I came home from a 12 hour shift at work, and saw this old picture in my phone. We seemed so happy at the time, and all I can think about is how much we were in love, but now as the tears stre down my face, all I can think about is the pain. When I’m alone, I can’t help but have dark thoughts of ending it all because I couldn’t imagine my life without you. You were the one that made life worth living. I know that people say that I’ll get over it, but right now the only thing I’m trying […]
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used
I had a surprising bout of anger, nearing a temper-tantrum, this morning. And what was it over? My missing hairbrush. Yeah thats low.
Its about the only thing I keep in the bathroom, it even has my name sharpied on it. I know it was there yesterday,when I didnt need it, but it isnt there today when needed it.
Thats my life. Things are there when I don’t need them & gone when they’re needed. Mostly that’s because other people use my stuff, even though it has my name written all over it, & they dont care & they dont replace. Its not like I can replace […]
Ahem. *clears throat* Awkward. TnT Fuck. Anxiety. Let’s see. Lost 3 friends to suicide. 1 had recently attempted. Idk. I used to have a whole group of friends. Depression came by for a visit. Boom. Became distant and just closed myself up from everyone. Avoiding people all day at school unless I’m stuck with a partner. Realized no one gives a shit about me disappearing. Yep. *becomes air* Probably going to fail school because I’m skipping classes to avoid having anxiety attacks even though I still have them. Holy horseshit I’m probably sounding like some little shit right now. *face palms* How did I even […]
Cost–benefit analysis (CBA) is a systematic approach to estimating the strengths and weaknesses of alternatives that satisfy transactions, activities or functional requirements for a business. It is a technique that is used to determine options that provide the best approach for the adoption and practice in terms of benefits in labour, time and cost savings etc. The CBA is also defined as a systematic process for calculating and comparing benefits and costs of a project, decision or government policy (hereafter, “project”).
Broadly, CBA has two purposes:
To determine if it is a sound investment/decision (justification/feasibility),
To provide a basis for comparing projects. It involves comparing […]
Sew this up with threads of reason and regret
So I will not forget. I will not forget
How this felt one year six months ago
I know I cannot forget. I cannot forget
I’m falling into memories of you and things we used to do
Follow me there
A beautiful somewhere
A place that I can share with you
I can tell that you don’t know me anymore
It’s easy to forget, sometimes we just forget
And being on this road is anything but sure
Maybe we’ll forget, I hope we don’t forget
I’m falling into memories of you and things we used to do
Follow me […]
I found a supplier online who claims to sell ********. I emailed them saying I would like to order 1x 100mg of a ******** Solution for $450 (the price that they have mentioned). They requested that I transfer the money via Money Gram. I’ve never heard of Money Gram before let alone used it so I asked if I could pay via PayPal. They replied that PayPal have froze their account because they don’t support voluntary euthanasia. I did some research and there is no consumer protection for Money Gram as there is with PayPal. Do you think that I am being scammed? Or is […]
Way back when, when I was young, people used to read. Not forum posts, not news headlines. This thing called books. Maybe some can remember them.
Now I had a pretty shitty childhood. But I loved reading. I read all kinds. It opens the mind, it creates ideas. It makes shitty reality go away for a while so you have time to recover.
It just seems to me that so many young people these days suffer from depression and suicidal thoughts. It is a result of modern society. I just wonder if a bit of old-fashioned reading won’t make things more manageable.
I think that all humans are essentially ‘evil’, and by that, I mean selfish, among other commonly presumed negative things. Generally, I also believe that people are submissive and ignorant. I don’t think I’m really that different, but I’m aware of my own shortcomings. Why keep living when humans don’t care for one another, and when love is just a temporary high? I know my purpose in life is to work for people and receive happiness from making money, and live a life that I had no choice to experience, nor can I live a life I want, for I want nothing. I don’t even […]
You texted me first today. You initiated the conversation. You apologised to me. Honestly speaking I have no idea what you’re apologising for. And I don’t know how I should reply your text. I guess I’m too used to not talking to you.
I did not intend to create this post but because of the interest my last post made I decided to add this one.
