You never came back, you said you would but you didn’t, and I guess it’s more fool me for ever thinking that after all that’s happened you would. But they said have faith, in time you’ll see, he’ll come back. But time was of the essence, so I took it upon myself to come find you and even tho I thought I never would have I did. You were happy and I saw that which only made it worst. Cause I was miserable. Couldn’t you see what you’d done to me? You made me want you so much that noone else would do. So […]
Final frontier and the music is sooooooo beautiful.
I need to find the way. Go- go- go, little parasect.
Let me summon my inner pokemon spirit.
Go- go- go, little parasect. You the living so fast.
Wait for the muk! Wait for the muk!
Singing to the melody. Butterfree- oh butterfree.
The pokemon and the zodiac race. Charizard was the first.
Ponyta, how do we cross the ocean. To the mystic fire mountain!
Be ready! You must be level fifty! Run run run!
What about Machoke and Rhydon?
What about Machoke and Rhydon. I wonder.
Rock Pokemons, we must travel South! It is where our earth auras […]
The daisy days go buy, i sit dazed and confused ,laying one with the being beneath me. he hugs me she trust me ,she know i am loyal to her trees, magnificent beings. closing my eyes,I wonder upon the mountain side, so small infinite to the world outside. I love it all, the one thing i could possibly love is her,the song birds sing ,i sigh the wind fills my lungs to saves my cries. Brush the hair of a girl who is so confined, so small to both her and time, I try to just be, love everything she made; including me, be open […]
When I first started feeling depressed and suicidal I didn’t go through with ending it all because I held onto the hope that things will surely get better, and I could find a way to fix everything. That was 5 years ago and I’m still waiting for things to get better …….
I’m running out of reasons to wait…
i thought you would be there for me
you promised me that you would
but now you broke that promise
and you may have broken me
but do i let you know about my shattered heart
about the tears running down my face
about the urge to cut because i need you
do i let you know about the sadness dwelling inside of me
of course not because that would break you
and if i broke you i would be indirectly breaking myself
its sad how i know that you dont need me
as much as i need you in my life
but yet i […]
Hi
I was going to wait to commit suicide until I am kicked out of my flat in a few years, but my depression is so bad, I am so lonely I just want to die now.
I was going to postpone it because my Dad died this year and my death in the same year would be worse for my family than waiting a few years.
I don’t get on with my family, they bullied me and my parents stunted my growth.
I know I am an adult now, but imagine those people who are malnourished as kids who never grow beyond a certain height, well thats […]
I’ve been waiting for years, for just a little bit of peace in my life. I have been trying to find my way, to make different decisions to help better my life. I have cut out a lot of negative people from my life, and despite having done that I’m still not happy not even a little. It feels like I’m in some sort of in between, sometimes I look up and see my life and wonder how I got here. I started crying again because I just don’t understand why I can’t find peace. I can’t stop loving or missing people from my past, […]
I’ve found self-confidence through the military, but the depression is getting to me. I need to get out of the army, last 3 more weeks, but I keep making mistakes. I keep falling down. I need to go home, the sergeant hates me now. He thinks I’m an idiot and I’m messing up because I can’t handle the stress. I don’t want to tell him because I’ll be stuck here longer. I just need to wait it out and get home safely.
I’m so sick of you trying to fix me, i don’t need your help and i don’t want it. You doesn’t understand how much i already fucking hate myself and how i hate every single thing i do, how i act, look, speak, everything. AND YET you still fucking point out every little fucking imperfection. “stop laying down on your bed and using your laptop” “do something productive” “clean your room” “read a book” ” how are you going to get honour if you don’t work your ass off even though you’re just in grade 9 and nothing matters, but still work your ass of […]
I’ve been married for eight years. Before that I was married to someone else for five. So I haven’t been by myself for a very long time. I have two children, a boy and a girl. They are the reason I haven’t done it yet.
I understand now why I am always sad, and why I fall in love with men who can’t love me back. My parents could never love me and there is a hole in my heart where there ought to be confidence. I was raised to be a good christian girl and always serve others. I was never supposed to want […]
It’s like don’t have to breathe, but have to wait. Till’ you say something again, so I can breather and live. But without you here.
I know I said I’d leave this site. I know I said I’d attempt and end it all. It doesn’t matter now, half-hearted attempts won’t get me anywhere. I guess I’ll just have to wait until I finally go insane for me to be able to end my pathetic life. Life certainly doesn’t improve at adulthood, turning 18 just makes shit more complicated, for anyone wanting to tell me that I should wait and stay alive. Typically, it seems 90% of the people I remember seeing here have gone for good and I’m just left here. That’s always how it goes, no matter […]
Suicide is not the coward’s way out. You’re leaving what you know to go somewhere you don’t. The ones who wait and wait and wait for it to get better and it never does, those are the cowards. I am not a coward. And I’m ready to end my life and kill the pain.
ive fucking had it. it’s 9 am. I’m tired as shit. i have more shit to do than i have time to do it. i don’t even fucking have time for a social life. I’m doing everything i possibly fucking can. all i want to do is graduate. at the top of my list. stop making my life so fucking hard and miserable. my skin is the worst it’s ever been and it won’t get better because I’m so fucking stressed. he keeps me talking till fucking late as shit then i have to get up early. i don’t have time for this. he doesn’t […]
just gonna wait and see for now and while i’m at it i’ll “work” a bit
“maybe tomorrow will change my mind…”
“maybe tomorrow will bring something i can’t predict or foresee, that will be worth the wait, and all the lost time…”
“maybe i don’t have to go yet, and maybe tomorrow won’t be as bad as it always seems to end up being…”
But… probably not.
Maybe i’m tired of deluding myself in the name of survival… since survival itself seems to be a detrimentally fruitless endeavor.
If i have to go through the mental acrobatics of deluding myself intentionally… i need to gain something worthwhile, to justify doing that. But that doesn’t seem to ever happen.
So i keep thinking…
“maybe tomorrow…”
‘There once was a ghost of a boy who liked to live in the shadows, so he wouldn’t frighten people. His job was to wait for his sister, who was still alive. She wasn’t afraid of the dark because she knew that’s where her brother was. At night, when darkness came to her room, she would tell her brother about the day. She would remind him how the sun felt on his skin and what the air felt like to breathe, or how snow felt on his tongue. And that reminded her, that she was still alive.’
.
Please, […]
I only love N… forever <3
I’ve been feeling really down since the sun has gone down; not that it ever really made a difference watching the sun through my bedroom window. These days, nothing changes with me, although things and people change all around. I lie here and wait for death to come for me, eventually.
Here is a song to go with my poem –
These Days – Nico
I’ve been out walking
I don’t do too much talking
These days, these days
These days I seem to think a lot
About the things that I forgot to do
And all the times I had the chance to
I’ve stopped my rambling
I […]
I mean, I have no real reason to live. No family. Health is terminal. There are movies coming out that I could see, but I don’t see why I should wait to see them, considering the ever-increasing pain.
But. I don’t need to bow out now.
That’s my justification from day to day and hour to hour. “It doesn’t have to be now”.
We’ll see how long that lasts.