Sometimes when I mentally torture myself I actually feel God but right now it’s torture because I’m at the exact theatre where I watched a movie with the love of my life. And it was a he. I’m depressed sad angry. Idk anymore. If I died I’d be happy hopefully a better life afterwards. Sometimes I wanna die so bad sometimes I think an think what I could’ve done better. I have a plan that will put me in a place where I can no longer hurt anyone. There’s no God no Jesus Christ. Only a devil who lives to torture us. I’ve revoked my […]
I Dont know what to do anymore my life’s fucked no one cares about me and they say they do but it’s all lies! I’m a 15 yr old girl and I get used all the time boys use me say they love me then do stuff with me and dump me I want to start valueing myself more buy all I ever think is why would anyone want to b with me they can do better an that’s because I hate myself · I was really close with my nan and grandad and they got put into a care home recently an I feel […]
God is boring . boring God .
why human’s imagination & fantasy is better than God boring reality ?
why God is boring ?
I hate this world . I hate this life . I hate life .
This world is so boring , boring world !
This life is so boring , boring life ! life is boring .
Why movies , games , anime / manga, & fantasy / imagination is better than this world / better than life / real life / real world / reality ?
everyday life is the same : wake up, eat, go to school/work, boring, then go back home, […]
I keep having dreams where she kills herself, and I wake up feeling as if the world had ended. The crushing weight and anxiety on my chest is too much to bear. Seeing her alive and well makes everything better and soon I forget the dreams but then they come again and I see her, then I wonder for how long all of this will last before the dreams come true, it would kill me. I dint want to even think about it but in trapped in this cycle now
Yes its true, we made a vow
For better or for worse
You want my heart I’ll cut it out
And throw my veins in the dirt
For years and years I’ve kept my vows
Up until today
We both know its over now
But for my children I will stay
You say you hate me
‘Cause you think that you know what I’ve done
But its all crazy
knowing that she’s truely the one
I’ll listen to what you have to say
Just cut out my eyes
When you speak I hear her voice
Although my vision cannot lie
You say you hate me
‘Cause you think that […]
What do you do when you’ve been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder? How would you feel when a group of professionals call your behaviour attention-seeking?
Well let me tell you. First of all you begin to dissect every single aspect of your life. That comment you just made to your friend – was that just an attempt to steer the conversation towards you? The anger you felt when your friend turned up fifteen minutes late. Was that because of a deep insecurity about your own importance in the world? Do you believe that time itself should stop for you? Those conversations you have had with mental […]
think again really. I think we’re all here for a reason. WHY? are we put here? on this earth. I’ve always questioned myself that. there are 3 main things to happiness in this life:
1- HEALTH
2- FAMILY(OR FRIENDS- OR EVEN JUST ONE FRIEND), so therefore:
3- LOVE
If you have those things, rethink things over. the good things in life happen whenever they need to happen. it sounds even annoying to say, but its the truth.
this is my story I hope it helps someone feel better : Social Anxiety Disorder, Homosexuality,Suicide
suicide thoughts come and go everyday for me. but… still here. […]
so my best friend has been really quiet for the past month and i just found out why. a kid in out grade tried to rape her on night. i was shocked when i found out. yeah the kid was kinda weird but rape? i didn’t think it could happen in our small town. to my best friend. i had done all i could trying to make her feel better and tell me what was wrong before i found out. i set up a scavenger hunt in her house for her, i told her that i was there if she ever needed to talk. but […]
Sometimes you have to stop listening to hear.
Today I found myself playing 8 distinct songs at once. Listening to a particular song in the sea of noise is actually quite easy. But when I tried to hear all at once, I couldn’t. As I tried to listen to each song individually, yet together, the more focused I became. And the more I failed. Soon songs, my hearing, became periodic and stuttered. Sure, I could hear a few songs together easily. But when I tried to pickup the fourth and fifth… Either I lost one of them or things became disjunct. I became bound by time […]
I’m sorry if this is weird, but I was thinking and I’m not sure how much I’ll really want to say when I see you tomorrow, but right now I feel like talking so I think I’m going to try and tell you some things now so you basically know whats happening.
