I’ve had an okay life, better than some worse than others I guess. Thirteen years of confusion, pain, anxiety, love, depression, loneliness, among many other emotions. Even from the start though I never saw the point in living, my first thought of suicide at the age of four; they weren’t too serious though, I was just wondering I guess. After that I didn’t really think much about suicide for a few years (I’m pretty sure), the next time was probably just occasionally during grades 4, 5 and 6 when I was getting bullied by people at school and persistently beaten up by my brother when […]
Tag:
thought
i hate asking people for help. I hate being a burden. I hate being the first to text. But i do all of those things anyways cause i cant help it and its better than being alone. My best friend is becoming a stranger. I just feel as though on a daily basis nobody at all cares. Its hard to live like this. Ive never attempted to take my life but ive thought about it more than you can imagine. Sometimes i almost have the courage to attempt but have never gone through with it yet. keyword yet. So, I just wish there was someone […]
It’s been some time since I last was here. Sometimes I just disappear for a while without telling anyone. Like a rabbit down in the rabbit hole. It’s comfortable, disappearing at once, for an unknown period of time. People don’t like me doing that, but sometimes I need that air I can only breathe underground, here and now.
Firstly, I’m sorry for my awful English. English is not my first language so … yeah, i just hope that my post is not so confusing. Well, here it is ….
I never know that I can make it.
I mean, I always thought that I will be dead by now. (I’m 23 years old and I always think about suicide even before my 7th birthday)
Ever since that “accident”, I always torn between to kill myself or to keep living in this hell.
I already prepare the tools (for suicide) too. I keep on thinking about the easiest way to end my life.
Before I reach my 9th year […]
I’ve been smoking cigarettes since I was in grade 7. Yep, that’s right, a 13 year old kid, smoking cigarettes. Now, I am in grade 9, and as much as I try to quit, I never can. I can’t get myself to not crave cigarettes anymore.
I always had thought that they would slowly kill me, but I guess they didn’t. They affect the way I do some things, like singing, or running – but they haven’t killed me yet.
Addiction is a hard thing to get over. Even now as I am writing this, my body is craving a cigarette. I know I need to […]
Her Blade
(Chorus)
Nobody sees behind her happy eyes
Nobody cares when she cries
Every night she gets out her blade
And she cries
Everyone says that that they care
But she doesn’t listen
Her voice tells her to not believe
To protect herself
(Chorus)
Nobody sees behind her happy eyes
Nobody cares when she cries
Every night she gets out her blade
And she cries
She says that she tries
But everyone knows that’s not true
She really doesn’t care anymore
She will be missed
Her mom walks in
To see her on the floor
With letters everywhere
And she cries
(Chorus)
Nobody saw […]
I never thought I’d consider suicide. I always thought that no matter how hard things got I would hold strong. I used to laugh and think, “Suicide is only for the weak.” However, I was wrong. I’ve kept all my past bottled up for years that I’ve begun breaking down as I recall memories I thought I had buried away. Maybe I’ve been depressed my whole life but never realized it…Now I can’t help but think that if I’m gone no one will have to worry about a useless waste of space like me. I can only laugh bitterly at the sad state I’ve ended […]
ob·ses·sion
?b?seSH?n/
noun
the state of being obsessed with someone or something.
“she cared for him with a devotion bordering on obsession”
an idea or thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes on a person’s mind.
