What do you do with your time? Do you think it’s worth it? Im actually asking hoping for answers.
Alice says hey girl hey, Alice has a cliche question but Alice wonders what your thoughts are on this, Alice is curious to know if you people think that love can save someone from suicide Alice thinks so if it’s the right love in the right situation let Alice know what you people think
This is all I’ve ever known. Music. Music is the only thing that makes me feel anything, better even…..sometimes. Well growing up this way I only know how to deal with my emotions through it. Roger Rabbit by Sleeping With Sirens is my anthem. I think that in my note, if I leave one, this song with be written down for them to listen to. Maybe the lyrics will enlighten them a bit. People make fun of me for being so damn consumed with my music, but I don’t think they fully understand that lonely people do things that look “weird” Lonely depressed people do […]
As I sit here typing with shaky hands, I can only think of where I’ll wander when I die. I want to know what it’s like to not have a worry in the world, where the stresses created by my own mind cannot reach me. A fifteen-year-old mind should not be thinking this. But I have lost most of those I care about, either by death or by abandonment. I’ve tried time and time again to “just push through it” or “just be happy.” But it isn’t that simple. Not at all. I’m ravaged every night by nightmares that leave me screaming for someone, anyone. But […]
I’m so fuckin sick of people telling me I havent fucking tried. So fuckin sick of people saying I don’t put my “all” into it! So fucking INCREDIBLY sick of hearing, “you have to want it.” Oh, let me get this straight. You actually think I like to live every fucking moment in misery and agony? You actually think that I love to walk the streets and feel like I fucking disgust every person and that I’m a disgrace in their eyes? I mean as if it matters right? No, they don’t fucking matter but do you know how it feels to be paranoid into […]
I guess the only thing holding me back is the curious fear I have of whats next. Is there a heaven like all our grandparents say? Or is there just black nothing? Will I linger and watch the aftermath, because that just might be worse. To watch all the ones I love suffer…. but at the same time living is a burden to them. I don’t know….what do you guys think happens when we are set free?
Hey, you guys.
I’m feeling extra gloomy today, and this is the ony place I could think of.
I really wish I was dead already, and I wish I were stronger to just do it. I just can’t take it anymore, I’m at that point where you’ve lost absolutely all hope.
I think the only thing stopping me right now is the unbearable feeling that I will absolutely crush my folks’ heart forever. I realize how unfair it’d be to kill myself when they have done nothing but love me and support me all along. But tell me then, what am i suppose to do when they’re gone […]
I used to love you. But you fucking broke me. I can’t have one normal conversation with another human, I can’t smile. Can’t laugh! Because you broke me. You ****. I hope you rot and are miserable for eternities. I used to only be suicidal, now that’s changed into homicidal. I used to be sad, so sad. That’s gone now. I don’t feel anything, except ANGER now. Pure hatred. I think if it was my choice to let you live or die, i’d finally smile, watching you burn. I fall asleep thinking about, I dream about it. Dream of your death. I fantasize over it. […]
now I can spend more time thinking about how I’m falling apart without having to go through proxy websites to read the entries here.
That being said. I feel like i’m falling apart. I feel like i should be in the psych ward. I got a cut on my wrist but i don’t know how. I was washing my dishes on Sunday and I noticed it. it’s about an inch long and perfectly straight. I noticed because I’d started bleeding. I started looking at the my knives that i was cleaning to see if i had done it accidentally but i didn’t see blood on any […]
I don’t think it’s right to pray for anything you wouldn’t be willing to do yourself. So if you’re not willing to kill yourself, it’s probably not right to pray for death.
That said, I don’t always do what’s right. Sorry, God.
I feel like I’m too young to have these thoughts. I feel like I’m too lucky to think with this much feeling. To tell you the truth, I really don’t know anymore. I’m fourteen years old, I go to one of the top schools of the US (Oxford Academy of Cypress, CA), and I am having suicidal thoughts. This may seem like a optimal life, but sadly, it isn’t. Every day, every period, I don’t talk to people. Every lunch break, I sit in one of the bathroom stalls (Jesus, I’m pathetic). My parents are always deeply saddened by me, always declaring I’m a nuisance […]
Trying to tell myself not too.
This weekend is Easter and I’ll be visiting my family so it isn’t the best time to cut.
But every time I stop working or go to take a break it’s all i can think of.
There is just a quiet little voice in the back of my mind reminding me.
But i know it will only feel good for the fist few seconds.
Then I’ll cry and regret it.
Like I do every time.
I wonder if I’ll make it. I barely survive. I do not know what to do or who I truly am. I feel at the core of me jealousy for those who survive but also I need them to survive. I think they deserve everything they have and need, wish I could give them more.
This all feels meaningless when we think about the corners of our heart that keep wearing down, rounded by time, as rocks by the sea, to slide more seamlessly as the tides overwhelm.
I do not know that the love I have is enough to keep me here. I struggle and […]
What about that german pilot that killed 150 people. I shant think it was revenge or terrorism but more on the manic side
life is boring , boring life. why movies , games , anime / manga, & fantasy / imagination is better than life / real life / real world / reality ?
everyday life is the same : wake up, eat, go to school/work, boring, then go back home, eat, then sleep, then repeat again.
but movie / game / anime / manga / comics / books are much more exciting & interesting than this boring life !
for example: like in the world / universe of Harry Potter, Avatar, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, Marvel / Marvels, Avengers, X-Men, Divergent / Insurgent , Star Wars, The […]
Yes, I still think about you every day. Yes, I’m kind of masochistic.
It’s been almost a year from the last mail. Maybe four years from the last time I saw you.
I feel stupid. A little girl who can’t live without daddy. A kid who cries because daddy doesn’t love her.
Even if you caused me so much pain. Even if I remember all that fear I felt when you came home. And all those times you hurt me. Physically and psychologically.
I can’t help it. I still love you. I still wonder what you must be doing, if you’re sad, if you eat ok, […]
A.R.
Those initials will haunt me forever.
When you hear about me, will you be sad?
Honestly, I don’t think you will.
You said you wanted to move on from me. So this will only make it easier to forget me.
That really does get me down. But that would depress anyone.
Someone with whom you’d shared such a close bond, such a strong relationship just up and decides one day that you don’t matter enough to even remember.
And sure, I fucked up. I did things I shouldn’t have. I made mistakes. But were they that bad?
There’s just one question I’m dying to know. Ironic choice of words.
Do you think of […]
– So, do you think the pilot crashed a plane with 150 people inside just because he didn’t want to live anymore?
– Maybe.
– But how can you live knowing that you are causing all that pain?
– That’s the point. You don’t. You die.
Nothing’s fine. Never. But the worse thing is not seeing people. I don’t see people at work, and there’s only my mother at home.
Being all day alone is killing me. I try to call someone, just that I forget that other people actually have a life and won’t be available just because the world suddenly seems so hard to me.
I want a life too. I don’t want to spend the day with this sad me, thinking about how nothing is fine, stopping myself to call again, just swallowing the anxiety.
Uhm. Luckily I’ve got Fridays, when I’m with people for two hours, so I can […]