its like i feel like screaming and crying and destroying everything but at the same time i just want to curl up and die silently and i want everyone to see me and care but i want to be alone and have no one even know i exist. its confusing and scary and i cant tell ANYONE my dad couldnt care less about anything to do with me and my friends dont need the added stress
want
So, I was thinking about telling my mum that I want to start going to therapy. But I have no clue whether seeing a therapist would help me at all.
I feel I have quite a few issues, and I’d like to talk to someone who knows what they’re doing, and maybe get a possible diagnosis for something, so I know I’m not crazy.
I’d like to be able to discuss the fact that I’m not happy with the way I look and feel, and how this has an effect on everyday things. Most days, I don’t want to go outside because people will see […]
I don’t use this shit really but in the past week or so shits been really fucked and I just want to write this all down somewhere because it’s all bottled up in my head. For the past two years nothing anybody says or does to me affects me. Whether it’s good or bad I’m indifferent. I’ve heard it all. If someone told me I should kill myself it wouldn’t affect me because I’ll be doing just that soon enough, and there’s nothing that could change my mind about killing myself. Nothing anyone can do or say that will make me suddenly think living is […]
Ive made mental lists physical lists of pros and cons. Ive tried to envision how my choice impacts all others. Will it be better or worse for them? Will i truly be better off? I know im tired of hurting and fighting and some people in my estimation will be better off. That’s one of the hard parts of struggling with suicidal thoughts. Unlike other big decisions you cant honestly consult close friends or experts and get good useful feedback like you can with other big decisions. I know i want to stop hurting and i dont want others to hurt either by my continued […]
My mother tells me I’m selfish but she doesn’t know that I didn’t kill myself yet just because I didn’t want to hurt her.
I really need a therapist, I’m constantly telling my parents I need a therapist, but they keep telling me to tell them my problems and the don’t fucken understand. Like they can’t take a hint. They don’t want to get me a therapist because they don’t want to pay the money.
If only they knew I was suicidal.
I’m new on here but I just want to know is there a way for me to kill myself with seroquel, Norco, Voltaren, flexeril, and hydrocodone? Or would it just be better to use a gun and blow my freaking brain out?
Nothing sucks, nothing’s great.. i just want to stop :/
I lay here all night and morning till the sun comes up. The light hurts my eyes now I’m so used to being alone in the dark and enjoying the quiet that I hate so much. It’s not that I like being alone it’s all I’m used to. How do you go about changing that? Make friends, get into a relationship, go outside and live a little? I can’t anymore, I’ve lost my connection with the rest of society it’s just me, my bed, and my thoughts. I don’t even want it to go away anymore I just want it to be quiet forever. I […]
Do you ever hear people say, “It’s okay. It’ll all get better.” Or “It’s only temporary.” And “Stay Strong.”
I’ve heard those phrases so many times in my life, it never really motivates me at all to keep going. Honestly, I feel like people only say that, just because they don’t have anything else to say that’ll actually make a difference. I’m glad I’ve found this website because, writing how I feel is far better than telling a “friend” how I feel. I’m about to be a Junior in high school and sometime during my Sophmore year, I texted a friend that I’ve known for 4 […]
I find myself not being able to catch my breath. Like a stranger just comes out with a punch to the gut. I am just moving along in this life trying to cope and maybe fool myself into thinking that I am putting one over on the rest of them. The them that seem to have it all together. The them that are capable of connection.
Then there is something, maybe something I see, I smell, I read, I dream or watch in a movie that just knocks the wind out of me. Maybe these little events show me a glimse of what could be if […]
I’m not suicidal, but I don’t want to live. If something naturally happened to end my life I would be relieved. I feel like my entire life has been one disappointment after the other. I feel like people shouldn’t have kids if they can’t look after them. I feel like my parents shouldn’t have had me, it was irresponsible. I feel like as a general rule, people are selfish, and through that I have been abused and irreparably damaged. I used to be so excited about things and life and was such a happy kid, but I’ve been through too much now. There is millions […]
I can’t take anymore of this life. I can’t take the back and forth feeling of being happy to being depressed/suicidal. I don’t want to keep getting like I don’t belong anywhere and that I am a worthless waste of space. Please someone just kill me already because I am unable to do it myself.
I won’t bore you with a backstory. But it’s not good – abuse, death etc. etc. Back in November I fell in love with this girl. I’d been in long and serious relationships before but this was a very different feeling. After things went, for want of a better word, tits up I gave up on the idea. When I found out it wouldn’t work I got severely depressed. It also sparked OCD, insomnia and anxiety. I felt a little better one day and developed a relationship with someone else however my feelings for her faded and the feelings for the first girl came back […]
Now I want to kill myself for the simple fact that I’m sick to death of every person on earth saying I’m bat shit crazy and fucked up in the head because I want love in my life!!!! Everyone since I was a kid has said that it’s wrong for me to think about love or want love!! Now I get called bat shit crazy and am said to not know what love is or be capable of loving anyone!!! I am going to fucking kill myself this year so everyone can shut the fuck up!!!!!!!!!!
For everyone out there who is struggling with suicidal thoughts and/or depression, I just want to ask you a question. Have you ever felt like this a drowning feeling? Because if I am the only one, that would be good information. Thanks.
I’m scared because the only thing that has kept me from going over the edge are my boys and it seems lately that isn’t enough. I know those feelings are selfish and they make me feel like a horrible person and mother. Which just pushes me further to edge. I’ve tried to talk to a friend and I just keep being told that I’m fine, maybe I’m PMSing. I can’t find anyone to talk to me seriously and I’m afraid that if I talk to a doctor they’ll take my kids away. I don’t want to die but I can’t live like this.
So….Salt and I both had 3 days of hell, back to back. I think when he fell down the hole, I was still kind of connected to him. Through this site, we both found ways to hold on, because, believe me, during my time in hell last week, I would have blown my brains out if I had a gun….and some of you know how anti gun I am…so what does that tell you?
Now for the corny part: I truly believe the only way we are gonna get through this life is if those of us who understand the weight of our illness are ready […]
No matter how soon or how much more of this year I’ll see, I really want to do one more thing. I’ll have to buy another cheap tattoo kit like the one I had before and take the risk of attempting it with the hand I don’t normally write with. But I want “I’m not human” written on my arm. I at least want it known when I die what my main problem was and that sums it up. I took a chance earlier and put my soul crushing experience on a very public forum just to vent it out that yes I am hurt, […]
I don’t know what I am. I feel like saying I’m depressed will be an insult to those who have it worse. I don’t know what I want from life, I just know that this isn’t it. Sometimes I try to pinpoint the exact moment in my life that I became like this, then I realise I was always this thing. This thing that doesn’t deserve to live. I know sometimes the best people we know think of themselves as absolute trash, but believe me I’m a terrible human being. I’m toxic. I keep hurting the people around me, especially my mother. I find myself getting […]
I love you, Alicia. I can’t live anymore, and I hope you can understand. I just want to find ultimate peace…. a permanent solution to my constant suffering.
See you on the otherside.