Hi this is my first Post, am 37 married mother of 4 kids and I deeply depressed, for so long I can not remember when I wasn’t, situations in my life are some of the reasons which contribute to my feelings, I recently found out my husband of 13years was cheating on me and even when I confronted him he didn’t even apologize just gave me a cold shoulder worse of all he doesn’t take of us well and if you ask him to provide for the kids he always say he doesn’t have money so many a times am left to carry urge burden […]
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told
Ok – so
I started at a new therapist yesterday
She talked to me for an hour and a half. We literally scratched the surface – I told her when I started to feel anxiety in my life and told her a LITTLE about my 3 life destroying relationships
She says to me – “You have suffered a very high degree of trauma in your life”… ALREADY – she knows this from the tiny tip of the gigantic, ship fucking sinking iceberg that is my life… I haven’t even told her about all through school and the suicide attempt(S) and she says “I have August off”… […]
I’m empty, but deep down I feel a very distinct emotion of hate, and sorrow. My mind is very confusing, to say the least. There are trap doors that hide behind old memories collecting dust, and I don’t have a flash light to rummage through broken dreams without being cut. Too bad my scars are not able to completely fade away, I can not hide everything from everyone and I seem to do a shit job at it anyway. But what I find is that the people who notice are the people who really care. I mean, if you “care”, that’s fine, but don’t hang […]
This is my first post on this website. Today has been horrible all I could think today was suicide or run away somewhere. All I was thinking today was suicide mostly. Never thought of that. I’ve been depressed most my life and I haven’t really opened up to people or anyone I know in particular. Everyone knows me by the happy sunshine girl but no one knows who the real me is. Anyways going to back of what I was thinking about suicide and running away is because my mom told me that she shouldve had an abortion because she didn’t know she would hate […]
okay so I’m a 15 year old girl( I turn 16, in just over a week) and instead of being absolutely over whelmed with excitement for my birthday, which’ll be spent with friends and false happiness. But nonetheless right now all I’m filled with is a numbness and thoughts that are bad and time consuming.
Its not a new feeling to me considering I’ve been feeling suicidal since I was 10 ( which was the first time I tried to suffocate myself ), the feelings have never really abandoned me, and i always feel like I’m stuck with them. It didn’t help that earlier this year, […]
I think its time I plan my demise.
I have a lot of work ahead of me. I have told many people that I am in fact planning to apply to grad school but in actuality I can’t imagine living another year. I think I would like to take my life on the day I told people that I would be applying. It wouldn’t look like I was planning anything but a happy fruitful impossible life and helps me keep up the illusion that I am able to function on a day to day basis as a typical human.
Enough hoping for my demise to come to […]
I’ve never posted anything about my depression online for everyone to see. Hell, I’ve never even told anyone about it for fear they’ll look at me differently. Anyway, here goes. I’m eighteen years old and there’s not a day that goes by I don’t think of killing myself. The worst part is, there’s not just one reason or a specific traumatic event I can blame it on. Honestly, my issues don’t seem half as bad as the majority and I know I should be thankful and appreciative but I can’t. I’m just sad. All the fucking time. I used to think it was because my […]
I’m scared because the only thing that has kept me from going over the edge are my boys and it seems lately that isn’t enough. I know those feelings are selfish and they make me feel like a horrible person and mother. Which just pushes me further to edge. I’ve tried to talk to a friend and I just keep being told that I’m fine, maybe I’m PMSing. I can’t find anyone to talk to me seriously and I’m afraid that if I talk to a doctor they’ll take my kids away. I don’t want to die but I can’t live like this.
I have always told myself that contradictions can be a good thing and a bad thing all in itself. Good ones teach us how to make good choices in life but the bad ones show us how bad this can really be. But life gets really hard when you are a living, breathing, and bleeding contradiction.
I am a contradiction because I love the warm feeling that life can give me, but i want nothing more than to feel the cold grip of death on my shoulder. I am a contradiction because so many people have told me that I am a gift and bring […]
First time posting I’m really just looking for places I can get advice without being judged. Yes I am new so just bare with me as I try to explain my story.
It all all started when I was little, I was told I had really bad behaviour problems this was around the age of 5-12 years old. My parents have told me the only way they could make me behave was to slap me, or to punch me just any means they thought was appropriate, I had therapy when I was really young because I used to hit myself, I never mixed with other kids […]
Everyday I feel like killing myself a little more.
I keep my emotions bottled up now, biting my lip until I draw blood when I want to show emotion. It kills me inside to know that I’m getting closer to my death.
Honestly, the only reason I haven’t killed myself yet, is because of my friends on Quotev, music and because I would never leave my sister in all of this misery we go through.
I wish I had grown up differently, seen things differently, learned things differently. Though here I am.
If you think about it, it’s kind of funny. It’s funny how when we were little, we […]
I’ve always wanted to submerge myself into something that would help numb these feelings,
I’ve always wanted to experience that complete lostness you see in someone deep into their work,
I’ve always envied that.
I’ve tried to lose myself in alcohol,
but these feelings make is seem as if I’m drinking poison.
I’ve tried to lose myself in drugs,
but these feelings make the strongest “uppers” into downers.
I knew these weren’t positive things to lose myself in,
but I didn’t care,
I was so desperate.
I’ve always wanted to be a great writer,
I wanted to paint beautiful scenes with my words,
but creativity […]
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