today may 18 11:55 am and I’m in bed. I know I should be in school but I just had to think and I don’t have the strength to go and tell him my story. It’s just like a dream my dream came true. He asked me out and I said yes, but now I have to deal with telling him about my problems and that won’t be easy. I learn that he does it to, that he cuts himself as well as I do. And I told him that I cut and that he shouldnt cut. I made him promise me that he wouldn’t […]
Please don’t cry for me
For now I feel no pain
As I lie here and wait
For the service to begin
Please don’t shed a tear
For you never really did
I’m at peace now
You torment me no more
Don’t pretend to care
Now that I lie here dead
You didn’t when I was alive
I sure don’t need you now
For the first time in my life
The restful peace I find
No longer haunted by the dreams
Of dying every night
When I was still in Korea  for the exchange student program, that was the time that I was so down and determined to kill myself. However, I realized that i can’t die in a foreign country.  So I just let it pass and hoping that things will get better for myself and that I want to see my friends and family too when I get back. I actually sort of planned everything when I was still there; I’ll get a job or find something that won’t me make rely on anyone financially. I was really positive about this plan because I thought since I felt […]
Hi everyone. This is the first time I’m writing on here. I’m a 24 to man looking just for some chat and maybe some advise. Off the bat I would like it to be from someone older then myself cus with age comes wisdom. I lead a normal life. I’m in school to be a paramedic. I work a decent job and have a good home life. The only problem I’m having is my gf left me rescently. I know it shouldn’t bother me to this extreme. I’ve lost girls before, got upset and moved on. But for the first time in my life […]
I know what you’re thinking… “I’m going to tell this depressed person, either to contact professional medical help, call mom dad family or friend, just don’t do it because all life should be valued.”
Please don’t tell me this again. I’ve been to countless therapists over the course of my entire life so far. All I want is for someone to understand why I would want to kill myself, not just make me feel stupid for wanting to, or telling me that God has all the answers, or make me feel bad for being selfish that I want to kill myself. I just want someone to […]
a year ago from today i was actually immensely happy. work was going well for me, had a great girl in my life who i had the best bond in the world with.
months later, all of that would be gone. the girl still comes and goes but she’s made it clear she’s moved on and that i need to accept it or go away.
i just want to find somebody to bond with. just one and i promise to god i won’t ask for anything ever again. i always hear “things get better”.. ok when? i’m already in my mid 30s.. still waiting for […]
just to get it out here,hey,i’m ricardo and i’m 15 years old(i know it’s pretty young)
i have been diagnosed with major depression about a month ago..
i had been heartbroken about 7 times by now and for the first time in my life i have found a girl who actually likes me for who i am,
at home i’m getting bullied for my appearance,i have a rather emo look..and my brothers can’t seem to handle me like a nomal person,
anyways,when i’m at home i don’t feel all too great,i have cut myself several times which i am not proud of,
my best friend […]
I’m thinking of doing it tomorrow night. 1/21/12 is when I die. I wanted to do it on my birthday. That was three months ago. Should have then. Should’ve done it along time ago. I know some people work through worse pain then I have experienced. I feel hopeless. I used to feel sorry for myself. Realized that gets you nowhere. Thinking about just walking in front of a semi. If I jump just at the right moment I should die. I know that it’s selfish to do. Especially in that way. Can’t really find another way to do it. No car. Can’t find good […]
My feelings about suicide after a beloved family member took their own life in 2012.
Happier Times
December 16, 2008 – Tuesday […]
Ok, so I want to talk about the first (and only) suicide attempt I’ve ever made. It took place about a year ago. It was a pretty fucked up time in my life, as I’d just gotten my 2nd DUI and almost at the same time I was breaking up with my girlfriend. I was so in love with this girl I won’t even bother to elaborate on it, as it would probably make most people sick. That said, I was on my way to work one morning shortly after I’d gotten out of jail, and recieved a call from my ex. As we were […]
Well it’s been an interesting time in my life. I’ve spent almost 2 months of it in a mental hospital separated with a girlfriend of almost 3 years, mother of my third son who will be 2 tomorrow. Â Started a relationship with another woman who I have to say, I love dearly. Â I just don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I can’t bring myself to live a ‘normal’ life where I am a responsible adult and 9-5 and family one weekends. I left out in disability in December of last year about 3 months after FINALLY seeing a psychiatrist and being diagnosed with […]
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