Does it get any easier? Dealing with the pain? The sadness? Resisting the urge to wrap her in a hug and kiss her? How about pretending nothing’s wrong? Or accepting the fact that the thing you want most, you can’t have. Or how about living? Does that get any easier? Does it ever?
want
I was told it was going to get better. But, it is considered better if it still lasted 5 years. Where ever I go, I visualize different ways to kill myself with the objects around me. I tried to use my “imagination of my death” in my horror stories of torture. Its gets me to wonder if I really want to torture myself to death because of my self hatred or fall asleep to my death. This goes through my head everyday.
Hello I’m 25yrs young I like that word better I’ve felt this way for awhile now I attempted suicide once already and died for about 5 seconds, long enough to hear the heart monitor flatline and feel life slip away, when I was a kid I had believed in finding something to believe in or hold onto, when I was younger I would look into the mirror and this feeling of sadness ignite in my heart I’d stare through the tears and tell myself it’ll change it’ll go away I used to wake up at night and cry until I fell asleep again sometimes my […]
Don’t leave me
Don’t leave me
I can’t handle myself without you
Without you
These tears won’t fill my emptiness
I have this ache inside my chest.
Although we want to live and die.
Can we save this without goodbye.
Don’t leave me
Don’t leave me
I can’t stand to live without you
Without you
My lies have become my reality,
Is there such thing of you and me?
I can’t forget smiles and tears,
That help me through my biggest fears.
So please don’t leave me
Don’t leave me.
Cause I can’t even stand to try,
If we’re going to say goodbye.
Goodbye
This is goodbye
cause I […]
I sit by the computer
Waiting for a response
Someone to talk to
Just one person
Thats all I want
Someone to talk to
That is there
But I mean
Who would?
Who would talk to a depressed and suicidal girl like me?
Who would sit and take their time to talk to me?
People have lives I understand that
But all I just want is someone to talk to
I feel so lonely sometimes
When I just sit here
With the music on playing softly
Just waiting for a response, but never getting one
Oh so lonely…
Im 24 and have decided that I cannot any longer liVe my life.
My probkems started years ago..my parents were both very neglecting, Â and favoured drinking over their children regularly.
I was beaten by my dad until I was 18
Me and my mother have always been strangers…she just dosent like me
I was for all that reasonably popular un school but I have been battling severe insecurities about myself since 14
I found love 5 years ago this week
But the relationship is non existent and my girlfriend is only using me for money before she finishes with me for someone else
She didn’t even want to see me for our […]
It’s been while since last post. I have been trying to keep myself a little hope that everything goes better but it is just fucking big lie. I dont know anymore who I am . Feels just whole time that this is a nightmare. Back in time I was very socially but now just shy and most likely I just want to be in home where I am safe but same time afraid. when i look outside of window for people’s talking each other or running all over the places i Think how they survives whit black in their mind’s and why i just get […]
Hi
I was going to wait to commit suicide until I am kicked out of my flat in a few years, but my depression is so bad, I am so lonely I just want to die now.
I was going to postpone it because my Dad died this year and my death in the same year would be worse for my family than waiting a few years.
I don’t get on with my family, they bullied me and my parents stunted my growth.
I know I am an adult now, but imagine those people who are malnourished as kids who never grow beyond a certain height, well thats […]
The Suicide Spa- Check in if you wanna check out!
Does suicide really have to be this disgusting horrible action? Why is it so wrong to want to end your life on your own terms?
The thought of a 27 year old taking their own life is so “sad” and “unfortunate” yet a 95 year old dying ALONE, sick, and decrepit is just a normal everyday thing?
Death is the same no matter how you look at it. You “exist” then you don’t “exist” The end.
Why can’t society just admit that “life” for most of us is not that wonderful. I don’t want to watch myself grow old. […]
She’s right, whatever her name is
We had a deal.
I hid from the pain
And she took my place.
What if I don’t want to be numb anymore?
What if i’m tired of not feeling anything?
No happiness,
No sadness,
Nothing at all.
She was my shield for many years
She protected me from the horrors of this world
Now I relieve her from her post,
But she doesn’t want to go.
She clings on to me
I can find no way to get her out of my head
“Fat”, “ugly”, “worthless”, “useless”
She knows all my weaknesses and faults
And all she does is point them out.
