I’m sixteen, afraid of death but overcome by thoughts, people, judgement. I used to be mad all the time but now? Sad, depressed, not a full day I can say I’m proud of myself, that I’m accepted and that’s fine, I don’t need highschool opinions/rumours. I don’t want to die but I don’t want all this stress, of the future, of the past, of people. Forgive me for boring you.
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I used to know who I was. I was the person that my parents wanted me to be, and I was happy to be that person. But now, I’m not sure who I am or what I’m going to do. I’m lost in life and I don’t want to find my way again, because I am afraid of what will happen if I do. I feel as if I am lost, and just drifting through life. But I don’t know what else there is to it, because this is all that I remember. Cutting is the one thing that I have control over, to just […]
just die. please. end this. there’s a train coming right towards me and i don’t even move. what’s wrong with me?! have i no shame? have i no honor? have i no GOD? indeed, i’m a disgrace to my family of achievers. yes, i’m a man who wastes his days away playing swtor and masturbates everyday. i want to change. but i can’t. but i wanted to. i think i don’t want to. every time i look at the mirror, all i see is the embodiment of failure.
i know my girlfriend is sick of me being negative. why shouldn’t she? there are millions of positive, […]
I used to care about things like success, and school, and grades… but now it’s like none of that matters anymore. I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t care what happens to me anymore. I;m not sure what to do anymore. I’m just drifting around now, with no purpose. Pain is the only thing I can control now. That’s better than nothing.
I’m so tired of being a fuck up. I’ve almost grown used to the depression now. She doesn’t like me because I’m depressed, and you know what? That makes me even sadder. Why do I even care? She loves someone else, I am simply a burden to her. But I keep talking to her. What’s wrong with me?
There’s a story of a little girl. She was kind and beautiful. And, happy. At least, she used to be. That was until middle school got to her. I remember the way her eyes lit up every single day. I remember how she spoke. Just one smile brightened everyone’s morning. She was fun. She was adventurous. She was confident.
There’s a story of a little girl. Who went home from school excited for tomorrow. She always did her homework the first chance she got. She was […]
what i just found out.. last night that ..
well like almost a month ago i got rapped.. by my used to be step dad. and then my neightbor was talking to my mom about it last night .
that he could have killed me..
if he didnt want anyone to find out about it.. it breaks my heart. for my mo to live in so much pain alone.. she still cant handle me getting rapped and then if he killed me ?.. my mom will be just left here alone. with no one helping her and her having nothing to do any more. my […]
What is your definition of social introvert and socially awkward?
Have looked up on this but would appreciate individual inputs.
I try to conceal my misanthropy by claiming to be an introvert. Presumably that is less off-putting to others and makes myself feel better. But after a handful of backpacking travels and interacting with people from and in other countries, I have come to conclude that the human heart STINKS just the same no matter where you’re from. What color or gender.
I used to think it is because I live in a third world country (save for the capital city), surrounded by low intellectual and […]
I can be used as a bad example
I honestly feel like giving up, I dont know what to do with my life anymore. Yes I know I’m 12 years old I should just be happy. I’ve been suffering depression since I was 9. I started self harming when I was nine. It started of really small. It soon got worse and worse. Scars cover my body. Â I cant go a day without thinking of suicide. I’m bullied everyday my parents currently split up my 3 baby sister died. I’m cyberbullied, I used to be abused. I soon learnt to keep to myself I told ONE person about my past abuse everyone soon […]
Any depressed girls here in the city who want to just talk? Â Im not trying to hook up but I have unsuccessfully on dating sites. Â Just being honest. Â Ive attempted suicide several times. Â I even shot up motor oil once. Â My latest plan is to…. Â well I dont want to give it away. Â Everything thinG I do turns to shit. Â Btw …. guys… Â quit hitting on me. Â (Males) Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â […]
I used to like waking up in the morning. But now I can’t stand it. I stay up late unable to sleep. I don’t want to wake up every morning. I want to sleep forever.
Ever since I was nine years old, I remember always thinking that my father was going to leave me. He always used to tell me that he was going to send me to live with my grandmother just to make me upset. He used to leave me alone in public, in the metro, in the mall, on the street.
My mother did that too. She used to leave me alone in the house for hours at a time when I was three. My neighbors had to call social services, and I was almost taken away. Sometimes I wish I was.
My father still does this to me, […]
I miss how I used to be.
I never really liked myself before, but at least I was happy. At least I didn’t feel empty inside. At least I felt like somebody important. I enjoyed hanging out with my friends and family. I even enjoyed having time to myself. I actually cared about how I spent my time. I didn’t dread every second of every day. I actually wanted to inspire and impress people with what I achieved in my life.
But now I just want to do nothing. I could careless about about anything.
I just want to give up….
I just wish my life would end. No […]
In december of 2012 i tried to overdose myself. it obviously didn’t work because I’m typing this now. I’ve had some really serious problems with my mom but i mean most teenage girls do too… we haven’t fought in so long, but now here it is happening again the same way it used too, and here i am again just feeling more and more alone. I guess this is me just reaching out for help before i get completely hopeless. comment if you would like too.
“emotional abuse is when someone does something to hurt you, and when you express your feelings, that you’re upset, the turn it around to be something you did to hurt them and they force you to apologize for it, and your feelings, like always, are rendered invalid and silenced, forever damaging the ability to trust others with your feelings because they are always used against you.”
-as said on Tumblr
I’m not asking as a way to judge you, Â I completely understand wanting to cope with depression. But why cutting specifically? I’ve used several methods myself; Hallucinogenics, Drugs, Alcohol, things like that.
I’m asking because I’ve tried doing it and I just don’t feel the pleasure, and I’ve attempted suicide several times, so I know a thing or two about “hurting myself”. So why do you guys like it?
Last year I was hospitalized (self-admitted) because of severe suicidal ideation. Â I spent a week in an emergency mental health ward and then was released and stayed in a recovery facility.
I’ve been to therapy and still see my therapist. Â I have a psychiatrist and still take my Wellbutrin. Â I’ve had ups and downs, but since I was discharged I haven’t had any more suicidal thoughts…until now.
I’ve worked at CBT, I journal regularly, I don’t isolate, I have a support system. Â My wife is wonderful, and we have a strong relationship. Â I’m close to my two college age daughters. Â I remember how much pain I caused […]
I know it is selfish for me to be jealous of my family and friends that are dating their boyfriends or girlfriends. I just can’t help it. Ever since I fell for you and you decided to rip my heart out I just can’t stand seeing others happy. I mean sure I am really happy for them because I care about them, but I just don’t understand why I’m not happy like them. They have everything going for them and a man or lady on there side. Oh man, how I wish to kiss a boy. I haven’t in so long. I just want to […]
As a cchild, I used to dream of my future. I used to think all of these great things would happen, and that if I tried hard enough, I could be someone. Someone who was one who could make a difference. Not only that, but someone who would be great. Do something amazing, I guess.
But I believe those were dreams, and nothing but.
When I was about 5 or 6, I wanted to be a famous musician. I loved (and still do love) music back then. I wanted to just play piano or sing, get paid for it, and live that glamorous lifestyle. People […]