i was happy once, i know i was..just cuz i cant remember it doesnt mean it didnt happen. right? burn after burn nothing gets better, cut after cut. pill after pill. and im still the same.. nothing will change will it? i will never be good enough for my parents. i dont understand why i even care about their opinion. i hate them but since theyre my parents i have to love them… i wish my life was different.. i wish i was happy.. i wish i was dead.. and thats the truth.. life would be much better without me.. no one can deny it.. […]
Tag:
Truth
Just want to say to all who is in hard time at the moment, STAY STRONG, you were born to make a diference in this world.
You are just so much better than those people or things that upset you, who ignoring you, who or what makes you scared… There are people who love you and who DO care for you, they may be near, or you’ll meet them later in your life (you sure will), and they need you. Think about them. Do not be selfish. You are wonderful, beautiful and this world needs you!
Believe in yourself! I DO!
Read some books, look for answers, talk to somebody, look in to yourself, try […]
To whoever may concern,
Although I am young I already feel it is time to stop running well that is how I feel. I am running from my feelings, my emotions for the better good of others. I don’t want to ‘live’. I don’t need to ‘live’. I have read other story’s and they were the truth. I show no sympathy because I have spent so long hiding what feel that I no longer feel. I’m just empty. A ghost of what I should be. Today my ‘friend’ almost got hit by a car […]
Someone I’ve loved since the moment I’ve ever talked to them is slipping away. The sad part is I’m letting him. I can’t do anything about him not loving me anymore. I’ve fought for him for 9 months, if not more. I’m done. I can’t keep waiting on him to realize if I’m what he wants or not. I haven’t talked to him since Thursday. He says he cares and would do anything for me but I just don’t know anymore. I don’t know if it was love or lust. Maybe neither Maybe all of it was just a big joke, but I just can’t take it anymore. The […]
There’s this monster, who looks like us. walks like us. And speaks like us.
tho they’re only out there for one reason.
to break your heart.
That’s what we’re told anyways.
and well. i guess you could say I’ve seen this monster.
and yes, he broke my heart, though he did it without knowing he would.
See, he fell for me. and i fell for him. but that’s when the pain starts. its just so small you cant feel it.
He told me things, like how happy he’d be to grow old with me. Which made me fall for him even more.
But one day, his feelings […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Why do i always try to help other people? why? EVERY time i try to help someone go through a really difficult time.. all that i get is shit.. why do i bother? Why do i bother when i know that no matter what… whatever i do clearly isnt going to do anything or mean anything.. this happens all the time.. this isnt the first, or the 5th or the 12th.. and it sure as hell wont be the last.. why do i care so much? why do i have to love someone so much and put so much into them, just to get spit […]
I couldn’t do it. I got home from sneaking out, couldn’t get back in, had to call my parents then got yelled at. Heaps of guilt! YAY! They’re at wits end with me, said they wished I’d just get it over with. Well you know what? I wish that too. I don’t know why it hurts so goddamn much, and I have no reason for this pain. My life is perfect, and with these pills I can’t feel anything. I fucking hate it. I can’t cry, I’m empty, broken, alone within myself. I hate me, the girl who looks like an attention whore but only […]
Often times I wonder how I reached this point. This point of no return. Of an endless repitition of internal suffering. I can’t really think of an answer. Perhaps that means that I was just destined to be this way.
Many different people think the solution is simply, talking about your feelings or seeing a shrink or just looking at life at a different angle. But they’re all wrong. Because no matter what people say on the outside, you’ll always be that suicidal kid (no matter how old you are, actually) and despite all of the nice things they’ll say, no matter how much they tell you that they like you or that you […]
I have spent way too much time thinking about dying.
Truth is I have tried more than once to succeed at it.
I can see I am more successful at a lot of other things.
I spent a lot of time tonight reading the posts by the Guardian.
I used to be that way before I got lost in life trying to find Love.
