It’s a struggle to get through the day. Often I get off work and first thing I do is drink myself to sleep, around 4pm, it only takes me about 30 minutes and I’m asleep, good ol tequila….but the rest of my life is pain. I constantly think of suicide. I heard her voice this morning, when she came to pick up the dog, she was laughing with my roommates…perfectly fine…perfectly happy. When I wake up in tears daily. It always comes back to this. I am 24 years old, a lesbian, and I am constantly coming back to this depression. Sure there are breaks […]
I just took 15 ibuprofen . I did it because I want my parents to know I need help. I don’t want to die. I’m home alone should I call my dad to take me to the ER? PLEASE HELP I DONT WANT TO DIE 🙁
I’ve only been to one therapy session before. It was rather recent–maybe two or so weeks ago. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. I made the appointment in a moment of desperation (I tried to interact with a person and it didn’t exactly work out). I though that instead of crying and cutting over it, I would be appropriate and handle my porcelain emotions carefully and not break myself. As soon as I called to make the appointment, I found out that I had to wait like 3 weeks. I lost it after I hung up and ended up cutting myself, […]
If you sit in a room … a dark room . No technology … nothing but black painted walls and you by yourself . You have time to think , to reflect on every little thing . As you listen to music ( for those music lovers ) it takes you to a totally different world . As if all that matters is you and what you are thinking about . It lets you escape into your own world . Everyone says you should try to nove forward … to move forward from those who hurt you , from the things that has happened in […]
It’s funny. What it all comes down to in the end. I thought id want to pack down my room for my parents. I thought I’d want to write an individual letter for every person I cared about. I thought I’d assign my belongings in writing, making each and every one a symbolic gift for those whom I adored. I’d thought I’d wear my favourite clothes and think about all my favourite things as I farewelled this life. But it turns out […]
I’m 15 years old. I just started cutting. i feel like my life isn’t really worth it anymore. i have contemplated suicide. i even looked up medications that i could overdose on. i almost committed suicide Friday morning. I’m not one of those people who justseeks attention because if you want attention, don’t go about it this way. if anyone understands pain and guilt, that’s me.
im a 20 yo male. ive been feeling this way a while now, it doesn’t seem to be getting better. i have friends and family that love me just as much as i love them. as much as it hurts though, i don’t think they can fix the way i feel. i don’t feel control over my emotions like i used to. i have good days, then i have days where i feel like im falling much too fast to be caught. no hard drugs here, just pot. i think it helps me. i don’t want to depend on it though. i have support, i […]
Who understands what this feels like. Who knows the pain I’m in. Who lives with suicidal thoughts everyday of their life. I don’t want to die but I don’t want to be here. Does anybody understand? I am a 24 year old queer female who is lost and struggles with alcoholism/addiction issues. Is there anybody out there that could relate/talk to me?
I feel very guilty for looking for a purpose. I know that the meaning of life is self-appointed, and as much as I try I know that I can’t find a reason. This is only day 6 of a weird bout of depression–I usually don’t get as depressed as this, where it heavily impacts me–but I am through with it. Why do I still go to lectures and pretend that all of this matters? Why do I still try to do well in class and get so fucking disgusted with myself when my grades aren’t the best? After undergrad is graduate and the formation of […]
You want to help someone, but you can’t. You try, but everything has failed. You want to give up, but you can’t.
What are you afraid of ? Stop running. Stand there. Stand and be strong. Be strong.
I am your safe haven. I will be your safe haven on earth. It’s okay. Stay with me. Don’t go. Don’t leave me. I will be strong enough for you.
I think.
No. I must.
Ah god I am stupid….it hurts so much ….
I figured out too late that I don’t want to die ._.
What am I doing in here and not going to go call 911? Easy I’m too much of a retard and coward who would rather die I guess than seek help ….man I’m stupid.
I swallowed twenty Tylenol pills and even though I tried taking myself out of it I still did it …. I’m so stupid god I’m stupid.
I’m so tired and I feel so icky and ugh….my head hurts….my stomach hurts too. I tried puking them out and yet again […]
That’s what I was told. By my own father. I’m only 17.
It makes me wonder then, would he actually feel sadness if I died? I sort of want to put it to the test, but what if that’s just depression screaming at me?
I’m surprisingly calm about this. I’ve been endlessly suicidal recently and I’ve given myself time to come to terms with the fact that maybe I don’t want a future.
Oh, I don’t know really… I think I’ve hit the most agonising rockbottom so far and I don’t think I can pull myself up from this one.
i hate myself so goddamn much and i just want to take all the pills in my fucking cabinet. everybodys going to end up hating me and leaving me like they always do. there’s no point in me even living anymore and no point of me trying so hard not to relapse with the cutting and stuff… it hurts so bad to fell this way and to sit here and cry and hurt while everybody else is so happy. i hate that anybody has to feel the way that i feel but i deserve it…. i need to die…. i want someone to kill me… […]
I’m gonna try and make/keep a pledge this winter to not feel the cold loneliness of winter and the holidays. Of course I will feel lonely, but I want to try my best not to make excuses to why I’m so lonely, blaming it on the cold and the holidays. I don’t want to be desperate for some one else to be there. I don’t want to provoke sympathy from others by claiming “the winter’s are so lonely, they are the worst”
I want to make a pledge to be strong and endure, unshaken. I won’t let my mind be taken over by the cold […]
I went to a psychiatric testing place last week, and I’ve got to go back again Monday. I’ve noticed that I express far fewer symptoms of depression than I had years ago. For instance, I don’t actively want to commit suicide, but I still wish to stop existing. I sleep whenever I can, because there is nothing to do at all that means anything. I don’t want a job because there is no point, and I’m currently mentally incapable of having one, as I break down about a couple of weeks in, realising how pointless and worthless I am and that my job suggests the […]
I am slowly coming to honest terms with the fact that, against all of my efforts, there truly is no hope for me. Whatever good things that I either create for myself or just happen upon me are all illusions whose ugly truths get revealed eventually.
I cannot trust my mom or my dad. Or the various mentors in my life.
I cannot trust my sister.
I don’t know if I can trust my brother, although ironically he’s shattered my trust many times in the past.
I cannot trust the only person who has ever really known me and who said the words, “I will always love you.”
I no longer have friends to break my trust.
This February, […]
No idea what to do anymore. I feel so broken and hopeless. Society is doomed. No one is honest. No one is trustworthy. Most people are too drama filled to even be friends with them. I spend my nights looking at others posts on here. Looking at ways to go painlessly. Sitting alone in my room. Whenever I have something I want it gets ripped away. The universe doesn’t want me to be happy. Two years with someone, they cheat. Three years with someone, they cheat. Finally get engaged to someone, they get Prego, found out they cheated and they also lost the baby. I […]
I may be young but my life is crumbled.My problem is not as serious as you people who take drugs and cut themselves because you are seriously hurt.I just feel like a piece of s***. I keep smiling in my life holding back my real feelings but that just makes me feel worse it makes me feel like i want to explode! My friends are not my real friends my family only critisize my every move i have no freedom.i feel like i want to die. I told myself that if i go through this hardship then god will reward me with heaven.but no. I […]
I’ve been struggling for so long. I don’t understand why I hate myself so much. Why I don’t want to live. I want to be done. I want to be peaceful. I hate hating myself. I feel alone. I feel left out. I hate breathing. I feel isolated and alone. I want to go to sleep and never wake up.