Many have asked not only here but during the many hospital admissions that I have had to read my living will. Being on the “Inside” of healthcare I have seen the many loopholes that both family and physicians have used to get around a persons living will and provide treatments that the patient NEVER wanted.
The two biggest examples that I know of are as follows:
1. Excluding “Treatable/Reversible” conditions. Let’s say that a persons living will states no to mechanical […]
As the title says, I have set the date. I am so very very tired.
I have moved with my friend & her kids into her boyfriend’s house & its not a picnic. I basically live in the garage since its a 3 bed house & her 2 kids have finally got their own room.
I keep saying ‘it’s a roof over my head’ & ‘I could be on the street’. But I think I might prefer anywhere else but here.
He wakes up at 5am to go to work, so everyone is awake, including me who gets woken by the garage door. Mind you, I have a […]
Well, wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t at the end of my figurative rope. What do you do, if life just ain’t… fun… anymore? Nobody gives a damn about you. You got nobody to vent to, to talk to… Except the anonymity of the internet… Sure, your sick dad, wife, and kids all DEPEND on you… But they take you for granted day after day. And your elderly dad, you realize, never did jack shit for you… You were an inconvenience to him and your mother…an accident, she gladly told you her whole life. He never took time off from work for you, yet now […]
I’ve tried cutting burning head banging hair pulling bitting I even used to to try to stop breathing when I was younger , but this has got to be the most fulfillingly agonizing thing I’ve done to myself and I want to continue to do it. You guys should try it, I heard I can even get ulcers in my stomach lol.
im really unsure on what to say anymore. its not like i can go on facebook and talk about what i really want to talk about without alarming the people im close to. i used to be okay. i used to have the ability to turn the pain off at the snap of a finger. now its gone. the switch has been flipped and im unable to turn it off. all i can think about is death and ending the pain. why havent i done it already? i have nothing left to look forward to. the love of my life decided to move across the […]
Why do people always tell you to just be happy? My ex always used to tell me that if I act happy I’ll eventually be happy.
Thats such bullshit though. I hate it. If you go through your whole life just faking a smile, how are people supposed to know the real you? Oh right, no one really cares about the real you. Do you believe that there are genuinely people out there that not only just accept your flaws but actually love them?
I used to have suicidal thoughts as a younger teen. My mother had a rough childhood in China and would accidentally try to force me into her ideal life. But my mom also would call me a lazy ***** or fat pig (i used to be quite the chubster). I just want to say that it would have been helpful to know someone loved me out there. I felt deprived of the affection i deserved. I understand if you don’t give a bit but i just want all of you to know I LOVE YOU more then you could ever imagine. All of you no […]
Sometimes I wonder, do I really love you?
Or am I just too used to spending time with you? Or that I’m just attracted to that charisma in you?
I don’t know. Everywhere I go, I try to avoid you, but yet, I still want to see you, even if it means catching only a glimpse of you.
I know you’ll still be there for me. But I don’t know if I’ll be there for you.
But I still miss ya.
In my recent story I told people that I was used, but in reality I was using them to feel pleasure, but when it came to having feelings for them, they turned me down. Karma does come around quick. I’ve been out of college for almost 8 months. I didn’t get a job after for what I majored on, instead I worked seasonal at Target. I’ve met cool people. After those 90 days passed, I feel like there’s no point to live. I feel all alone. People don’t bother texting, and if they do is because a guy is horny and wants to have sex. […]
Hello, I goggled I want to cut myself tonight to try and stop myself from slicing up my thigh. My boyfriends laying in the bed next to me while I’m crying my eyes out asking “what can I do”, nothing and then I tried to talk to him an he said you always get like this last night I cried after I had sex with him but I say this with all my heart someone that has never known depression will never know, he doesn’t know. My mother died of cancer when I was nine my father remarried a women a year later with 3 […]
I’ve became so attach to online dating. I’ve met so many guys who I thought could be the perfect guy. The first guy I met was cool and fun to talk to. He’s name is Jon. We talked on the phone for almost a month. When we decided to hang out, he suggested to go to a hotel. So I agreed. I have a great night, but after few weeks passed by, I heard nothing from him. I send him a text saying all these things that I lost him as a friend. Few months later I met a guy on COD: Ghost. He live […]