So I started taking my anxiety medication and I don’t think it’s working at all. In fact I think I’ve been getting a lot worse. I keep shaking like whenever I get anxious or nervous I can’t breathe, I can barely talk and my jaw starts shaking and it looks like I’m shivering. […]
Today makes 11 years since i last saw you. 11 whole years since i walked out of your apartment and got into mom’s car. 11 years since you followed me out to tell me you loved me. 11 years since i last looked at you standing in front of me, 11 years since you loaded a gun and ended our lives. i swear i went with you when you died. who i was back then, that girl that loved life and people. that girl that wasnt full of sadness so deep that it literally radiates out into physical pain. i wonder what i would be […]
i wish everybody on here and everybody in the world felt nothing but happiness at all times I wish there was no such thing as mean people I feel like if you really think about it most people’s sadness has to do with other people’s actions I just need for this world to be a good place I need to not raise my kids when I’m older to live in a place so depressing and fucked up I just need happiness and I need to be better at wording my thoughts because I sound like a little girl on here who isn’t making any sense
I have done many substances in my short 22 years on this planet , overdosing several time. From coke to pills , but by far the easiest was heroin.
my friend shot me with a huge dose and I immediatley lost all connection with reality. I could not feel my body I could hardly see , I couldn’t hear or taste . My senses were literally taken from in an instant. You would think this sensation would he scary but thankfully I remained somewhat oblivious to my state. Looking at the panicked expression on my friends faces. My conscious was pushed to the back of my […]
Just when you think things are looking up and getting better, life finds a way to deepen the pain. Am I being tested? Is this some cruel joke? I’m getting exhausted fighting on each day to avoid hurting my parents and friends. I like to imagine they’re just pretending to care to make it easier for me to go, but I know it isn’t true. I started praying to God again for help, something I haven’t done in 3 years. Things have only gotten worse since then. Maybe I just want to believe that I’m not in control of my own destiny, because me in […]
Here is what I dreamed last night, unedited, unabridged (However, I left out the first hour about go, nodejs and perl over at Joel’s house).
Going down for a tour of a nuclear plant. Gary, Joel, Ryan, Ben and Me.. Its a
long way down. Gary decides to take a shortcut in the vehicle we are in. soon
we are flying through the air. More like Mario cart than anything else. Trying
to land back on the road, or so I think. We pass many on-comers, until soon we
look at each other in the back, realizing we are drifting further and further
from the road. […]
I don’t think i can live like this anymore, i’m losing my mind…i’m not living, this is not how life should be. I wish i was alive.
I’m considering jumping from the top of the building where i live at but i should wait until it’s dark outside…
Nothing makes sense now, this is weird
Everything blurs past in a haze. I’m not thinking straight, I’m barely thinking at all. Tears come to my eyes at the strangest of times. These rushes of sadness and loneliness are almost unbearable. When people ask why I’m crying I can’t explain, they’d never understand even if I could explain. People simply assume I’m looking for attention which of course I’m not and of course it also leads me into a deeper darker place. This is the point where the suicidal thoughts start to take over. I walk to a quiet place away from everyone. I smoke, but it’s not enough. That’s when I […]
First, there’s no such thing as a new person saying “I don’t know where to begin.” There is no place to begin, so saying that in your post means you’re overcompensating for using a different email. Second, if you talk about things that are not real, like buying happy pills or your fucking job, then you lose all credibility here. Third, every single person on earth hears voices it’s just that some people who love to judge and label things because they are afraid of not knowing things label and judge their voices to be somehow more special than self proclaimed normal people. The voice […]
At night time when I’m laying awake in bed I hear voices, I know they’re in my head but they aren’t like normal thoughts; they sound real and alive like someone’s speaking to me. It makes me confused thinking about it because they’re always right but they’re never things I’d personally say to myself or even think in my head. Most of the time they’re negative things, comments on my personality or how I look and act. Other times it’s like they’re trying to make me think that someone’s done something horrible or that I should do something horrible.
I guess I’m just overly confused about […]