in order to overcome it you have to have hope that you can. On an unrelated,and quite weird note, sometimes i think about something and then i think about thinking about that something and my brain gives up. for instance i’m thinking about writing this while thinking about the other times when i thought too much and made my brain hurt. Ridiculous.
Hi there, fellow SP’ers!
We all woke up today, started a new day, and have been breathing up to this very moment, that you’re (hopefully) reading this. Keep it that way. I’ll try to.
I’m new here, had thought of joining the blog for some time now, after reading post after post and seeing how everyone supports and helps each other on here, and today I finally joined. So, you there reading this, just accept my gratitude for you being a part of this, because every person that has felt the way I do knows how to appreciate how big this is.
I’ll try to keep writing regularly. […]
I know nobody here reads my stuff but i still write hoping it helps my thought process. I told him everything sat night and of course he didnt take me seriously. I even had the gun cocked and ready and he just ignored me then took the gun when i had laid it down because i was crying. The next day he put it back where i had it like nothing happened. Why doesnt anyone take me seriously? Or am i that much of a failure that i really wont succeed in taking my own life either and its that obvious i suck at everything […]
well, we hugged for the first time on Thursday, then again on Friday but we didn’t hug today
Sorry I stole this from another post and just thought it was cute
how could you just do that … all i ever think about is you, and now I’m so lonely. i miss you with all my being. u never cared did you. you never ever liked me and i was just this stupid clingy thing that should just die in a hole. it was all in my head. i just can’t….believe it i guess. i can’t bear to accept it. I’m just tired….i really really…..i just.. I’m pathetic. its like all of that was a dream. it really is like it never happened now, isn’t it? there you go, on with life, and I’m just STUCK […]
I tried to kill myself about a month and a half ago. As a result, I was forced on a medical leave from my school, had to go back home where my parents make my condition a lot worse, and forced to speak to what feels like an endless amount of therapists and psychiatrists that neither know what they’re doing or care about me. I was promised a second chance after it happened, that I would get help, in my mind I thought maybe if I finally talked to my friends and family about it, things would get better. Instead, I’ve spiraled, I feel more […]
im new to this website, actually i dont have any suicidal intention ,yet im really in need to leave this world to somewhere better ,somewhere i wont see any humans .things are really getting bad evry year no progress in any side in my life .its been like 6 years now ,evryday i wake up i just wonder why do i have to go through all of this pain ,every day pass without me not crying and feeling helpless ,im not thinking of suicide at all because i beleive in my relegion .i cant see anything good on this earth everything depress me ,im so […]
There is an empty feeling that resides in my soul. I have searched every logical avenue to end this horrible feeling. I have been through hell and back, and as I look back the only reason I kept going was because I had meagre problems to overcome and each time I would succeed I would experience an acute sense of joy. I suffer from anxiety, depression paranoia you name it. Whether or not it was self inflicted from my history of drug abuse, traumatic events or my family history of mental illnesses or the potentiation of all of the above, this feeling is f*cked up. […]
I was thinking about the other night,  “Why did anything changeâ€, and I realised how it changed, I grew up and went into high school I thought it would be something I would love to be at but, to be honest, I didn’t think it’d be this hard. This hard to get up every morning and knowing something bad will happen, and most of the time I’m right. It sucks having to walk down those crowded hallways realising you’re different from everyone else because of your past, because of what you’ve done to yourself and what people think about you. Most of the things people […]
One thing i have come to realize from all my tries is that just because i want something, i am not going to get it. my very wanting stops me, my very wanting defeats me in the end. i slowly slowly get agonized from my lowly state. one day it gets too much and i get a burst of thought where i formulate a whole plan to get out. i start working according to the plan and start getting some success. agony starts ending and i no longer suffer in the same way. i realize this plan could only work when i am already in […]
The air around me is heavy these days. A faint mist of despair and dread obscure my vision wherever I walk. I hardly look at people as they pass me by. My footsteps echo in an empty world. I have constant pains in my stomach and I have to force myself to eat. No more sexual drive. No control of my emotions. The slightest thought, if tilted in the wrong direction, sends my ego tumbling to the ground to be shattered and I begin to weep at things no self-respecting person should.
This feeling, this darkness, I can feel it sitting inside me like a lead […]
This is my first post. I am 15, and always feel like I cannot escape the pain within my life. I have been raped, lost my grandmother, my father left me, I moved, I have been bullied since 5, very few friends, harassed, abandoned, misunderstood, and much more. I put myself before others more so than anything else, and I cannot bare to do otherwise. But I get hurt for doing such a thing. I support self defense, and I would do so if required, and sometimes I do want to, but I cannot think of myself doing such things to someone.
What did I do […]
Somedays I just lay in my bed staring at the walls in silence. I get so busy in letting my thoughts run that an hour will casually slip by, just like that. Sometimes two.
Staring at these white walls.
Not listening to music, not sleeping, not on my laptop, not even moving a twitch. I just let myself breathe in silence.
And I wonder adding up all those hours, adding into days, weeks of endless uselessness of nothing when I go to meet God will he damn me for these days of wasting my “precious” life he gave? The big man will ask me, why […]
So i decided i shall share my story with you all even though how difficult it is because i can never put words to how i feel or what i’m experiencing. So please bare with me..
NOTE: Some parts of my story may be a bit shocking to read but this isn’t a “feel sorry for me” post just so you all know a bit about my back ground but i wont go into detail as this is a bit personal for me.
Well i was a happy outgoing kid i had a wonderful childhood i lived out near the beach and i went to a lovely […]
I can’t even explain my feelings every night
I feel my heart aching as I turn out the light
Can’t shut my eyes, swollen from each tear
I never expect my thoughts to get this severe
Knife, scissors, pills all cover my desk.
All which can leave me very statuesque.
Thoughts erupt my mind about all I hate
I don’t know really if I want death to wait.
Each night I spend lying completely alone
When will it get better? it remains unknown.
Searching deep down to find me a reason
Why I keep living through this suicidal season.
Exploding with depression as I lie in my bed
This pain is too much, makes me wish I was dead.
These thoughts […]
“Ooooh…”
So i was sitting outside a while ago, enjoying a smoke at dawn, during a rather precipitous rain storm…
A faded flash behind the veil, an echoed crack of thunder in the distance…
Crossed paths with some memories, thought about where i’d left some things…
There’s a certain person who is always close inside, no matter how far removed from my physical life, who i just can’t help but think of, when it rains.
Or when it’s just cloudy.
Or when it’s sunny.
Or when it’s just a normal windy day.
I recalled a recurring theme i used to employ, as part of my previously favorable attitude and outlook that this person […]
why do we create a word that doesn’t exist? I mean right here, at earth perfection doesn’t exist theres nothing, no one and no where…
theres no perfect
only god
why do we invent that word?
“sorry for my bad english i’m from chile)
You Me At Six – Tigers And Sharks
Emarosa – Heads or Tails Real Or Not
10 – Short Stories With Tragic Endings
Sunlight creeps in through the gaps in the window blinds, covering the room in alternating strips of brilliant radiance and undefined shadow. It bares resemblance to this life. Fulgent memories of pain and suffering, with unremarkable and colorless […]
I guess I didn’t notice I loved you until you held my hand. I didn’t know you loved me until my friend told me what you said. But you don’t know me. You know me….but you really don’t. You think I’m perfect because that’s how I display myself. I make sure I smile and laugh. I make sure not to show any emotion I would regret latter. You just think you love me. You don’t, truth me. Once you find out, you’ll change your mind…they all do.
But if you want to know the truth, fine:
Yes, I do have scars I hide.
No, I’m not the girl […]
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