plural noun: obsessions
“he was in the grip of an obsession he was powerless to resist”
So my short story is about obsession, not love. It’s kind of poetic, actually, or so I’ve been told. Read more here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1qzldTyxHx99uPfQ0Cdt-st5LwKzZ158d21aeP34IC68/edit
I truly do want to die. I feel bad for thinking it but I wonder since I reconnected with my mom if she would want to die too. She has more resources and could probably get ahold of a gun. I’m almost certain her religious beliefs keep her from any thoughts of suicide and she would never touch a gun either. I only thought of how she has nothing left the same as I have no reason to live. I can’t take the agony of being alone and never knowing what it’s like to hold someone I love. The man I love is still complaining […]
What can I say… I have been seriously depressed and in a lot of pain (emotionally) for well over a year… I am on anti depressants, but they just don’t help me thinking I have nothing to look forward to… I had the life, a good job, everything was going well for me, but suddenly I snapped… I couldn’t keep my job, became paranoid… And I just feel like crying everyday…
Has anyone recovered from this? My brother did, he was bad for about 2 years and I remember when he was going through it how little I thought about how serious it was and how […]
Its something I’ve been thinking about for a while, while depression is not a recent phenomenon it is something that has seen a staggering rise in recent years, among all age groups. Perhaps it is a natural product of our evolution. In previous centuries humanity was heavily orientated around physical labor, be it farming, construction or whatever. In those times i believe physical illnesses were higher, naturally i believe the heavy basses of the hole physicality of the time bread those physical issues. I think humanity has reached its point in the evolutionary chain where our physical self has evolved to close to its end […]
I think it’s sad when you learn you finally love someone.. that would be my father. I have taken him for granted, but yet again he doesn’t have a clue what it’s like to suffer with depression and anxiety. I can never talk to him. Before I was token away, I was daddies little girl.. no matter what he has done to my family or my mom. We’ve separated so much through the years.. I cant just go speak to him about it, it’s different..
I honestly don’t feel like anybody is listening.. but I like the thought. Done posting for tonight, I post too much.
The air suffocates me, room feels like a prison, city – like a cattle-pen. Any form of entertainment does not fill heart like it used to, it merely makes me forget my misery for a bit. And when I am alone – I can’t escape thought of suicide. No one have to love me. But still, I hoped that someone would. I tried to be a best person I could, but that was obviously not enough. I have a plan of easy death, still need some tests, though, to do it right. To avoid more pain, to avoid failure. But the plan calms me. I […]
so i just got cyberbullied by my friend he posted something on facebook and it was humiliating for me and the fact that he was my friend i didn’t do anything bad towards him and there’s other guy who helped him hes also a friend i did a lot for him now i dunno wht to do i am a good guy i never thought ill of anyone why did this happened to me i am crying for 2 days something i think i should die i am too innocent for this cruel world
So today I attended my sibling’s graduation ceremony and, for some reason, the thought of my future has never seemed to be… true. Whenever I imagine myself after high school, I literally cannot see myself being a college student, or living on my own, or having job, or even being homeless. It’s all blank. It makes me think that I will probably have gone through with my plans before high school even finishes. As I was thinking this during my sibling’s graduation, I looked up to the gloomy sky and thought, “Today is a beautiful day to die.”
have you ever hated someone so much that you wanted nothing more than to watch them die a slow and horrible death…
have you ever felt like there was no reason to let that person continue to live…
have you ever thought that maybe that person deserves to die…
have you ever hated yourself?
I need some help with this issue that has been making my life miserable. I hope someone knowledgeable will be able to advise me on what I need to do. I spent a very introverted life. I was a virgin while marrying. I found sex in marriage boring actually ! I couldnt make it pleasurable for her either. Then we got into some ego conflicts and finally separated. I lost my job too. I am unable to find another partner nor am I too keen as the wounds from my failed marruage havent healed completely. Now here is the strange issue. I have been […]
I need some help with this issue that has been making my life miserable. I hope someone knowledgeable will be able to advise me on what I need to do. I spent a very introverted life. I was a virgin while marrying. I found sex in marriage boring actually ! I couldnt make it pleasurable for her either. Then we got into some ego conflicts and finally separated. I lost my job too. I am unable to find another partner nor am I too keen as the wounds from my failed marruage havent healed completely. Now here is the strange issue. I have been […]
ok so im an atheist myself but i find it hard to understand why most atheists find it necessary to bash religious people is it that hard to except the fact that other people have just as much of a right to believe what they want as you do if you think about it in the long run we all have the same problem after death religious people will not if know they were wrong and atheists will not know if we were right and on the same note religious people will know if they were right and atheists will know if we were wrong […]
What’s more deadly? A gun or a thought? A gun gives you the opportunity, the thought pulls the trigger.