Tag:

Uncertainty

by dividebyzero 4/19/2016

written by dividebyzero

Uncertainty is probably the thing I hate most about life. Or maybe it’s feelings. If I had no feelings, or if I could regulate them like a normal person, uncertainty wouldn’t bother me. I often beat myself up or behave self-destructively because even though it makes me feel miserable, I’m in control of that misery. Which often seems infinitely preferable to taking a risk and making myself vulnerable to acute uncontrollable emotional pain.

I have to make a big decision by tomorrow about my next job. A lot of people would probably want to be in my situation, but I can’t stop dwelling on the downside […]

4/19/2016 1 comment

Uncertainty

by J Doe 4/15/2016

written by J Doe

Hello. I’m very uncertain about a lot of things. I’m not even really sure that I’m suicidal. I think about killing myself all the time and I even daydream about how I would do it. But if I was really suicidal, wouldn’t I have already done it by now? Literally I could just go into the kitchen while everyone’s asleep, get a knife, cut my throat, and lie down on the bed. But every time I’m at my lowest and feel the urge to do it, I just can’t bring myself to do it. I guess I’m too afraid. I imagine I’m put in situations […]

4/15/2016 6 comments

Shivery

by Rotted_Flesh 6/22/2015

written by Rotted_Flesh

It’s cold and lonely out there… I wish I was as warm as one of the beautifully blended paintings I’m gazing at right now, maybe one day. These blankets and pillows trying to replicate the warmth of another human’s flesh is pathetic. I’m pathetic. All I want is to be embraced with fervor, where are you? Uncertainty is so horrid, I hate it. I hope to death that these four walls around me don’t become my prison. I want to astral project myself into another dimension, please just take me away from here.

-Immurement

6/22/2015 1 comment

Wouldn’t it be a shame?

by permanent slumber 4/17/2015

written by permanent slumber

wouldnt it be a shame if I were to stop my asthma medication?

Wouldnt it be a shame to just stop all medication and let things take their course?

But then there’s the constant argument… Would it be suicide because I know what will happen? Or will it be merely an intentional accident because I don’t know when it’s going to happen?

I guess it’s the uncertainty in that argument that’s the only thing holding me back.

4/17/2015 1 comment

Bus Stop

by DeathFinalFrontier 4/21/2014

written by DeathFinalFrontier

I sat down on the bench and looked up at the sky.

A cloud moved in front of the sun to provide some shade and cool an otherwise warm day. A couple birds passed overhead, and a light breeze ruffled the leaves of the nearby trees.

I was waiting for the bus to arrive. I had picked this bus route specifically. It promised to arrive at the destination quickly, although it might be a bit of an uncomfortable trip. I did my research thoroughly, and this was the best route I could find. I had been planning this trip for years, perhaps a few too many. The […]

4/21/2014 9 comments

Uncertainty?

by ConfuZed 8/4/2013

written by ConfuZed

I visited SP last year but was afraid because I wasn’t sure if I was heading towards the right direction. I was really confused and unsure of my life. But a lot has happened in 12 months and I feel like I can relate to the other people on this site. I don’t want to end my life but fix it and make it better.

8/4/2013 2 comments

Letting Go is an Act of Bravery

by Nachtigall 6/17/2013

written by Nachtigall

A lot of people say that Suicide is cowardly. I disagree. The one thing that is a constant source of apprehension and fear in humanity, is death. No one knows what happens when you die. Is there an after life? A heaven or a hell? Are we reborn? Or do we simply disappear?

Many of us are preoccupied with our own death and the preparations there of. We write Wills years in advance, we buy life insurance, we go to church and pray in hopes that through redemption we will obtain a better place in the afterlife that may or may not exist. We as […]

6/17/2013 11 comments

What’s left

by owl 6/5/2013

written by owl

What’s left when everything’s over? When you know the answers, when you understand?

When you are over the world, past the reality, into the truth… what’s over?

Why live, why die, when there are no more stages in this game?

Do you know that feel, when you already finished your exam, and everybody around you is still looking for the answers? The emptiness, the satisfaction, the uncertainty…

That feeling is the only thing left.

6/5/2013 0 comment

i doubt it……

by randomguy95 5/8/2013

written by randomguy95

wow, two post in one day, guess I got alot to say hunh? people say the teen years are the best years of your life. But to me there full of confusion, having to deal with people who look down on you, rejection, social exclusion, and uncertainty. idk, maybe that’s just me. Anybody, teen or adult, where/are your teen years the best out of your life?

