I’ve had enough with my life now, with the past three years being hellish for me as I have experienced bullying for no reason other then being me, lost many of my friends because I stood up for myself when no one else would and lost my best friends due to love. Having a stutter doesn’t make life easy but instead singles you out as a target for bullies and being shy and not telling anyone of the bullying it ends up going unnoticed but in feb 2013 one person was being ageessive towards me while playing football as he kept punching me in the […]
Tag:
telling
Note the sarcasm in that post? Yeah. Loaded.
I am bringing him up on workplace harassment charges. Today I learned, in addition to him calling me a dumbass in front of everyone, that he’s been telling the guys I work with that he and I were VERY intimate. Uh, no. Never happened. Not even close. So now I know why I few of the guys are being suspiciously nice, and why the one very religious guy almost literally runs away at the mere sight of my face. Let’s make this clear, I’m a virgin, not a goddamn whore. I get promoted because I work my ass […]
He said he’d never leave me. When he left, he said he’d never be with someone else. He said I was the only he’d ever want, but that he couldn’t handle my mood swings. He left. He has still been texting me here and there playing with my heart and giving me false hope. The other day I got a text from his number calling me a *****, a filthy whore, and so many other names. It was his girlfriend apparently. He had moved on..I am so destroyed. I feel so empty and dead. She was telling me to leave him alone and said that he told her all […]
here I am laying in bed after a night of almost no sleep like every other night since ive been on these pills…im just to weak to move anymore its only a matter of time before my “sister” comes in yelling calling me names telling me to get up but I dont have the strength anymore im looking for a way to end this life,ive tried overdosing but that didnt work so I need something worse I dont care anymore if people are upset if I die because if they cared they would try to understand my pain but they dont even talk to me […]
what exactly are we meant to do when the world is pushing so many of us away? This is meant to be our souls temporary homes, our bodies are meant to be our temples yet we despise them, hurt them, try to mold them into something they are not. Â so many of us feel as if we have ruined any chance of happiness we had in this life but is that true? Â Sometimes I feel it is, and there’s a voice telling me it’s not, but sometimes I feel it isn’t and there’s an even bigger voice telling me it certainly is. So many that […]
At work I’m supposed to fill out these safety cards, basically saying that I saw a co-worker doing something safe or unsafe. Theres a drawing where you can win a gift card and other stuff. Well, I’ve got to fill out two a week at least. I already did a “safe”one, so today I just wanted to get my “unsafe” card out of the way. Well, guess who I happened to see go outside without his orange vest on. What’s that? My ex, you say? You’re quite right, you smart cookie, you. So I write him up the card, give the info half to my […]
Floating, staring at the sky,
telling myself I should try.
Can’t lose anything, or can I?
Am I afraid of her reply?
Will she say forever good bye?
What to do, but sigh;
I’m not that kinda guy,
just quiet and shy.
In the blink of an eye
last chance passed by.
What’s left is tears to cry,
and asking myself why
am I so bloody shy?
we’re just
suicidal people
telling other
suicidal people
that suicide
isn’t the
answer.
my ex is right back at it again. Yesterday I was working in the fuel station, and apparently he kept telling customers and co-workers alike how horrible of a person I am. It got so bad that someone from the service desk called me down at the kiosk to warn me of what Alex was doing. shitty thing is, I can’t really do anything about it
Why the FUCK can’t my ex leave me alone? I check my cell after work to see if my mom called, and saw a voicemail. Naturally I thought it was my mom, calling to tell me that she was already there, waiting to pick me up. Nope. It was fucking Alex. This time he kept how he loved me, and he’s sorry for leaving me when I was ready to kill myself that night, and how he’s sorry for calling me a ***** ass ****. Then he started saying he loved me, and how it’s hard for him, and how he thought he should apologize […]
I just can’t trust one of my friends.They keep going to the school guidance officer and telling him every little bit of information I tell them about me.I am really getting sick of , yesterday one of their parents actually rang the deputy principal and told him I was gonna hurt my self, I never even said that to anyone so where are they getting that information from.Today my mum got a phone call from the guidance officer saying that one of my friends parents printed out pictures of things I posted on Instagram, why can’t they just mind their own business and stop making […]
something is going on with my body. this new “fun” thing just started. i am having trouble speaking-getting tongue tied. people talk to me and i can’t understand what they are saying. sounds like gibberish to me. i am shaking like crazy. the weakness i have been having has spread to the rest of me. feeling like i am watching myself from afar. i am drifting away . making myself invisible . having a lot of trouble concentrating on what it is i am doing. feeling anxious about leaving my house. i know i should go in to see my shrink. it is obvious the […]
for some reason. the music artist Eminem knows exactly what to say.
hes a roll model to me.
i dont care about his past. and things that he has done.
he just gets to ppl. (i think)
hes the only person that knows how to keep my head up
i just listin to his music and listin to see what he went through and i think to my self i dont have that and if he can keep everything going then can i.
he talks about his life. and how he gets through it telling you to keep your head up to. and gives advise!
if […]
especially at work. I was talking to my friend who’s a cashier, and I ended up telling him that a friend of mine said I should start dating again. Apparently my ex was listening in and now he’s all sad and pissy with me because he think’s I’m over him. I’m BEYOND over him. What I’m wondering is why he gets to have an opinion, when I wasn’t allowed to care that he kept telling me that the barista at the starbucks where we had our first date is hot, and how his friend in las vegas thinks he’s cute and wants to go and […]
So today I found out that I’m failing a class. I’m so disappointed and ashamed in myself cause I used to be the girl in the front of the room telling you the answer to problem 7 and earning good grades. Now I’m the girl in the back of the class room asking you for the answer to number 7 and receiving bad grades. I get told constantly that I could do better , but when I try my best can still get improvement.
I get told to ask the teacher for help but I don’t want to. 1. Because I feel dumb and ashamed, and […]
I made a mistake today. I’ve made a lot of mistakes. Today was just another one, an additional one. I had been getting closer and closer, further and further, and I reached it. Not entirely though, it was the beginning of the end. I stopped at the beginning. It would make Him unhappy, completely torn and deeply upset. I love Him. I do. But, sometimes I get frustated in my life. My whole life is filled with frustration, 2/3 of it.
I work, and work. Oh, and wait ! … I work. I go to the university, I go to work, I have to go […]
To anyone on the outside looking in, I have a good life. A well paid job in which I hold a senior position; a long term partner with whom i have a gorgeous 4 yr old; a nice home in a quiet, cosy community.
But the turmoil inside me is indescribable. That well paid job? I’m close to losing it because my various depression symptoms are impeding my ability. That long term partner? I’m scared to talk to him about how I feel because he just keeps telling me to suck it up and get over it. My gorgeous child? She is the only reason I’m […]
…You know what, despite everything I’ve done to myself, I’m done with myself, because I hate myself. I’m only living now for others, I’m living because they want e to, I’ve been feeling like this for quite some times now after it went away it seems to come back again and I’ve not been able to tell anybody about it. to get by, every day seems like four days and every night seems like I’m fading into a black hole to despair and doom again, I’m not ready to surrender to people for being myself, but I am willing to surrender myself up for […]
as long as these new voices aren’t telling me to hurt people, I think I can deal with them
Every time I close my eyes I see my self doing something I can’t possibly imagine ever doing. It’s as if death is the only way I could ever become happier. Suicide is something I would always be afraid of. Not until this year did I ever imagine it would be possible and not until about last month did I ever actually try it. Sometimes I feel like pills and blades and alcohol are my only friends, until I wake up bleeding or not remembering anything I did. Granted, I do have friends and family who love me but there words of encouragement are sometimes […]