My kind of suicide isn’t suicide at all, as funny as that may sound.
The way I see it is that I don’t have to take my own life, life will take it for me. All I have to do is live. I mean, even if I get stricken with cancer I can be thankful I won’t live to an old age where I’m helpless, just get it over with. That’s worth the pain I think. I’ve seen an old friend die of cancer, in comparison to other ways one can go out, it didn’t seem that bad the way it hit him quick. And […]
I want to die. I keep hurting people, and I try my hardest not to. I try to show everyone how much I love them and how much I care, but I suck at showing emotions.
My ex cries every time she thinks about me because I hurt her so bad. We had so many problems. I tried to be perfect. I tried to be the amazing person she deserved, but all I did was fuck up and hurt her time after time.
My ex and I don’t talk anymore, but now I have a new-ish friend, and her and I […]
Everyone has troubles. It’s life. Everyone endures bullshit from time to time. Though some, in fact, are worse than others. I’ve never told anyone any of this before. And to be honest, I’m scared. I’m afraid of being judged. Of being misunderstood in my story. But I’ll tell you.
Here goes nothing.
I’m seventeen years old, and a senior in high school. I’ve always made decent grades, and am well liked by most people. I’m the funny chunky girl. Here’s the catch. I’m dying on the inside. I feel so.. broken. So lost. And to be honest, I’ve felt this way for years. I put a smile […]
Tear after the other, I failed to finish crying….
Keeping this mask on is draining my last bit of sanity..
Why is it when your sad you are always alone? Why is it that only I find pleasure in being there among those  who pretend to care?
Where is everyone now, when I am the one in need?
Been strong for so long, but loneliness has taken its toll on me, I dared to seek care… I dared to ask for tenderness.. I dared to imagine being loved.. But time after time, the nightmare kicked me in the guts, with phantoms of beings which never gave any of such …
Until..
I met […]
I am not looking for help, for words of pity. Nor do I want to be lied about a diety that “loves me” and has a plan for me. I have a plan: end my life.
I have not found the right method and appropriate time to end my mysery. Reason? I am sick of getting rejected time after time after time. If someone was to observe my life from utside in a thumbnail, they would think my life is enviable. I get to travel around the world, have a decent salary, get to spoil myself doing whatever I want. Right.
I am 31 […]
Time after time.
We’ve fallen.
And nobody’s there to catch us.
So we fall some more.
Past a few weeks after crash with me and my Love. I divorced with him, he didn’t with me. Really insane situation. He still needs time and time after time making some short conversation, but as a real Black Scorpio i am living my life without him and not hoping anything.
Before this boyfriend i had a very very very very very big symphaty. He is so great: very funny, smart, working as a reanimatologist, so beautiful, but… usualy he’s just bastard – telling everything what he thinks and talking very dirty things. Last summer we’ve been dating, but he never kissed me as french or […]
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