I’m sitting here looking out this window, watching the world pass by. I see people driving by, working, laughing and holding hands the truth is I feel nothing but emptiness. I feel alone, I feel like a failure, like a nobody. The fucked up part is that I’m staring out this window thinking of you and wondering if I even slightly cross your mind. But I know you aren’t your thinking of yourself, and me I’m thinking of how I failed you. I can’t save you and it’s killing me, I want to die because I’m worthless. It’s over for me because I couldn’t do […]
Tag:
want
I keep dealing with difficult situation after difficult situation in life. And now, I am so used to turing my thoughts over to suicide, that it does this, automatically. That sort of “process addiction,” as it is known. But, I canot help it cus it gives me a sense of relief to know tht. Not only does having these types of thoughts make me feel as though I can have some kind of control in my messed up situations and life, but that I no longer will have to suffer. Just one problem… I don’t want to stop enjoying life, itself, […]
why does no one love me? i want to feel liked and different from everyone else. i feel like im living the same day over and over again and nothing is changing. im still the aggrisive upset person that people know me as and i want things to change, but its just so hard, so bloody hard. i want someone who can lift my mood. someone who really enjoys my company and is interested in getting to know me. but its me thats blocking that, because im the same grumpy person i was 2 minutes ago, 2 months ago and 2 years ago. i need […]
Every few days I go out to get some groceries, as I did today. It isn’t that I don’t want to go out- I do want to feel sun on my face and breathe in fresh air. I need that; I need that most days. But I often find myself unable to get out because I am scared, depressed, feeling trauma – because when I do go out, Â I feel disconnected, anxiety and very lost. As soon as I am done w groceries I head home, and it also gives me anxiety that I have to make the journey home. I am completely lost and […]
I used to know who I was. I was the person that my parents wanted me to be, and I was happy to be that person. But now, I’m not sure who I am or what I’m going to do. I’m lost in life and I don’t want to find my way again, because I am afraid of what will happen if I do. I feel as if I am lost, and just drifting through life. But I don’t know what else there is to it, because this is all that I remember. Cutting is the one thing that I have control over, to just […]
im 17 years old, im not gonna lie ive had a great life good friends, family that love me, i apprecate it all, but i really want to die i just dont want to live i have no reason to kill myself but i feel the need to i feel worthless, alone and ive been sitting in my room for 5 hours now really thinking about just doing it, i have a rope set in my room ready to go, all i have to do is move and ill be gone forever, before i go please someone tell me is it just me who wants […]
As you can tell from the title this post is about society. Im just writing to say what do you people think about an age gap in relationships. Society doesn’t see anything wrong with a 26 year old going with a 22 year old yet a 17 year old going out with a 13 year old is wrong and nasty. Just wondering what you think about it as a close friend said they really like someone who is 3 years older than them but doesnt want to ask them as she thinks it’s wrong? I see this to but surely it’s no different from a […]
That’s all I ever hear. It’s just a “stage”. Every teenager goes through it at some point. All they want is attention. Lie. It’s all a lie. If this is a “stage” then it’s one long, never ending “stage”.  I’m not a three year old going through the “toddler stage” like every toddler goes through. That’s a “stage”. I’m NOT going through a “STAGE”! this is a lifestyle. A lifestyle we dont want but are given.
just die. please. end this. there’s a train coming right towards me and i don’t even move. what’s wrong with me?! have i no shame? have i no honor? have i no GOD? indeed, i’m a disgrace to my family of achievers. yes, i’m a man who wastes his days away playing swtor and masturbates everyday. i want to change. but i can’t. but i wanted to. i think i don’t want to. every time i look at the mirror, all i see is the embodiment of failure.
i know my girlfriend is sick of me being negative. why shouldn’t she? there are millions of positive, […]
When I look at others, I think to myself.. Wow they must have an amazing life and family, when really they don’t. They may act happy, they may act like they have everything they could ever want. Most people have given me the impression that they get what they want, and ask me why I act like I have nothing. I use to think they had more than me, when in reality, I have more than them. Their parents don’t care. They try but never receive the affection they deserve. Parents with a lot of money don’t pay attention to their family, they focus more […]
I believe it’s common sense that ignoring others is pretty rude, especially if you talk to them or ask them something, whether it is in person or over the internet. Do they just not know? Like forgetting that you asked them a question? Or do they not want to talk to you for whatever reason? And if that is the case why don’t they just say that? Do they actually think that not responding is the better choice? Do they not realize what an impact this simple choice has on others? Or do they know and just like the fact that they are in a […]
I’m not going to kill myself yet, or maybe ever, Â if I discover something to live for. Which is unlikely.
I’m thinking I’ll wait until my parents die. I’m seventeen now, so that’ll be a while. I don’t know what to do with my life. I want the emptiness to go away. I’ve given up on myself a long time ago – I don’t have a co-dependent personality disorder, but I can only force myself to exist if it’s because other people need me. So if I never find anyone else, as soon as both of my parents are gone I’ll go to a place where […]
I have a long list of reasons I want to die. The main reason though is him. He was amazing and now he’s gone. I miss him. Why did he leave this world so early? Why did he choose to? I like him and now he’ll never know.
I could lie and say that everything gets better and life is amazing but that wouldn’t help. 3 Days ago I made a decision to take my own life, I bought a bunch of painkillers and vodka and thought I wanted to die… it didn’t work and I spent 2 days in the hospitals poison ward attached to a drip with a needle sticking outta my hand, I had to listen to my families reaction over a phone call and it killed me having to hear what I did to them, I will never forget the sounds of my mum crying, not knowing what happened. […]
2/22/14
Id like to be able to think ill wake up tomorrow and be happy and forget that i feel the way i do and have for the past years of my life. I know that wont happen. I often look at myself in disgust and think about how much I’ve fucked up. I waste to much time doing this when i should be doing this. My future seems like a hell hole. I don’t see me Completing any of my dreams because i just cant come to think i’m good at fucking anything and it makes me want to just fucking give up. I have […]
So this is a suicide letter I wrote to my best friend (Leaving her unknown because I’m protecting her identity. So lets just call her Anne and call me Rose. And if I say “I love you”, its friend love.) because I was really thinking about it that day.
February 8 2014
Dear Anne,
I honestly do not want to say this one word that means so many things, but this is my goodbye. I love you so much and I know you’re hurting too, but please don’t make the same mistakes that I’m making. I don’t want you to turn up the same way that […]
our life is together
our life has been forever
our time is never
never ending
places to go, things to do
words to speak
songs to sing
tears to cry
i tried so hard to make you proud of me
all i want is your love
im so alone
and so sad without you
am i dying?
i need you
i need my family
i just want to be happy
Will sleeping pills with alcohol kill me- going into deep (painless) sleep style?
by caillte
written by caillte
You don’t have to read the rest of this, I just couldn’t help myself once I started. The questions in the title!
Right now I want to die. I’ve never felt it this strongly before. But then that stupid feeling of how it will affect my family keeps creeping in. Any ideas on how to get over it.
I keep fantasizing about death. It makes me smile now. And I feel like I should kill myself now before the other girl comes back. The girl who is smarter, possibly. The girl who will always be too chicken to go through with it. But right now I need […]
I want to help others more.
Please email me at rochellecate@yahoo.com if you ever feel depressed or lonely.
I promise, I will be here for you. I’ll help you get through whatever you’re going through.
You are NOT alone. I’ll listen to you. I’ll be your friend. Please let me help you.