She moves my arms and legs sometimes
I’m her puppet.
No matter how hard I try […]
Can someone talk with me on here? Like on this site? We can talk about whatever, i just want conversation i guess… Im going to try and talk, though im tired, and my brain isn’t working right (cause it just is, not cause im tired lol).
i kept telling myself that if i got sober all my relationship problems would change. And they did… but not the way I wanted them too. Now that I have relapsed its even worse than before. The arguments the fist fights…. it’s all back ten fold. And now that i rebuilt relationships with my mom and sisters I don’t necessarily want to die because I don’t want to hurt them but I can’t handle this relationship up and down and pain every day. And at the end of it all it’s all my fault for being a selfish addict and no matter how much I […]
I wish someone, something would kill me immediately.
Alas, no one cares enough to do that. Â It is nice that no one cares to pretend, but that would be the clincher. Â If no one will let you escape pain, they’d rather have you suffer for their own sake, they don’t truly care. Â They cannot truly care.
I don’t want to hear about plans or whatever God has to say. Â None of it matters in the slightest.
I don’t even know how many suicide attempts i’ve had, it only makes things worse when you don’t succeed.
People want to know why, you get sent to specialists and quite frankly, they’re a load of horse sh*t, putting faith in these people isn’t something i feel comfortable with, they don’t want to give you medication and when they do, they give you the wrong one, or they neglect to tell you that it’s addictive.
Right now i’ve got some anti anxiety medication, it’s started to kick in but the only thing it has done is make me want to clean, then  get stressed about mess, i’m […]
What if I don’t want to move on anymore?
What if I feel so done with this world and life?
What if I dread waking up every morning?
What if I feel disappointed that I hadn’t died?
What if I am so hurt in this life that I can’t be fixed?
I can’t live like this anymore.
I’m so close to death.
I haven’t felt loved in months.
I have felt hated.
I’ve been hurt so much.
The young girl that was once inside of me
The young girl that was filled with hope
Filled with love and joy
The little girl that had a beautiful imagination
Why do I bother? Why the FUCK do I even try anymore? After spending a few days in the psych ward, I would have thought that things would be a little better. You are just as goddamn selfish and self-absorbed as you ever were! What if I HAD killed myself, you *****? What would you have done then?
Would you go to your goddamn aerobics class instead of going to my funeral? “That’s how life is, and you just have to get over it. Stop letting every little thing bother you. You’re just like your daddy, I can’t talk to you!”
Maybe because all you ever want […]
Reality suck , Real Life suck , Real World suck . why human’s Imagination is much better & interesting than this everyday’s boring reality ??
I hate life, I hate people / humans, I hate reality, I hate this world.
its very boring, and especially nowadays become only very materialistic, money / profits driven only, all about money, superficial, shallow, and mundane boring!
Why movies, video games, comics, books, novels, anime/manga, creative Art, basically human’s IMAGINATION & fantasy is often/always a hundred times FAR much more interesting & better than this sad, mundane, boring, superficial, & very LIMITING life / world / reality ??…
does God (if there is indeed one…!) play such a cruel sick joke for especially creating human’s IMAGINATION inside our heads?? .. especially often the very creative, artistic, […]
Yes I am a cutter it’s how I deal with certain major problems a few months ago my life was going great now it’s taken a turn for the wiser my emotions are like a land mine and it dosent take much to trigger them if you don’t know me by now I’m Jason or Day whichever you want to call me is fine. I have been suicidal at a very young age and it’s only gotten worse I have drank so many chemicals in attempts to a true release but all have failed I always end up throwing the chemicals back up i am […]
So hi, I’m 13. I know that probably sounds young but whatever. Â I’m depressed, I self harm, and am bulimic. I’m attempted to kill myself many times- always getting interrupted my psycho parents who are abusive. I only have one real friend and he is my boyfriend. I love him so much but I feel like he likes other girls… he’s depressed and self harms also. he helps me live. he gives me the courage to keep going. without him I would be gone. I just feel like he likes other girls now… and when I was going to commit a while ago all he […]
Don’t know what “set me off” but now I really don’t want to wake up tomorrow. Maybe God will answer me this time.
Until then I’m going to blast the fuck out of some angry music and hope night time rolls around quickly so everyone goes away and I can have my blade. Dammit what’s wrong with me