I hate tonight. All i want to do is swallow all the pills. I’m upset and i feel so out of control when i’m upset. =(
Tag:
tonight
Around last year, 7th grade, I started feeling depressed for no reason. I was crying every day and getting suicidal thoughts. My mother got me tested and we found out I have depression. I have switched medicines I think 3 times now. Lately I have stopped taking my medicine and I have been feeling better, but tonight I fell asleep or something and woke up with my internet pulled up with “can I overdose on celexa” in the search bar. I started crying. I still haven’t stopped. I thought about it and I’m actually thinking about what it would be like if I did kill […]
Pushing 50 and have discovered (though known all along) that work is all I am. I had two real goals in life: have a job I would do for free and marry my best friend. I got the great job and then really set out in pursuit of that best friend. Along the way, not only did I fail at goal #2, but I found I simply lost interest in life, thus losing my love for my current (or any other) job.
Today, at work, it has really been brought home to me how badly I’ve fallen down on things at work. I’ve had the means […]
My boyfriend and I have been fighting a lot lately. It’s always my fault. I get mad at him for no reason. But it feels like a reason to me. I’ve been thinking about it lately. I don’t know how I feel about him anymore. We loved each other before. He still loves me. I haven’t been able to tell him whole heartedly that I love him in weeks. I told him tonight I don’t even think about hanging out with him anymore. I didn’t tell him I can’t imagine a future without him. I don’t know what to do. He asked me to marry […]
Hello…First and foremost, I sincerely apologise for having another post already. It is probably quite rude to post again so soon, but so far this isn’t a great night and I just need to talk to someone. Again, I apologise and realise that it is rather rude to post twice within one night.
So I got finished talking with Her, and she says that I should date my close friend mentioned in my other post from tonight. She says that my friend could give me the affection and attention I want, and she says she can’t provide either of those, even if she wanted to. I […]
So I reply on bully posts often because I hate hate hate bullies. I dealt with them growing up and thought that in the mature world of adults that we would have moved on from this, but now I have a new bully. I didn’t realize until tonight. The first time we met I really believed that she was a ***** having a bad day. Now after she has apparently lied on me twice to my manager (my manager caught that), I no that she’s just simply got a problem with me. Of course I couldn’t care less if she likes me. However, if she […]
I’ve been scared of adding more pain for so long. But I finally decided that I had to do something. So I tried cutting tonight. Â Omg! I’m not happy, but I’m so much better… I could control this pain. Â I can have something that I can control… I just idk…
My date is coming up. It’s in May. I haven’t really decided on a method yet but I know I don’t want anyone from my family to find me. I just know how the rest of my life plays out now and it doesn’t seem important to go through the day to day living. I’ll most likely die at work in my 50’s from a heart attack or stroke. My kids will be in college so my wife will have to struggle with the money because my life insurance is only good until I am 50. I figure if I eat a bullet now they […]
i feel like I’m walking into a sacred temple of sorts and I’m defiling the marble staircases just by stepping onto them. If I walk past the oak doors and into the cathedral, the stained glass windows will shatter and the pillars will crack and crumble at my undeserved and unwanted entry; i have no place here, I’m barely lost. I am a wandering destruction.
I wrote something a few days ago, and i’m sharing it here, now.
“To the Readers”
Slip.
You slip and nothing is as it should be; the world around you is but an endless dream, a mere coffee stain on your notebook […]
Well guys just an update , I failed my finals been crying , I put my all into and failed but my teacher saw my potential and giving me a make-up …….hopefully I pass the make up test ……I just totes sad tonight *sad face * and tomorrow is valentines day and I still can’t even see my boyfriend oh well , plus everyone in my class calls me a demon and it’s pissing me off been thinking abt mass murder but I know that wrong but just been keeping to myself a lot .
Love Allie
xoxoxo
You sent me a text tonight Telling me you were proud of me. I needed to see that more then you know. I needed to see something good to take away from the bad. You told me I was strong. But I’m not. I’m so severely depressed right now I literally can’t move. I need you to know how much I need you with me through this.
I deserve rest and peace. Please. why, I might do it tomorrow but tonight im to tired. Goodnight everyone. If I do it will be responsibly done quick and easy. Of couse I have Bi polar, of course I suffered childhood trauma, of course I attempted before, of course I cut, of course I have gambling and drinking problems. shit paranoia is the worst. I have paranoia disorder.
I came home to visit my girlfriend today and to get some business done. But now as the day is ending I’m feeling the stress and panic of everything is coming down on me. I’m so upset that I didn’t bring my razor blades I could’ve felt better tonight. I feel out of control without my blades with me I feel like my emotions can’t be managed without them. Ugh. I’m pulling my hair out I’m so damn anxious and on edge!
i am not okay. im ending my life tonight i hate everything. goodbye
I was better. I was great. I had friends, lots of them. I felt accepted, I was less anxious. My family was the same, but I can’t change that. I’m not really suicidal now, because I realize the importance of life after my sister suicide atempt. But now we fight, my whole family. They say I’m not socialible, that I’m egotistical, that I’m impossible. They tease and I’ve asked them to stop but they don’t. I’m annoying, I’m conceited and I’m awkward again. I can’t ask a question without scrutiny, and I’m fearful that I’ll disappoint them. But why tonight? Did it build up, their […]
what would it look like if I committed suicide tonight. I’m not even sure how I would do it. I don’t have a gun, which is the safe bet. That doesn’t leave a lot of choices – drugs, cutting, not sure what else. and to complicate matters, I have a dog. What would she think? What would she do? I’m not expected to be anywhere until about 9 AM on Tuesday (it’s 8:34 PM on Saturday night) so she would be alone for a long time. How long would it take for people to search for me? […]
I think I’m finally going to do it. Been depressed for too long. I’m 31 year old gorgeous woman with no kids but it doesn’t seem to matter. Every guy I date leaves me for some reason. The last guy I went out with left me because I’m a bartender for a living. Even though I make great money he doesn’t think I have a future. I’m sick of seeing all my friends getting engaged. I’m sick of everyone moving forward with their lives but me. I feel like a worthless loser who will be alone forever. I’m too depressed to try to change it. […]
a good song with amazing lyrics read these lyrics and see what you are feeling
by lissbabe
written by lissbabe
Every 14.2 minutes someone in the united states dies by suicide Nearly 1, 000, 000 people make a suicide attempt every year 90% of people who die by suicide had a treatable mental disorder when they died This is our message to give hope back To those who are lost in despair
Staring blank at the wall Never been so alone Why can’t they get me? Would they care if I was gone? Spinning around all alone In my head tonight Would it all be so easy? Would they ever miss me?
You can’t let them win I won’t let you give in,
You are […]
I’ve never really thought about typing this out, but after reading who knows how many of these post that have made me feel such I wide range of emotions, knowing how much they’ve helped me I figured maybe adding mine could help someone else out there.
Sorry for this part, I know it will be boring to read, I just want to get my whole story out there.
My name is A, I am sixteen years old. I have severe depression and anxiety and probably OCD. I’ve been bullied since 6th grade. I’ve been called just about every name in the book, but […]
At the moment that I am typing, I am quite drunk. Unlike all the times in the past, for the very first time, I am actually drunk for a good reason. I am not drunk because I am depressed. I am drunk because I am actually happy. I will be able to tell by tomorrow if I will be okay though.
I was making this IHOP shots (50% of Butterscotch Schnapps + 50% of Crown Royal Whiskey shot.. and then followed by orange juice) . It is actually quite tasty. After about 7 to 8 shots..you feel this feeling of FREEEEe……dom. Anyway, I am quite conscious […]