I just don’t understand how a depressed person could at first want to get better and eventually does start to feel better but then wants to be depressed again. Or how a person wants to be in a psychiatric hospital again, for the third time. I’m very curios as to why I feel this way. I can only come up with two explanations but I’m not sure if they make sense. Well one is I think because I only know myself best when I’m depressed and that’s my “comfort” zone. And two is because at hospitals I get attention and I feel […]
Tag:
Third Time
Hi my name is Aurora and I’m going to turn 19 soon. Since I was a little girl I’ve suffered from depression. I remember my frist suicide attempt was when I was around the age of 7 to 9. I tried to suffocate myself with my blanky by stuffing it down my throat, it didnt work. I continued on with my life miserable, but unaware that these feelings werent normal. My mother and stepfather abused me most of my life both mentally and physically. When I confronted my mom about the way she use to treat me she tells me to get over it or […]
My thoughts of suicide started when I was 13 years old.
 I made a friend through a connection with another friend, and she was awesome (at first). I found out a month into our friendship that she did drugs. I encouraged her to stop, but since she was 5 years older than me she was too self- absorbed to listen. So, one night she slept over my house, and curiosity got the best of me, and I tried the drugs. It was… wonderful, to say the least. So more ‘sleepovers’ were planned afterwards. If I can recall correctly, it was about the third time she slept […]
I wrote a post sometime last week. I am not sure of the date as it was mostly a blur.  The time came again. Last Tuesday at 5pm after countless minutes/hours/days/weeks etc etc of wondering if suicide was what I want, I tried to commit suicide for the third time. I popped a hell of a lot of panadol, drank some vodka and cut my wrist (again). This time I was going to be successful, I was bleeding everywhere (I had hit a vein) and I was slowly passing out. It was getting harder and harder to keep my eyes open. Then much to my disgust my mother […]
Older Posts