Initially this post was going to be (and still may be) similar to a lot of posts where i complain about how undesirable i feel to women. The impetice for that feeling was a commercial for a movie called How to be single. I get it “everybody sleeps around”. Well pop culture and the 6 to 9 corporations that own you. FUCK OFFF!!!! Im a super depressed introvert who hates social networking and doesn’t look like brad pitt. Furthermore the few times in my life where i did luck into a “hook up” left me feeling empty. It isnt for me. But it is a […]
(Assignment from one of my classes. I had five minutes to write this so it’s not my best)
I’ll never write about your
fastened locket, feather locks
hair up high and floral tops
silky skin and warm embrace
your voice your laugh your fucking face
your hands and how they’d fit with mine
your telling tales and wasted time
the tethered rope, your naked neck
I said I’d never write,
and yet-
When i was a freshman, so 14, i tried to commit suicide for the first time. I can’t really explain why. It’s two years later and it still feels like it was all a dream. Sometimes it hits me all at once. Out of nowhere.. like around Christmas, i went and saw my youngest sisters choir concert. I was watching, listening. My dad on one side, my brother on the other. And it hit me.. all at once. Without warning.. as those things tend to do. I looked up at the stage, seeing her sing. My throat got that horrible dry feeling and suddenly the […]
It’s 4.15 am. Had horrible nightmares and awake since then. It’s been hours and it’s been years. I can’t sleep properly.
I won’t say all 365 days are like this. I guess, I have okayiesh days also, I won’t say good or wonderful because 2015 was the wrost year of my life.
I was a failure in 2015 at many tasks, two of them were, giving lot of happiness to my soul mate and ending this miseryful life. But I guess these two tasks can’t be completed at once. I failed lots of times at killing myself. In 2015 I was too close to finish the task […]
Eyes that one could get lost in for hours, they bring warmth to any that look in them, regardless of the glasses she wears. The hazel color comforts you as you drink in her beauty, letting you be somebody that you thought was long gone. Her long, dark hair is manipulated so that it doesn’t interrupt the vision before us, but it is beautiful in its own right. Long and dark, it cascades down her back and moves gracefully with each slight movement of her body. She is tall, which one grows to appreciate, for it gives the eye more to drink in. The eye […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I’m writing this and it’s early as fuck.
I can’t sleep. I just made a grilled cheese too an it was great. Early in the morning is when my thoughts are crazy.
I was thinking about how I feel like the day I die my soul will finally find peace . It will be a relief . I’ll finally get to rest. I wish the day could come sooner.
I was also thinking about a afterlife . I wouldn’t say that I believe in God , but I believe in something . I hope there is something after this world . Maybe this life is hell? There has […]
This is my absolute favorite singer. Every time i hear his voice i want to dance. I can really feel his music. He has a great story too. He was depressed and started with nothing. He recorded his album in his bedroom and got somewhere. I think we can all get somewhere too. The video is kind of weird. God, i would do anything to meet this man.
If I could, I’d fasten my arms around your waist,
And sigh my sorrows into the nape of your neck
Until my sadness becomes a part of your skin.
And if I could,
I’d scream, breathe, whisper your name,
Until my voice becomes a part of who you are.
If I could,
I’d hold your hand until you don’t feel right
Unless my fingers are occupying the spaces between yours.
If I could,
I’d make a home out of your sheets
Until your mattress holds my shape, and you can’t expel me from its folds.
Don’t forget me.
It’s a beautiful December day, nearly two and a half years since you left me. And here I am, missing you again. I wonder what we might be doing this day, if you were still here. Maybe we would be in the driveway, or at the shop doing a charity job. Or maybe we would be inside, tangled up on the couch watching an old western. Or maybe we would be sitting at the kitchen table having a beer while you picked your guitar. I miss your music so much! I still think of you all the time […]
Hard day yesterday. Cried a lot. I usually hold it in for a month or two and then it all comes bursting out. It sucks but I always feel much better the next day. I was listening to JJ Grey and Mofro’s song Sun is Shining Down and it triggered me. I’m not religious at all. I think it is the powerful emotion in his voice.
i just want to scream as the loudest voice i can .
i want to get it all out and i cant i want to scream it out for gods sake
I have been depressed for a long time and still never believed I was lonely, I have family and family etc.
Just this week it all came clear to me. Nobody understands me, nobody know who I really am, they don’t care about anything I like or are interested in, so I have nobody close to talk to.
Now it only feels like I have no friends, and my family are another world away from me. I don’t talk to them, and I have nothing to say to them, if I started talking about a passion or something I’m interested in, they would be hearing my voice, […]
It’s been months since I’ve had a truly good day, lots of okay days, thanks to my wife, but no days where I don’t think “You should end it. Today.”
Somewhere along the way, I picked up a coping method to keep myself alive: My “72 Hour” Rule. You’re going to kill yourself? Fine, but there’s a 72 hour waiting period. Do whatever. Plan it, buy supplies, make sure your affairs are in order, but you can’t kill yourself for 3 days. You’ve lived this long, what’s 3 more days? I’m not even saying you have to get out of bed – Just don’t die, that’s […]
My husband of four year hates me..
He has lost all of his patient.. He’s very short and snappy with his words..
Little things about me that used to not bother him make him go off
We can never have non-casual conversations anymore..
He raises his voice more often than ever..
His kiss on a cheek or him saying love you is just a daily routine but not out of his heart..
Now he only cuddles, hugs, puts his arm around me, kisses, or is sweet when he wants sex…
I feel like being stuck at a bottom of a pool but don’t know how to swim…
I know our marriage is ending, […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Please, somebody that’s more logical than me, somebody that can help. Tell me not to, tell me not to beg my cousin to give me her number so I can text her. It wouldn’t even be that long of a text, and I wouldn’t send more than one. Please, tell me not to. I want her to be happy, I can’t let me ruin that for her. I’m better than that.
God, she’s so beautiful though. She’s absolutely intoxicating. When I look at her, I find it damn near impossible to imagine I’ve kissed those lips. The one thing I can be sure of though is […]
I have absolutely no creativity anymore. I used to.
I find it difficult to express myself. When I try to focus on finding a good way, everything leaves me. Anything I have to say is just a basic, simple rambling of words.
I know you can’t force creativity, but I have no muse or motivation. It’s just me wanting to express myself effectively and I’m so terrible at doing things for myself, as I find myself unimportant.
It’s like there’s two sides in my head constantly fighting. One side is begging to speak and to be heard and the other side is saying whatever it has to say […]
I wrote this in high school, for an English class. Hopefully it gets some laughs out of you guys.
A long, long time ago in a galaxy far away, 1998 in Oskaloosa, Kansas, there lived a young Twinkie named Pedro. Pedro was a good Twinkie, he had a golden glow to his exterior and a white, creamy center. He spent most of his days watching the other Twinkie soldiers march into battle to defeat their arch nemesis, the evil Hoho horde. One day, everything changed, his father was killed by the Hoho horde, when his body was returned, his creamy center had been sucked dry. Pedro’s […]
Didn’t you see the tears
As they roled down my cheeks?
Didn’t you see the fear
It’s been in my eyes for weeks…
Didn’t you hear me call
Your name a thousand times?
Didn’t you see me fall
Into the darkest of minds…
Didn’t you hear my voice break
When I pleaded you to stay?
Didn’t you see my knees shake
As you were walking away…
Didn’t I give you
Enough?
Didn’t I give you
Love…