet girl”. I didn’t really know […]
This is such a weird, yet brilliant website. A place to explore each others internal thoughts, without having to know each other’s name. Reading each post here, I know more about some of these normally unheard people than the people who spend every day with them. Maybe some of the users of this website get annoyed by the use of this website by teenagers, sadly like myself. Anyone who has been through teenage years will blame it on hormones. “Everyone feels the same at your age” “This is normal” “Everyone goes through hard times in their teens” and I’m left feeling no better than I […]
I’m nearly 20 and I’ve spent all of my teenage years miserable, incredibly lonely and really bored of living. I’ve not wanted to be alive for around 5 years and the thought of having to spend more time alive is just awful, especially having to spend more time watching people the same age as me enjoy themselves. Why should anyone have to continue to live when they don’t want to?
So my roommate dared me to post my story, my whole story. He doesn’t think it’s that bad. I think it’s horrible. And I don’t want to live much longer a life that isn’t mine.
I’d say I had a fairly ‘normal’ up bringing. I had a really close family that was always supportive and loving. Never any abuse in my family of any sort that I am aware of. We had traditions, etc. I have been experiencing signs of depression since the age of 12 or so (I am 31 now.). I have always been a computer savvy person, and have had computer jobs during […]
It is ‘down’ town tonight here [on the other side of the world from most of you]
I guess most people realise eventually that they’re totally alone, it’s how much that reality gets to you and how long you have it going through your head.
I’ve had clinical depression on & off most of my life, my wife just doesn’t get it, sharing it with ‘friends’ it ends up consuming the relationship, my kids have seen all their teenage years watching me struggle along.
The only thing I’d like from here is somehow to connect a bit, have some things in common with others, like i feel i […]
4 years ago due to a stress induced issue during a relationship which may sound cliche but there was a large variety of issues which had piled on top of me and caused it.
i made a break attempt at well…..ending it all……obviously i cant go into details of what i did but its  a horrible thought that the only reason i woke up in hospital was because the bottle ran dry and i ran out things to swallow and i hadn’t broken the skin far enough….
Now given i was heavily inebriated when this venture occurred which didn’t help at all, i only have two memory’s from A&E firstly telling the nurse i didn’t want my family informed and […]
Hi everyone. This is the first time I’m writing on here. I’m a 24 to man looking just for some chat and maybe some advise. Off the bat I would like it to be from someone older then myself cus with age comes wisdom. I lead a normal life. I’m in school to be a paramedic. I work a decent job and have a good home life. The only problem I’m having is my gf left me rescently. I know it shouldn’t bother me to this extreme. I’ve lost girls before, got upset and moved on. But for the first time in my life […]
i’m just tired. i literally came today to a point where i wanted to seriously die. i kept trying to hold my tears back. and i was frusstrated.
i haven’t cut myself in 4 years but today i cut my arm to remember that feeling. the feeling that calms me down.
i spend my teenage years babysitting
monday/tuesday: Â Â Â 9am-10pm
wednesday: Â Â 9am-5pm
friday: Â Â 2pm-10pm
saturday/sunday: Â Â Â 9am-5pm.
babysitting a baby with down syndrome, a 2 year old and a 9 year old isn’t easy. Â sometimes even other kids.
i never have time for myself.. not even for a simple hang out with a friend. my mom always has […]
I have been alive for a little over 15 years  now.  I’ve laughed countless times, smiled the majority of my life, and cried when it seemed appropriate.  Yet I’ve rarely done any of these with emotion.  I’ve been alive for over a decade and a half but I can’t think of a single time when I was truly living.
I started to realize that I was empty, and that emptiness was suffocating.  It was a tangible force, crushing me to the ground like gravity.  I wanted to feel something…  maybe love or at even agony, just anything but this hollowness inside of me.  I want to be able to […]
It a bit hard to sum up ones failures in life in a quick way however I will try my best; thanks to everyone that reads it,
Basically I was abused and neglected emotionally as a child sometimes physically- my mom tried her best to make me as wimpy as possible as she is a social retard who attacks and sabotages her children when ever she can and will attack anyone displaying any sort of healthy self esteem, she’s also a drug addict although not a ‘hard’ one a medicated and tobacco one. I have no idea why she does this and she has a completly […]
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