5/8/2013 2 comments

Does Councelling even work?

by greygirl 2/4/2013

written by greygirl

Hi,

I’ve always known this was the next step. Since I started thinking about it though I’ve been scared. It’s been 7 years since I first thought about talking to someone, but I figured there were more cons than pros with it. I decided not to risk it because I didn’t really know what it was going to be like. My mother would get overly involved and I don’t even want her to be tipped off that I’m going in the first place. I also don’t want to get there and be a crying wreck. I just don’t know what to expect and it makes me […]

2/4/2013 6 comments

Emotional Experience

by orangish 11/26/2012

written by orangish

I’m trying to adopt a state of mind that centers around human experience; something realistic, rather than negative or positive. Something beyond that simplistic dichotomy. Emotions exist; sadness is no less real than happiness; happiness is no less real than sadness. Pain is no less real than pleasure, and vice versa, and what one might want to describe as “bad,” is not necessarily so. It simply is.

Maybe I should convert to Buddhism.

Anyone know any good monastic sects in the midwest United States?

That’s a joke, by the way. I dislike organized religion. I don’t enjoy having to accept uncertainty, but I dislike blind certainty just as […]

11/26/2012 10 comments

Time is ticking.

by jjgirl13 10/25/2012

written by jjgirl13

Does anyone else feel pathetic posting here? I do, every time I do.

Well, I’m past due. Way past my date of expiry. I have it set up that if I don’t reply to a text by the end of the day, the cops are going to come busting through my door. And the cops have done that already twice this year, it’d be too embarrassing if I were alive to greet them. Last time they came by, I had three of them stomping around in my room, snooping, while I stared at the traces of vomit that had dried up on the hardwood floor, hoping […]

10/25/2012 8 comments

Long time coming..

by Empty_Soul 9/24/2012

written by Empty_Soul

It’s been quite a long time since I’ve been on here,

Life still continues to pass me by. I met a girl who I have been involved with for around 9 months now.
I have learnt a lot about her.. Heck I even love her. I didn’t think I would meet anyone again at least not after the relationship I was in prior..
She’s changed from the girl I originally met back in December. She isn’t the girl I fell in love with..
She dismisses my feelings like they are just disposable. She’s sent my heart into a deep abyss, of darkness, anger and hate.
I have so much uncertainty […]

9/24/2012 2 comments

Those Negative Experiences

by SomeMalaise 7/4/2012

written by SomeMalaise

They say you are shaped by the bad experiences. That what does not kill you makes you stronger. That all good things come to those who wait. Don’t wait for good things to come you must fight to get what you want. Travel the path less trodden. There is a fork in the road. A narrow path, and a wide winding path. Choose the most exciting.

I have heard so many contridictating sayings in my life that it can make one explode with uncertainty. But that’s where my experiences come in.

I’ve trodden forward before. I’ve survived bullying, teasing, physical abuse from peers. Verbal abuse from my […]

7/4/2012 6 comments

an end to the mundane

by skrl 6/7/2012

written by skrl

I finally made an account. I’ve spent all afternoon reading and I identify entirely with feeling like I’m in a slump. The worst part as I see it is the apathy. The complete loss of excitement for all the little things that used to make me smile and worse yet, the utter lack of care for whomever’s emotions will be affected by my last action on this earth.

I’m 21, completely hopeless, and scared for what lies ahead. I don’t want to disappoint my wife of four months, but with all the fighting I think she’d be better off. I seldom socialize anymore, I dropped […]

6/7/2012 2 comments

Fear

by gorette66 2/13/2012

written by gorette66

Five months later and I’m back at square one.

Jump or don’t jump?

I fear making mistakes.

I fear disappointing my mother.

I fear life beyond campus.

I fear not being able to repay student loans.

I fear the inevitable graduation.

I fear making choices.

People keep telling me that life is precious. Life is what you make it. But what good is life if you don’t know what to make of it?

They call me selfish. Suicide is selfish. You have no right to end your life.

Hypocrites.

I’m sick of the uncertainty. I’m sick of the fear. Why should I live for others? It’s pointless; they all die in the end. So no matter […]

2/13/2012 7 comments

Nothing outweighs all the negative..

by sarahkkendall 1/29/2012

written by sarahkkendall

As the title says nothing beats everything I am dealing with now.Â My babies are all split up and their hearts are shattered.Â In turn their pain rings so loudly to me.Â I had to rock my crying 6 year old little girl to sleep in a hotel room before I took her back to her father.Â I am disabled and incapable of providing a stable home for my children.Â I am going to an online university and I find it mundane and pointless.Â Feeling guilty is something that runs rampant in my heart and the feeling of complete inadequacy fills me to the brim […]

1/29/2012 1 comment