I watched a film called Shaolin and in that time and tonight I see…
We can choose to leave this life but that choice only takes us on to
the next place where we once more face what we tried to evade.
Guardian is this the circle path…
may. thats when i die. thats it. it works out for everyone. i dont ruin my boyfriend’s birthday in december. i have my birthday in january. i go on vacation with my family in february so they dont waste the money they’ve spent on it. i dont ruin my best friend’s birthday in april. i see the 14th anniversary of columbine. i dont have to make my confirmation, which my family begs me to do even though i dont believe in it. my boyfriend and i will most likely break up by then. i dont finish this school year, and never move up to my […]
I’ve finally gotten what I wanted, be and my boyfriend together. But it’s different. We are WAY more distant. I can tell he’s not telling me everything. I know him better than I know myself. I know I’ve changed but am I THAT different?
When darkness fell
on this land
light was jailed
and laughter band
I try to stand
but find no ground
in anger I yell
but hear no sound
The earth does weep
and the sky does cry
in this land
where truth is lie
no way to end
what had begun
in the land
where life in done
here in this land
where shadows dwell
all hope has fled
since darkness fell
I’m two faced, one good one bad. I hate it. I was suicidal, a smoker and an alcoholic for some time. Im only 13. I was in a hospital a few weeks ago for suicidal thoughts & attempts. I still hate myself, but I realize that if I commit suicide, I won’t ever rest. There, I met amazing people with problems. They made me stop hating myself by a little, and spending time around them helped give me a new insight to life.
My mom & I have never been on good terms, & when we finally were, I thought that now i could kill myself […]
I used to be a very happy person. In fact, I was that loud and annoying kid who was always laughing and didn’t care what others thought. I do well in school; I dont really try very hard and I get all A’s. I have friends; they all think I’m the happiest guy alive. At school, I still act happy even now; I don’t want them to know. I have a girlfriend; a beautiful, sexy, funny, silly girlfriend, and I loved and still love her very very much. But on October 1st, 2011, she sent nudies to one of her guy friends. When I found […]
I know this is ridiculously long and most of you won’t care about what I have to say. That’s okay. I just needed to release some depression somewhere. I’ve been feeling worse and worse lately even though I know I’m trying to head in the right direction. I just needed to vent some frustration. I always say I’m doing this for me, changing for myself, but it still kills me when my family shows me how worthless I am… so here are my thoughts for the past week.
I’m amazed at how well I’ve become at wearing a mask. I’m able to conceal my emotions so […]
Who was I, before I entered this maze,
Is not something that I will remember.
As I entered the war-maze,
There was only the life-threatening
Closeness between the enemy and me.
Even this, I will not realize.
After getting out of the maze
Even if I earn my freedom,
The maze by itself, will not change. Unaltered.
To die or to kill,
To be killed, or to take someone’s life,
Even this will not be decided.
As a man wakes from his sleep,
And starts to walk, he can never
Again, see the world of […]
I’m bi sexual
I’m emo
I’m a cuter
I do drugs
I’m atheist
I’m OCD
I’m bi polar
I’m a lover
I’m broken
I’m suicidal
I’m victim
I’m more things than you can probably count. I know there are others who probably have it worse than me, but I feel like this is never ending, that this world only exists to destroy me. I wake up every morning and think “why am I still here?”.  It’s a good question to be honest. I have no purpose. I’m not important. My friends tell me if I died they would care….a lot of people have told me that before…..and look where they’re at…..gone. It would be so much easier just to end it all […]
The love of my life lives in Kansas….I live in North Carolina. We have been off and on for almost a year now. We got back together about 2 months ago then he broke up with me. I fell back into cutting and pills. He swore he didn’t like anyone else, it was just the distance. He asked out my best friend 2 days after he told me that. I want to fucking hate him so much….but I can’t. He doesn’t know I know. I promised him I wouldn’t cut or get high…..yet my arm is filled with new scars and my pill bottles are […]