I didn’t even care who would get to be the driver on our new car tonight. Of course I would’ve loved to drive, so – without thinking about it – I took the offer to gamble about it. *sarcasm on* Just by empirical observation of past gambles I should have known that against all odds I somehow manage to lose every single time. *sarcasm off* After my one sister won the first round to drive on the first way, my other sister and me should have gambled about the way back from the restaurant, but I refused. That wasn’t the best choice obviously, but in […]
Yeah… Tonight seems good.
I actually came on here tonight for the first time in a week or so to make a post about some stuff that’s happened lately in my life… and now my head is just too overwhelmed by the utterly repulsive tragedy that’s taken place today/tonight involving a really awesome person.
So instead of crapping on about my own troubles, I’m just gonna leave this post here so we can all maybe give a thought to that special person today/tonight, because this is their day now and they deserve to be remembered.
Rest easy.
But planning is far from actually having the balls to kick the chair.
Swallowed some Xanax, snorted some Clonex, but I’m still restrained to this life, stuck between the living and the dead. The clock strikes three and the sky never seemed darker. It’s time. I am becoming. My soul turn black, my eyes hurt and I’m raped all over. It starts with the stomach, then it goes to the throat and eventually squeezing my skull until my ears are bleeding and my eyeballs hanging outside their place.
It doesn’t matter where I am. As long as I am in my soul, like a body, I’m me, and I’ve […]
I want to die, and since I can’t go the seven pounds route and donate my organs in time, I guess dying is about all I can do. This video gave me an odd level of comfort I mean if he can do it why can’t I? I’m down to partial suspension hanging jumping off of a building or if I can get my car working in time an exit bag. I need my car to go get the supplies. I wish I had some painkillers to help numb the initial pain of the rope, all I have is alcohol. I’m not trying to get […]
Watching football this weekend and joking with SP posters about it was a nice distraction to the tormenting in my head. I still can’t think beyond Monday but I did take my meds tonight… I even contacted a few doctors. I don’t fucking know. I stop myself every time I think about the future. I don’t have the energy to fix my life after 3 years of hell… deferring grad school twice. There is no way my brain can recover in time to restart grad school in January.
Thanks guys… I didn’t feel so alone today.
In the past few months I slipped into a deeper than my usual constant state of depression and decided ‘that’s it, either I die or I stop living like this.’
I went to my doctor for sleeping problems and was prescribed Trazadone. It’s made me improve a noticeable amount, at least with sleep. I thought maybe I could get better, but what do I look up tonight? I want to kill myself. A third of my life’s been shadowed by depression and I’m tired. The second I got the prescription to the pharmacy I was looking up overdosing on it. Would I be easy, would […]
i truly think tonight is the night. the pain ends tonight.
I just registered here to have somewhere to share. Tonight was a close call. Extremely close. It made me realize I need help badly, but I have nowhere to turn but the internet, so here I am.
It all started a little over a year ago. My landlord handed me an eviction notice because I was 3 months behind on rent. Then he handed my wife a note telling her about how it was all my fault. We were already having marital problems, mostly because of the financial hardships we’d landed in, and that just made it worse.
We managed to find a crappy little trailer to […]
I wish I had the courage to do something like this. Maybe without the costumes. Just open my arms up and see who would take a free hug. What do you guys think about the video. Would you have still hugged him. I would have. Costume or not. This is my wish for all of you tonight. All of you who are hurting, lonely, sad, depressed, feeling suicidal. Hanging on by a very thin thread. Hugs from me to you. I hope and pray you’ll make it through the night. Don’t give up. Don’t give in. Good night SP. =)
One of my old mates that I have been fighting with came around to my house tonight and asked if I wanted to go hunting so I said yes and we went and killed some pigs and stuff with the dogs I had heaps of fun but my legs are sore because we have been running up hills all night it is 4:24am atm I’m so tired time for bed I think goodnight everybody.
In Australia hunting is a big thing and I have been brought up doing it my whole life so it’s kinda like my get away from sitting at home being sad 24-7
It’s 4.25am and I’ve just came home from an hour long walk, the truth is I was looking to commit suicide tonight and my chosen method was to jump off a high ledge and land in the sea, dying of either shock, head injuiry, drowning or hypothermia or a combination of them all. I live in a seaside town so I thought this would be a very easy thing to accomplish but the highest point in the town where it would be possible to die is fenced off with barb wire. I spent a while looking for a lot of other spots but no where […]
so update, i know its been a long time since my last one, but here it is :
my cuz kicked me out, after i told her that she is a **** faced lying *****, i went into a treatment facility twice in the span of three weeks, and lost my job because of it, along with a seperate issue, i am living with a friend now, but i cant find a job within walkin distance to help with the bills. and i relapsed tonight severly, i have been toying with the plan to drink a cup of lavender cleaner, i am deathly allergic to […]
I forgot to leave my email. (kursk6071@gmail). If anyone feels like chatting this evening I would very much appreciate it. Especially anyone with a past NDE that they could share. I am more than a bit scared about what’s going to happen tonight. The great mystery and all. I hope something wonderful is waiting for us, when we die but I suspect it’s going to just a jump into total absolute oblivion. Bible bangers please do not apply
Well, I just bought two 8.9 cu3 party time tanks, tubing and some old O2 lines. I intend to put it all together tonight and give it a try. I believe that I can make it work. I have no one to say good bye too. If anyone out there wouldn’t mind I sure would like to say goodbye to someone. God I am so depressed about this. Itht really is harder then you would think. Going that last bit seems much harder then I anticipated. I am going to do it though, even if I have to cry myself through it. Well, thanks for letting me wine a […]
It’s beautiful in such a twisted and haunting way, how there are so many people around the world right now; so many sad people… who are all thinking at the same time, and for their own reasons, “I want to die”. And they’re all so alone. And just a tiny handful of them, out of a sea of people, travel to this website. I wish I could hug one of you. That would be something really special.
I hope everyone makes it through tonight/today and smiles at least once.
Everyone was asleep last night, so they couldn’t hear me. Easier that way. I decided I was ready to kill myself, and began to strangle myself. I started to choke silently, and blacked out soon after. I thought I was dead! That I had done it! 30 minutes later, I woke. Probably going to do it tonight again.
You label me as high functioning. Apparently that is my anchor. The fact I can go to work and attend university. That I present a facade of normality that rivals that of any you have ever seen. I assume, in the way it is delivered, that it is meant to be a compliment. That it manifests in some super human strength to carry on living while I am already dead. The reality is much less glamorous. I spend my work days pretending to bother myself with their petty and inconsequential issues, generally a result of their own stupidity. Then I go to school, and expend […]
I’m probably going to kill myself tonight. I know I’ll be doing everyone I know a favor. Accutely I’m sure people will be sad and hurt but I’m certain over the long haul the world and everyone I’ve ever met will be better off without me.
Tonight I wait.
I don’t know what I’m waiting for really but there’s nothing else to do.
I know I am worthy. I know life has it’s spectacular moments, its rare gems, its perfections and its laughter.
Yet here I am, full of hopelessness. Crazy with shame. Riddled with feelings of inadequacy.
Tears are rolling as I write.
I am despondent.
My daughter sleeps so I am silent in my anguish. In fact anguish is a strong word, maybe too strong for this state.
I am almost indifferent. Definitely a bit pissed off.
Ive lost my spark. Not sure if it’s worth chasing… I want to..
But I’m afraid and oh so so sad.
I […]